Fornicate so he can remarry??

by juci32 32 Replies latest jw experiences

  • mamalove
    mamalove

    The rules are ridiculous. It is none of their business according to the law. Do with that what you must. I am apalled his mom has tried to tell you also. What is that all about?

    Since you are not a JW, you are under no obligation to play by those rules. Just go about your business. Also, they will probably give him their approval to get married again taking into consideration you are worldly and all, and have probably had sex by now anyway. But don't be surprised if they stalk you. Under no circumstances would I play by their rules.

  • juci32
    juci32

    @ New Chapter... I like your post and sorry you had to deal with that, and just to let you know.... I agree with what you are saying. I dont have a problem letting him know that he is free because i dont hold any harsh feelings for him and dont want him to be alone.

    @ other poster... it did cross my mind that since they preach about Arm. being so close, then why is he so pressed about remmarrying?? maybe he doesn't really believe that it's close??

  • juci32
    juci32

    I have no problem simply telling him that "he is free" once i move on, I will never go into any details. even though i dont agree with all their rules I still wouldnt want to be as anal as they are . He told me I dont have to give details as Chapter stated above,he just doesnt want to be alone.

  • sspo
    sspo

    It's your choice eventually to confess or not, whether you sleep with someone or not it's none of their business.

    let him wait on Jehovah since your ex has faith in him and remind him to follow the apostle Paul words and the watchtower to stay single and devote his life in doing more for jehovah and secure himself eternal life on earth. :-)

    My ex also left me because of my "apostasy" and was not free to remarry and put me under a lot of pressure to let her be "free to remarry".

    I waited four years and just two months ago i told her that she could remarry.. would not put anything in writing and just talked to the elders about it.

    I confessed out of compassion for her, due to her mental state and financial problems and for the sake of our adult children in seeing her in such a miserable state and also to put a closure to my marriage. Time for both to move on.

    Don't confess about anything for a while and let him realize how the rule of the watchtower is all F$%^^d up

  • NewChapter
    NewChapter

    @ New Chapter... I like your post and sorry you had to deal with that, and just to let you know.... I agree with what you are saying. I dont have a problem letting him know that he is free because i dont hold any harsh feelings for him and dont want him to be alone.

    Juc, I'm glad you see things that way. It's very kind and generous of you. On the other hand, if you had chosen the opposite, that would not have made you cruel or anything. I had such a hard time writing that, because I didn't want it to appear that I 'bought into' it anymore, or that I support it. Yet, at one time, this doctrine made me extremely unhappy.

    This org lays a heavy burden on the believers. To us, it makes absolute sense to just move on. For them, it would mean possible destruction. I no longer even believe in god, but when I did, how did I ever believe that he would humiliate us so? Oh well, ever forward.

  • jwfacts
    jwfacts

    Mat 19:9 "I say to YOU that whoever divorces his wife, except on the ground of fornication, and marries another commits adultery."

    That is the extent of what the Bible says.

    You have no obligation to advise him if you have another partner. He showed he loves a religious corporation more than he loves you, so don't play by his rules. If he meets another girl and has no knowledge that you have been with another man, he will be forced to "fornicate" in order to marry her, and potentially be disfellowshipped. It sounds like that is what he deserves.

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep
    He said that Jehovah will deal with me.

    LOL

    Threaten you with his toothless God that has let the Watchtower down god knows how many times. What a joke.

    He chooses to live by their rules. He has to put up with the consequences.

    He should have thought of that before he joined, before he married one of the great unwashed, before he stuffed up his marriage.

    If you tell them you've done the deed, they'll use that to slag you off big time around their friends, relatives and congregation. Your name will be mud. They'll parade your 'sin' around like a trophy to justify their righteousness.

    Give them nothing. That's what they earned.

    You're not guilty of anything. Get on with your new life.

    Cheers

    Chris

  • JRK
    JRK

    Just to let you know, you will be stalked to try to get proof of the big F (fornication). He or some of his buddies will camp out to see if a guy is at your place overnight.

    It is just the way that things are done in JW land. Just lie your ass off and say that you did the dirty deed, and he will be off your back, and you will not have to deal with their bullshit.

    JK

  • JRK
    JRK

    Just to let you know, you will be stalked to try to get proof of the big F (fornication). He or some of his buddies will camp out to see if a guy is at your place overnight.

    It is just the way that things are done in JW land. Just lie your ass off and say that you did the dirty deed, and he will be off your back, and you will not have to deal with their bullshit.

    JK

  • Check_Your_Premises
    Check_Your_Premises

    Well, I presume at some point that you will remarry. So maybe just tell him that he can keep an eye out in the newspaper for the announcement? But telling him after you are divorced seems kind of silly, and not really your problem.

    It is extremely difficult being married to a witness. One that was born "in" and has family "in" is probably unreachable.

    I hope I am not out of line here, or being overly simplistic... but have you considered that God brought you together with a witness for a reason, and that maybe divorce is not what he had in mind for you here? Again, sorry if I am overstepping.

    -CYP

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