spoke to an old ex-jw friend , damaged goods ?

by man in black 15 Replies latest jw experiences

  • man in black
    man in black

    when I was a witness I was good friends with a recently baptized guy who was always trying to reach out to help, run the microphones, work behind the counter with the literature, attendant at the assemblies, etc.

    The BIG problem here was that he is a police office, has been one for over 30 years, so the org. would not allow him to do anything exept clean the toilets during assemblies .

    His wife and him divoriced ten years ago and he was df'ed. Since I left the religion two years ago, I called him and met him for dinner one afternoon last week.

    He went on and on about how strange his judicial hearing was, how nosey the elders were,how ridiculously "puffed up with self-importance" they were. So we talked on and on for about two hours regarding his df'ing experience. He has several children, none of them are witnesses. They have nothing to do with it.

    His ex wife is a pioneer, she doesn't work, she will not work ! but her son and ex husband send her money to pay the rent, ( kind of dysfunctional I think)

    Then he mentioned how he needed to get back INTO the jw religion.

    I backtracked and asked him why would you do this after what happened, and what a humiliating experience it was.

    His reply was " well I want people to attend my funeral when I die, that is really important to me".

    When I left my head was spinning like a gyroscope, what would make a once rational person think that in order to have people attend his funeral he needs to become a witness again,,.,. And no, he is not sick but he does smoke.

  • Satanus
    Satanus

    Some peoples' need to belong and need for respect is very great. His reaction is similar to the abuse kids go through in order to belong to a gang. The abuse comes from the gang that they are trying to join. Just because he's a police guy, doesn't mean that he's all growed up0; My sympathy is for him, as well.

    S

  • Scully
    Scully

    Every police officer who has died in my jurisdiction seems to get a TON of people attending their funeral, more than the average person at least.

    I wonder why he wouldn't attend a church that his children would go to? At least then he'd have the people he loves the most, along with his colleagues, in attendance. I also have to wonder why on earth is he concerned about his funeral... does he know something that he isn't talking about?

    Personally, when I go, I will be cremated and there will not be announcements or a lot of fanfare. I have not been one to seek out being the centre of attention and I don't want to be the centre of attention when I die.

  • Ding
    Ding

    I wonder why it's important for him to have people attend his funeral.

    If the WTS doctrine is true, then he will no longer exist.

    So it's his HOPE that they will remember him that's important to him.

    You might suggest that he develop friendships through other organizations or activities so the people who remember him will remember him for who he really is, not for some cult persona.

  • mamalove
    mamalove

    I think the reason his funeral is important to him is because he is a policeman. The funerals of men in service are normally very well covered by the media if they are killed in the line of duty especially. If no one was at his funeral, I wonder if he feels that people will think badly of him? I am sure colleagues would at least be there, right?

    Very sad. He probably is still under some influence. Nice of you to hang out with him for that time.

  • cantleave
    cantleave

    I have been to some very poorly attended JW funeral infomercials. They only come in big numbers if you were "important" or well connected.

  • Lunatic Faith
    Lunatic Faith

    Omg, thanks for posting this story. I have actually been thinking this same thing. Once I got over the disappointment of not seeing my parents in a resurrection, or living forever, the one thing I still obsess about is: where will my funeral be held, who will officiate, and will anybody come? I am very well known in the area I grew up and have fancied I would have a well attended funeral, but I was surprised my dad's wasn't better attended last November. I mean, all the important people came but I guess I expected more. The whole talk was about his long years of faithful service and the legacy he left in his children and grandchildren. I worry, if I die, I will be buried in some cold mortuary home, with only a few people present and some stranger offering my eulogy.

  • Violia
    Violia

    My mothers funeral was poorly attended. It was a get back at me. I felt bad for my mom ,years of serving Jehovah and the faithful bros. diss her funeral b/c they think I'm an apostate ( which I was not at that time). it is the ultimate get even with you. To them I say F**K You.

    I only want those who love me and really care about me to be at my memorial. If that is just my family, then so be it. I too just plan on cremation and hope my family will have a private service, maybe in our home. There are all kinds of ways to have a funeral other than the traditional.

    Poor man, worrying about his funeral. Jws are just the most evil bunch of malcontents on this earth.

  • GrandmaJones
    GrandmaJones

    I don't care at all if anyone attends my funeral. Hey, if I am lucky like my aunt, I'll enjoy good health and old age. Everyone she knew well was long dead when she passed away. I hope that happens for me!

    I certainly don't want any witness funeral. No more propaganda....

  • Satanus
    Satanus

    I don't expect anyone at my funeral,,, or a funeral. It's unlikely that i'll be there. So, why should i care? Since my exit, it's likely that all kinds of stories about why i left and my life since then have been passed around among my exfriends, exfamily and exaquaintences. A funeral would be just another opportunity for more stories to be told.

    S

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