Fornicate so he can remarry?? (page 3)

diamondiiz

LOL this is funny, I can't believe an ex would ask such a stupid question and demand you tell him when you have sex with someone else. Tell him you plan on being single for the rest of you life. Will that mean he will also need to be single for the rest of his life so he doesn't commit fornication and get DF?

ramtrucker

My first wife initiated a divorce about two years after I became disabled in an on the job accident. During our 38 years together she maintained the position that she didn't need to work since I made enough to support us. (I'd been a carpenter before my accident). When it became apparent that my income was going to be cut because of the accident and becoming disabled she began searching for a new mate, using the internet and cybersex to find someone.

The first I knew of her looking for another mate was when she flew to California to spend some time with an internet boyfriend, then came back and announced she was divorcing me because she loved this guy. He'd promised her that he would buy her a new car, and make her the mistress of his new five bedroom home.

She and I were both witnesses, but I had slowly faded over the course of the preceeding years until the only time I attended meetings were the Memorial Service, and circuit and district assemblies. She has/had a large family, four sisters and one brother, all of whom were in the truth except for one sister that married a Catholic about the time my wife was born. There was 16 years between my now ex-wife's age and her next eldest sister.

Her family tended to shun her for a time after the divorce. I never really learned what all happened as far as the witnesses go. I'd been contacted by a pair of brothers who asked me a lot of questions, and then took their leave. I never saw them again After roughly two years passed, I met and married a sweet lady, who is not a JW.

It wasn't long after that, that all of a sudden my ex-wife was back in the good graces of her family. All because I'd married again. Thus committing adultry which released her to be welcomed back into the her family's arms so to speak. Ultimately she married also. He's not a JW. As far as I know they treat him like one of the family. A position that I once held.

To this day, I've not had any contact with any of her family. It's especially hurtful as I looked up to her brother like he was a big brother to me. I've known their family since I was approximately eleven years old.

Recently our oldest granddaughter messaged me through facebook that her grandmother, my ex-wife had told her terrible stories about me which caused her to divorce me. She has now come to realize that the stories were lies. It's too bad her grandmother had to make up vicious stories in an attempt to explain her reasons for leaving me, when she was an adulteress.

ambersun

I have seen so many cringeworthy occasions over the years where JWs have had to go begging to their ex spouses to provide them with written admissions of fornication so they can remarry. Why does the Society allow non JWs to hold such power over their own people. It is just wrong!

One of my close JW relatives was forced to live the life of a nun for the best years of her life because, despite constant grovelling, her ex hubby would not give her a confession. The reason? He did not want his daughter calling another man 'daddy', even though he was assured that would never happen. Eventually his concience got the better of him (when his daughter was a teenager and too old to call another man 'daddy') and he gave her the letter she needed.

This stupid rule makes me

teel

Although I understand NewChapter's point, I still think it is not up to us to play by the cult's rule, just to make life easier for someone who chose to go down that road. A light example: I won't stop a JW to enter our appartment complex, but when they ring up to me, I will never open the door to them to witness to others. I don't interfere with their lives or their cult rules whatsoever. If my non-involvement produces grief for my ex-wife, then I don't see why that would be my fault. I do not hate her at all, but I won't play by a cult's rule just to make her life easier. Also I do not make her life harder on purpose either by keeping it a secret that I have a new fiance that I will marry soon. I just live my life disregarding all cult rules, and acting like any normal human would with another normal human.

highdose

I would bet a pound to a penny that he has met someone else, a JW woman and he wants to get to gether with her, but damn! the demon ex wife won't go F*** someone!

Stalking will be the next step for him, its the norm in the JW world, some have even gone to the lengths of getting a private dective on to the case, one person i knew of even hired a private dective in the country where his ex wife was going on holiday to! Belive it or not private dectives in the UK at least get alot of work in from JW's. I got talking to one once, he couldn't understand why they had to prove that the ex spouse was with someone else, but he wasn't going to argue with the client... after all work is work.

I know of others who got people from the ex spouses place of work to spy on them, and of course theres always the old "sitting outside the house in the car for hours on end" ploy.

If i were in your shoes i wouldn't play by their rules at all, let him sweat...

nugget

My husbands JW mother told everyone she had a scriptual divorce but she didn't.

Your life is yours you have no requirement to tell him about your love life or future relationships. Divorce means the end of the relationship. If you choose to tell him that must be your decision. I would merely say that if you decide to remarry you will send notification but at the moment you have to recover from the last relationship and it will take as long as it takes.

cantleave

What you do or don't do is noboy else's damn business.

St George of England

You may wish to ask him what it's worth financially!!

George

Jim_TX

My first question is ... How was he able to marry you, if he is such a 'good' JW?, and NOT get reproved or DF'ed for marrying a non-JW?

With that said, I think that you should just show him your rude finger on your way out of the door as you leave him. You do not 'owe' him any words later that would 'let him off the hook', so to speak. Especially if he was able to marry you in the first place without getting his rear in a crack with the local elders.

They will find a way to say, 'it's okay', just like they did when he married you - a non-JW.

My story was similar... I used to be a JW, and married another JW gal. I later faded away, and quit being a JW. I finally told the now ex-wife that I couldn't do it anymore, and moved out. I then filed for divorce. She came hounding me, with our teen-aged daughter in tow, asking me if I had 'fornicated'.

I told her that the law said that we were divorced and that should be good enough for her.

It's none of their business what you do after you divorce. Period. If you never played by their 'rules' why start now?

Regards,

Jim TX

blondie

Jim, jws are not df'd or reproved for just marrying a non-jw; they are "marked" though with a talk before the congregation, but no names are said. I know from my own experience.

Jim is right about not playing by their rules.

Fornicate so he can remarry??

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