Im still a fader trying hard to get some information across to my wife. As I have said beforre it is really getting tough on me though.
Are you a fader, Df'd, DA'd, or Still In?
by brotherdan 86 Replies latest jw experiences
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Quendi
I was disfellowshipped in September 2005. By September 2007 I realized that I no longer wanted to be one of Jehovah's Witnesses. However, I continued to pursue reinstatement because of the people I still deeply loved in the organization. My plan was to get reinstated, reestablish my friendships and contacts, and then gently "fade" from view. That plan was thwarted by my judicial committee who continually put impediments to my reinstatement. They always had some trivial matter I needed to "work on" before they said they could grant my request. At length, I realized that the biggest impediment I faced was my attitude about the WTS and its publications. The elders demanded that I embrace the belief that both were being used and provided by Jehovah himself exclusive of any other arrangement.
I met with the committee for the last time in June 2010. I knew that would be my last meeting with them regardless of what they decided. Sure enough, they told me to wait and reapply later. I didn't argue with these false shepherds. Instead, I thanked them for their time and have never spoken to them since. I have not been to a meeting since spring 2010 and will never darken the doorstep of a Kingdom Hall again. The conditions they have set for reinstatement are completely unacceptable. There is no way the WTS is a "spirit directed organization" and I won't endorse such a naked lie.
There was one elder who continued to maintain contact with me even after my disfellowshipping. He studied with me, and then got me on the path to studying the Bible for myself. He had been trying for years to get the WTS to change its teachings on a number of issues only to be met with silence. Eventually he himself was disfellowshipped on orders from Brooklyn without so much as a judicial committee hearing.
I am still in contact with a few Witnesses. Some are fading, while one is a ministerial servant who has been unwavering in his love and support. I don't know how much longer that will last, however. He has been urging me to go back to meetings and pursue reinstatement despite my opposition to WTS teaching and policy because he still feels the WTS is "Jehovah's organization." I suspect matters will finally come to a head next spring when the Memorial season arrives. I have no intention of attending the observance. My refusal to do so may finally end a friendship of more than twenty years. As for most of the friendships I have made in more than thirty years association, I don't count on them being renewed. That has been devastating, but I have come to accept it. So I have mourned, grieved, and now am ready to move on.
What I have come to realize is the power of Paul's statement at Romans 3:4, "But let God be found true, though every man be found a liar." The WTS has wrapped itself in the mantle of "the Truth". I know now beyond the shadow of any doubt how false that is. I have to remember that Christ is our Leader. He is our Teacher. He did not relegate that to some religious elite who would seek to become master over the faith of their brothers like the Governing Body of the WTS now does. Christ's teachings are in the Bible for his followers to discover and follow. The WTS claims it relies exclusively on the Bible as the inspired word of God, but it has proved false to that claim. I have realized that following Jesus can mean losses. Leaving the WTS has certainly entailed that for me, but having the love of Christ as well as the love and approval of his Father is far more important. That has given me a peace and contentment that has strengthened me immeasurably.
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Carole007
Faded out approximately 3 weeks ago. Was never baptised, did make publisher and joined the school. Last year I was kicked out of the school because I had a blood transfusion. (The holier than thou sister couldn't wait to run back and tell the elders that.) Had been studying off and on for the past 30 years, just could not make the plunge. It seemed like the truth but something about it did not seem right. Cliques like you would not believe. The pasted on smiles, not to mention all this so-called love. Could not understand how you have all this holy spirit floating around and then have people walking around acting worse than the people in the world. I am no angel, but you been in the truth all this time and you still have not learned having a sense of human decency.
My 16 year old wanted no part of this, and I would not make him attend. My mother gave me a choice when I was coming up and I was not going to force this on him. I had planned on making a move toward baptism. With all this nagging going on in my head. Then the sister came for my bible study. She told me that my problem was that I did not respect authority. She recalled the time that I remembered vividly, I wanted a CD(the Watchtower Library) I asked one of the elders could I use his to do some research for my lessons. He said that they were only for DEDICATED witnesses. So I said never mind, and added I will get it on my own. Which I did purchase from Amazon.com. So she said if the brothers say you can't do something or have something then they mean just that. You must OBEY the brothers. Something about that word OBEY. Having been a rebel all my life, that word just mades me sick.
Took a nap with this OBEY nonsense still weighing heavily on my mind. When I woke up I remembered what it was. RAY FRANZ I had read his book ( Crisis of Conscience) 11 years earlier, did all sorts of research on the WT Society. How in the hell could I have forgot all this information? Called my Bible study teacher told her I would not be back. Wrote a letter to my local congregation, and informed them I was resigning from the school and to be place on the DO NO CALL list and have not looked back. For those that are wondering how I forgot this information in the first place, I had open heart surgery 11 years ago. I was on life support for 3 hours and a lot of things I could not remember, some things I had to learn all over again.
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Hoffnung
Still in. No Propaganda spreading since at least a year. The elders have me in their cross fire though, so I have to start fading.
Nobleheart, I hope you are not mistaken with the opinion that your family will not shun you when you DA. You might not be able any more to help others once you have DAed. I have no idea about how it goes in your country, but if you DA where I live, you will be met with a very cold and hard wall of silence, especially from family members. It is understandable to want to leave with dignity, but that is not how the society sees it. Even if it is your desire just to quit membership, your DA will not prevent letters being sent from congregation to congregation about your whereabouts wherever you move. In some respects it is as bad as the gestapo. Your family members might follow the rules of the GB (see "Keep yourselves in God's Love" Page 207), once they feel their loyalty to God is at stake.
Anyway, whatever you decide, I am with you, as most others on this board. I admire your courage to take this step. Let us know how it goes.
Hoffnung
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brotherdan
Last year I was kicked out of the school because I had a blood transfusion.
Well then you will see the dishonesty in the Watchtower when they said this to the human rights court in 1997:
In respect of the refusal of blood transfusion, the applicant association submits that there are no religious sanctions for a Jehovah's Witness who chooses to accept blood transfusion and that, therefore, the fact that the religious doctrine of Jehovah's Witnesses is against blood transfusion cannot amount to a threat to public health." {Sworn testimony submitted by the Society in evidence before the European Human Rights Commission Jul 3 1997}
Can any JW apologist reason through that this is not a lie?
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laverite
I DA'd while at university. I wanted to officially resign, state my reasons, and make it official. I didn't want my name associated any longer with Watchtower Corp. & Real Estate Co.
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Franklin Massey
Leaving WT, you have a PM.
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Franklin Massey
Very much in. Appointed man, lots of duties, public talks, the whole nine yards. Being in the Org is the only part of my life that feels like a lie. I'm basically an actor. I've gone through the idea of DA but it would destroy my family and friends and they are more important to me than my personal preference of not being a JW. I'll continue to push through and hopefully loosen the grip that the WT holds on those I love the most. If I can devise an effective fade plan, I will. Its quite hard when you have so many responsibilities in the congregation.
Sincerely, Franklin "Faking My Way Through It" Massey*
Name has been changed to protect the identity of poster
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Joliette
I'm still there, but I know its not the truth. I'm moving to Oklahoma in 2013 so by then, I will no longer be attending meetings. So I'll be fading by 2013.
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leavingwt
Leaving WT, you have a PM.
Thank you. You also have one.