How Does Prayer Actually Work?

PublishingCult

Just how does prayer work, and how is prayer meant to get any kind of a result?

frigginconfused

Yes it works. But you have to know how to do it. Theres a bit more to it than the standard JW format.

frigginconfused

Oh. Sorry. I thought you asked if it works. Let me answer your real question.

How to pray and get results...

The answer to your prayers has always been there. Its sitting there waiting for you to dig it up like burried treasure. To access it it requires an honest and loving life. Once your spirit is free of clutter you will be open to receiving answers.

To get to that point you can pray as the JW's teach, because you arent clear enough to access Gods voice. With work, love, mercy, and self forgiveness you can get there.

PublishingCult

You sound friggin confused ;P

WTWizard

Prayer is a waste of time. It is supposed to be broken into 7 parts. The first three are for Jehovah's things, and of course they have the highest "weight". The other four are personal things, and if you assign much weight to them, you are "selfish" and "not really worthy of being answered".

The first three are for God's name to be sanctified, God's tyranny to come, and God's nefarious will to take place on earth. Of course, it would be completely stupid for God to not answer those prayers. But you are still supposed to ask for them, so God can get the hyperinflated point value out of answering them. This gives that Almighty Lowlife Scumbag a license to not answer the other 4 items. Which are your daily bread be supplied, your sins forgiven (of course, with the stipulation that you have to forgive others without condition), not to be led into temptation, and to be delivered from the wicked one (which actually is Jehovah himself, but he will not tell us that).

These last 4 items are not supposed to matter that much. God places the highest value on his own selfish interests. That way, he doesn't need to give us a damn thing, he can forever hold a grudge against us, lead us into temptation, and impose his own wickedness upon us--all of which are like "toilet paper dollars". The first three are supposed to have the highest denomination--comparable to platinum, gold, and silver. And, if by some weird chance a few "toilet paper dollars" do come along, you are supposed to give ALL the credit to Jehovah, even if you did all the work yourself or paid for it all yourself.

And, since God always answers things in his selfish interest, these "platinum, gold, and silver" items (which should be "stagnation, tyranny, and oppression" instead) always get answered. God never answers anything in our own personal interests, let alone giving us anything beyond bare necessities. Yet, he insists on always getting credit for the crumbs he lets us have. Which renders it a complete waste of time.

I wonder what would happen if someone prayed "Let your name get whatever praise OR SHAME you deserve, let your tyranny fail so we can have freedom, let OUR will take place (so long as it is not nefarious, ruining others' lives to enrich our own)||||Let us get filthy rich by creating huge amounts of wealth, striking "sins" that shouldn't even matter from your rulebook, stop creating the conditions that favor temptation by allowing us legitimate means to fulfill all our desire, and quit being wicked". That would benefit humans, but that Almighty Lowlife Scumbag would never answer it.

Aussie Oz

As a chanel to god, NOTHING DOING... he aint listening.

the only way it can work is as a self affirmation. In other words you speak what you hope for and this crystalizes in your mind and you go and make it happen.

same thing can be achieved by going to a shrink...

oz

SweetBabyCheezits

I have an idea based on this kid's plight...

A touching true story: Please help little Billy Evans.

My name is Billy Evans. I am a very sick little boy.

My mother is typing this for me, because I can't. She is crying. The reason she is so sad is because I'm so sick. I was born without a body.

It doesn't hurt, except when I try to breathe. The doctors gave me an artificial body. It is a burlap bag filled with leaves. The doctors said that was the best they could do on account of us having no money or insurance. I would like to have a body transplant, but we need more money.

Mommy doesn't work because she said nobody hires crying people. I said, "Don't cry, Mommy," and she hugged my burlap bag. Mommy always gives me hugs, even though she's allergic to burlap and it makes her sneeze and chafes her real bad.

I hope you will help me. You can help me if you forward this email to everyone you know. Forward it to people you don't know, too. Dr. Johansen said that for every person you forward this email to, Bill Gates will team up with AOL and send a nickel to NASA. With that funding, NASA will collect prayers from school children all over America and have the astronauts take them up into space so that the angels can hear them better. Then they will come back to earth and go to the Pope, and he will take up a collection in church and send all the money to the doctors. The doctors could help me get better then.

Maybe one day I will be able to play baseball. Right now I can only be third base.

Every time you forward this letter, the astronauts can take more prayers to the angels and my dream will be closer to coming true.

Please help me. Mommy is so sad, and I want a body. I don't want my leaves to rot before I turn ten. If you don't forward this email, that's okay. Mommy says you're a mean and heartless nasty person who doesn't care about a poor little boy with only a head. She says that if you don't stew in the raw pit of your own guilt-ridden stomach, she hopes you die a long slow horrible death and then burn forever in hell.

What kind of cruel person are you that you can't take five minutes to forward this to all your friends so that they can feel guilt and shame about ignoring a poor, bodiless nine-year-old boy?

Please help me. I try to be happy, but it's hard.

I wish I had a kitty.

I wish I could hold a kitty.

I wish I could hold a kitty that wouldn't chew on me and try to bury its poo in the leaves of my burlap body. I wish that very much.

Thank You,

Billy "Smiley" Evans

trevor

Prayer really does work. It is a form of self-hypnosis or auto-hypnosis. The power of positive thinking and all that Jazz.

Just sit quietly and tell yourself that today you are going to be calm, content and happy. You will achieve more that you expect at an emotional or practical level.

You will be helped by an invisible force. That will be your sub-conscious mind but if you want to give the credit to your god, that will work just as well.

Tell yourself again that, today you are going to be calm, content and happy. You will achieve more that you expect at an emotional or practical level.

Now say out loud - Today I am going to be calm, content and happy. I will achieve more that I expect at an emotional or practical level.

Amen

cyberjesus

there are 7 billion people in the world, lets just assume that of those only 1/4 of them pray daily at least once a day, thats 1.7 billion prayers a day, there are 86400 seconds per day.... so 1.7 billion prayers per day thats around 20000 prayers per second.... So Sky Daddy listens to 20000 prayers per second.

If you put in perspective.. a computer can process around 1 billion instructions per second... So if God has a small notebook running can process all the prayers in the world with one single computer...... I am sure he has a program to sort and process the requests...Give me health, give me happiness, help me with this problem, or that ....

Maybe soon we will be able to have an iphone app so we can submit a prayer everyminute... maybe God will now listen..

mindmelda

Done well, it's meditation, which actually does work if you get good at it.

Christians didn't invent prayer, people have always known how to alter their mental and even physical state through some sort of focusing ritual.

However, I find that the Buddhists do it best, simply because their rituals focus on it more.

I never experienced that transcendent mental state prayer claims until I went through a guided Buddhist meditation.

JW's pray for things I'm no longer interested in, except maybe wisdom. I'm not worried about "kingdoms" coming and gods and angels destroying the wicked so a group of cheap suit business men can run the world.

Wall Street is already doing that and look what a mess that is.

How Does Prayer Actually Work?

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