I make excuses for my ex and witness relatives telling myself that they're not responsible because they are under mind controll. But is that good enough. Can treating someone as if they don't exist be excused ? My mother didn't I asked her why She said "I brought you into the world your still my son". I think for many shunning appeals to some witnesses. Feeds their self righteousness What do you think?
Being responsible for your behaviour
by Luo bou to 20 Replies latest jw friends
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Heaven
I think for many shunning appeals to some witnesses. Feeds their self righteousness What do you think?
Luo bou to.... I agree. I think it can be enlikened to the 'mob mentality' where you must conform or you, yourself, are ostracized.
The Botchtower creates disabled thinking, self-righteous, holier-than-thou, haughty, judgmental, angry people. When one builds oneself on this kind of foundation, there is only one outcome that can be come from this and that is destruction.
Destruction of happiness, health, self-esteem, joy, life, and families are the legacy of this organization.
As Outlaw says, the WTS creates graveyards of broken families.
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acolytes
Lou Bou to .Wow.... now thats a question, WHY DO PEOPLE SHUN, is it fear. mental ect ect.
The best way to answer this question is "Why do You Shun?"
I shun people that are bad association to me or my family, as i dont want them in my life. Do i refuse all communication with them, in some cases yes. For example i avoid all contact with some posters on this board.I shun some old friends and will never have communication with them again.
People delete friends from facebook.Why? They have reasons.
I think its a question of being responsible for our behaviour, NOT allowing an organisation to dictate who we shun.
Interesting being shunned by ex-friends on a personal level always saddend me, but i could accept and respect it.When a witness shunned me it made me angry.
I must say and i think iam lucky with this (I wasnt born in to the witnesses "Blush blush") but most of my witness friends havnt shunned me. Infact oftern they have been the ones to initiate a conversation when we meet on the street.
Acolytes
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nugget
Even as a witness I never shunned people in the JW sense. As we often sat in the back row as my son is autistic we often had Df'd people sit in the row with us. I always gave them a smile of encouragement. If I saw faders in the street I would stop and chat ask how they were doing. It always seemed to me that people were more likely to go somewhere where they were made welcome and where they could be sure that they would be forgiven rather than a place where they would forever be judged.
It seems that the cult can bring out the worst in you but to a certain extent you have to give them permission to take control of your soul. I feel sorry for thise easily led knowing that those who wake up will feel such dreadful guilt.
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undercover
I think for many shunning appeals to some witnesses. Feeds their self righteousness What do you think?
I think it does appeal to a limited number of self righteous ones. The key word being limited. I think the number that really adhere to the shunning edicts are in the minority. I think most JWs find a way to circumvent the system in their own way and through their own rationalization.
It was easy to "shun" a DFd person if you saw them in the grocery store...you just went down a different aisle and avoided eye contact. Hell, I do that when I see people I work with that I particularly don't want to interact with away from work. Of course the reasons are different...JW shunning is imposed by the WTS and you're just following orders but that type shunning isn't as big of an issue as shunning family or close friends that were DFd.
Only once did I truly shun someone who was close...and I did it at one of the lowest moments in their life. And I felt like shit for days afterwards. I finally reasoned, 'how can you feel so bad for doing what you're told is right?' I realized that it wasn't right. It wasn't Christian. And I swore from the moment forward to never do it again, despite the WT rules.
And I don't think I'm much different than the average person, JW or not. I think the average person, even indoctrinated by the JW cult, deep down feels the same way. It's just finding the resolve to buck the tide or to even question the doctrine. Even when they don't consciously debate the issue, they subconsciously find ways to work around it.
But then you get the few hardcore types that actually buy into the whole shunning thing. It gives them a feeling of superiority or righteousness that they couldn't otherwise achieve by not mis-treating others. The number of these is great enough, even though in the minority, to cause pain, anquish, anger and bitterness to those that suffer from the shunning. That's why these boards exist. Take away DFing and shunning and the JW cult is just another sect with quirky beliefs. If they couldn't punish you for free thinking or leaving the faith, the vast majority of us wouldn't look back as we walked out the door.
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Luo bou to
The Botchtower creates disabled thinking, self-righteous, holier-than-thou, haughty, judgmental, angry people. When one builds oneself on this kind of foundation, there is only one outcome that can be come from this and that is destruction.
So Heaven are you saying they are not responsible they can blame the Botchtower for their behaviour
I think its a question of being responsible for our behaviour, NOT allowing an organisation to dictate who we shun
Good point Acylotes Even so I doubt that you would be deliberatly rude to people you choose not to associate with when you met them in the street like so many witnesses do
We give them permission I was the same as you Nugget even had one around for dinner to encourage him back it always seemed so inhumane to me to treat them like dirt Now that I am on the receiving end I am convinced of it
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Luo bou to
Enjoyed your thoughts Undercover especially this one Only once did I truly shun someone who was close...and I did it at one of the lowest moments in their life. And I felt like shit for days afterwards
You felt responsible for behaviour you considered wrong Good for you
If they couldn't punish you for free thinking or leaving the faith, the vast majority of us wouldn't look back as we walked out the door.
The real reason Control To call it love is bullshit
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acolytes
lou bou to (how did you come up with that name?)......You said" Good point Acolytes. Even so I doubt that you would be deliberatly rude to people you choose not to asociate with when you met them in the street like so many witnesses do"
My answer is yes i would... And iam glad for it ... One case was a lady whose husband gave me the creeps. I said to my wife do not speak to her( She was with her creepy husband) My wife has a mind of her own and did... Ressult she agreed to see the lady for a social at ladies house. Result her husband came home was drunk and violent, the lady also turned out a little strange......my wife got off light. This man was later convicted for having killed 2 old people.
Acolytes
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Luo bou to
lou bou to (how did you come up with that name?)......
It's spelt wrong but it is how they say my name Robert in Chinese. A luo bou is a vegetable what we call a horse radish back home. I was teaching some children and as a joke complained about being named after a vegetable ..saying ...why can't you call me after a tiger or a dragon or something strong instead of a vegetable... when one sweet little darling spoke up and said.. but luo bou to ...luo bours are delicious Precious!
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acolytes
Robert...Try your horse radish with roast beef, roast potatos, English(colemans mustard) yorkshire pudding and a glass of red wine.
Acolytes