Local Elder advises Young woman to make up with abusive husband

troubled mind

Just never ceases to amaze me how things in the organization stay the same . You would think by 2011 these guys could come up with something better than " makeup now ,you know Jehovah hates a divorcing !" ( but obviously he doesn't mind a woman being abused !) geniuses....

This young wife was pushed down a flight of stairs by her JW husband ... this is not the first time abuse has occured . Her JW family has finally had enough and support her leaving . Yet here comes a YOUNG wet behind the ears Elder advising her to work it out !

My thoughts would have been to tell him to mind his own business . Or at least have him ponder the implications that could be heaped upon him ,IF she went back and next time she was hurt so badly she died ......how would he feel being partial to blame ?

I just have lost patience with ignorrant advice extolled by untrained Elders .

ShirleyW

I'm sure this must be an isolated experience for the JDubs, but in my old cong, since pushing down the stairs is mentioned in the post above, that happened to a sister, and believe it or not they did advise she get away from him, a minsterial servant at that ! Like I said must've been one of the few times they told a sister to get out of the situation!

aSphereisnotaCircle

Countless elders give stunningly ignorant advice every day.

A good friend of mine who got a good beating from her husband was advised, "whatever you did that made him beat you, dont do that again".

Another friend who indured 25 years in a horrible marraige was told repeatedly by the elders that she must stick with him and work it out. When she finally called it quits and walked out on her husband, one of the elders that told her repeatedly that she must stay asked her "what took you so long?"

They are poorly educated men who parrot rules made by a disfunctional organization that has a very distorted view of human nature.

My cat can give better advice then they can.

sabastious

Overly prolonged marriages, due to the Bible's view on divorce, are a blight on this world. Miserable people don't make good parents and they don't make good marriage mates. I'm an advocate of finding a mate for life, but not at any cost. I watched my parents fight tooth and nail for years upon years. It wasn't good for my development and frankly I am still dealing with weird problems do to watching it all the time. If they didn't have the divorce taboo in their life they would have ended it and everyone would have been better off because of it.

Religious fundamentalism is at the very heart of this problem.

-Sab

skeeter1

And, the Jehovah's Witnesses don't believe in war becuase..... it's violence against another human.

If a brother merely enlisted for the U.S. armed forces, without even hitting someone.....or took a job in with a defense contractor as an office worker.....what kind of talking would the elders give the brother? But, when a brother brutilzes his family, the elders cheer him on! Hypocrites.

blondie

I wonder if anyone talked to the jw husband about his behavior and how it could lead to removal of privileges................

sabastious

If a brother merely enlisted for the U.S. armed forces, without even hitting someone.....or took a job in with a defense contractor as an office worker.....what kind of talking would the elders give the brother? But, when a brother brutilzes his family, the elders cheer him on! Hypocrites.

Amazing point, I am going to have to remember it.

-Sab

jamiebowers

This doesn't surprise me one bit. I got the same advice from elders 20+ years ago. After suffering for close to seven years, I chose to ignore their advice. When I also absolutely refused to stalk my mentally unhinged jw husband to see if he would choose to commit adultery or murder and offered to da, I was told that I'd be df'd. Apparently that wasn't sufficient grounds to df me, so the elders used my mom to hound me, because my crazy jw husband wanted to remarry. I made, what was at the time, a false confession of adultery just to keep him from having one bit of influence over my life.

That young woman needs to run as fast and as far away from him and the corrupt Watchtower as she can. His influence over her life will never end until she does. I hope this wakes up her jw family too. It didn't mine, but it was screwed up for years before I was df'd.

TotallyADD

Right on jamiebowers. Run and Run like hell. Abusive husbands are all to common in JW land. When it comes to elders they are not trained to take care of these matters. In fact alot of elders love the idea of that kind of control over women. I saw it all to often. Can't begin to tell you how many times we had abused wive's at our house to protect them from their elder husbands. But like the other elders I had no training to really help them. All I knew was they needed to get away from these idiots. One husband ended up killing his unborn child because of the beating he put on his wife. I am so sorry you went through that. It just makes me sick to hear about these things. Reason number 2 why I hate this cult. With sorrow Totally ADD.

White Dove

Got the same advice 20+ years ago when I was married for 7 years.

Finally, I did the research that was needed and took the whole pile and the elders in a back room.

Yes, you heard me right. I took THEM into the back room and informed them of my decision and showed them the proof that I was right.

I spoke with confidence and authority.

They accepted it.

Local Elder advises Young woman to make up with abusive husband

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