An old friend from in the JW's dad (who was a non-JW) committed suicide the other day. I've been trying to call him for days but he doesn't answer. Probably doesn't want to talk to someone "lawless and demon-infested". This JW was one of my best friends when i was back in the organization. Now he doesn't want anything to do with me. I found out what day the funeral service will be, this Tuesday. I'm wondering if I should even go. I would like to be supportive to their family because we were very close-knit before I left the JW's. I'm leaning towards going anyway but what do you all think about it?
Friends dad committed suicide...
by MrFreeze 16 Replies latest jw experiences
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Lozhasleft
We've just had a suicide in our family Mr Freeze...its very shocking and difficult to deal with. If you care about your friend and whats happened then I would say you should go...but dont expect much in the way of response if they're a JW family...and if that would hurt you then think carefully yea?
Loz x
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thetrueone
Don't go if thats his attitude, let the onus of his actions be placed directly upon him.
What should be considered though is now much of a personal relationship did you have with his father
and where will the funeral service be held.
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MrFreeze
I think I'm gonna try to be the bigger man and go anyway. Not to stick it to him but maybe me showing up will change his opinion of me.
I did like his dad though. He was always really nice to me and eventually got caught up in drugs, gambling, booze and eventually had an affair. His wife seperated from him about a year ago. He had a lot of problems to deal with and I'm not so sure he had any way out of the hole he was in other than the path he took. It saddens me greatly.
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EmptyInside
You have to do what you feel is best. If you decide not to attend,you can always send a thoughtful card.
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EmptyInside
I heard of one too many suicides of late,this is awful. There was a suicide in my congregation recently too.
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NVR2L8
Mr. Freeze,
How noble of you - lawless and demon-infested - to want to show love and compassion for a former friend who lost his father in such a tragic way...How strange on the other hand that "true" Christians would never do the same for you under the same circumstances. This shows the advantage of genuine love for your neighbor versus JW conditional love. Since the father was never a JW, the funeral service won't be at a Kingdom Hall and they may be several "non-witnesses" attending. So follow your heart and you will do what's right.
NVR2L8
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Giordano
Go because you want to.........make eye contact........ nod your head but don't approach him or the family.
Then leave....there's no point in listening to the advertishment.
Do this out of respect for yourself and because your not buying into the shunning BS.
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NewChapter
You don't really know why he isn't responding. His father just died, and he probably has A LOT of responsiblities and grief. I know when my mother died, I had no energy because of all the arrangements. When I would get home, I just needed to sit. He may not be avoiding your calls, just overwhelmed with the circumstances.
For some reason, when death is involved, a lot of JW's will soften on the shunning bit. You will only know if this is the case if you attend the funeral service. You have the option of leaving if it upsets him or you too much. Minimum, send a card and maybe flowers if they are accepting them. He needs to understand that you are not demonized and still have the grand capacity to love.
I'm sorry for your loss too. If he was your best friend, I'm sure you knew his father, even if it was only a little.
Take Care,
NC
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Gayle
I think it would be fine for you to go. It is in part being the better person. It is in respect for the person you knew, who was likable to you (before his trouble). It is a time to show a non-judgemental spirit on your part, and a genuine caring for a loss.