I like my dads solution. When he was a young elder, giving the public talk @ an out of town cong., he saw a childhood friend who was battered and bruised. Between the talk and WT study, he took her husband outside and kicked his ass, told him he was taking the wife back to her family, and not to come to get her, or else.
Local Elder advises Young woman to make up with abusive husband
by troubled mind 21 Replies latest jw friends
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jamiebowers
Thanks, TotallyADD! Avishai, it's too bad there aren't more elders like that!
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LV101
i hate this cult and it's losers, also. this country and the freedom these cults have --- society should be ashamed what goes on and how innocent people are maimed by this woman-hater club!! if anyone should be watched and regulated it should be watchtower and it has to be the worse religion after scientology and i'm not sure about that! where are the good ole boys spying around on their bros in this cult as to how they care/treat their families. ahhh, that's right, it's ok. i attended a hall where a PO used to punch his wife in the face and give her black eyes. she finally divorced the loser and he couldn't even visit his boys in another state w/out a child protective agent/monitor in the room and this loser was quite popular among the good ole boys and "friends" in area.
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jam
Today if their is someone I know personally who is being physically abused,
a child or A woman, I will inform the authority. This is our responsibility. How
would you feel if the abuse end in death. I knew a few elders that was abusive,
they are the last ones to go too for help, (protect their own).
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DanaBug
It's all about appearances. A divorce is harder to hide than bruises. Just dug up some old articles on women, head coverings, and teaching. BLECH! So happy to be out. So glad I don't have to raise my daughter in that mysogynistic, lie-down-and-take-it bullshit!
Jamie, I'm sorry you went through that. It makes absolutely no sense to stay in an abusive marriage. People who advise that lack common sense and empathy. Another way they ruin lives and families.
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I quit!
My advice to JW women: Once violence starts and nothing is done about it it tends to escalate because the abuser now know that they can get away with it. Sometimes the woman may wind up severly injured or dead. Once someone phyically attacks you I don't see any reason to stay with them. Get the hell out of the situation and tell the moron elders that you are reporting the incident to the police. They should back you on that or you should get them the hell out of your life also.
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WTWizard
First, why is there so much of this crap going on in the first place? Obviously, a couple don't get together planning on abusing each other--something has to happen to get to this point. Often, it is the continual stagnation that results when people are forced to reject all self-improvement opportunities for pio-sneering. They are urged to pio-sneer together. That prevents them from improving and growing together, which as often as not leads to this abuse. Even when abuse doesn't happen, the couple grow apart because Jehovah puts himself between them.
And, why they don't allow divorce with the view of remarriage for cases of severe abuse (of any kind, either of the spouse or the children), willful non-support of the family, or blatant wastes of resources that puts them behind in bills. Blatant wastes of resources would include entertainment beyond their means, gambling beyond their means, wasteful habits that are draining huge amounts of money and not leaving sufficient to live on, and wasting all that gas and money pio-sneering while they don't have the money for living expenses. And, if they don't have enough to pay the rent, they shouldn't be putting $20 bills or silver coins into the Worldwide Pedophile Defense Fund.
Of course the Filthful and Disgraceful Slavebugger will never do that. They want to keep the structure that leads to such abuse (including tight time schedules that result in stress), while trapping people in loveless marriages. If they seek out, they are bound to get disfellowshipped and threatened with death and destruction. No growing together, no splitting--and they wonder why their donations are shrinking.
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keyser soze
We had a woman in our congregation who was 'encouraged' to go back to her abusive husband. One of the elders doing the encouraging was her own brother. She suffered more abuse after going back.
Finally he was df'd, and she left him for good after he committed adultery, after which she was informed that she was free to remarry. Such a loving organization.
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snakeface
One congregation I was, this one elder and his wife always sat in the front row. He'd always walk with his arm around her; I thought it was romantic. After they moved away I found out he was always beating her. The reason he'd walk with his arm around her was because she was in so much pain and could hardly stand up. I guess they sat up front to hide her face. It seemed that many in the congregation knew about this yet they'd all sit and listen to his public talks and the congregation would accept field service reports from him. I told the elder body the whole congregation is LUCKY I did not know about this because if I had, our congregation would have been on the news!
A few years later, when I was a MS, I was in a car group with elders and another MS. The elders were talking (and laughing!) about one particular couple who recently moved in to the territory. We all knew the husband was wacko. The elders were saying the wife had come to them to report abuse and that the husband threatened her with a pair of scissors. They elders had told her that was because she talks too much, and she should shut up and let the husband talk. (then they giggled) I asked the elders if they showed the husband the scriptures that say "Husbands ought to be loving their wives as their own bodies," and, "become imitators of Christ". I also asked them if the GB has provided guidelines on what the elders and MS should do if a brother ends up violently killing his wife and the media comes to the Hall with TV cameras to question the elders on the matter.
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GrandmaJones
This kind of situation just makes me sick. Why aren't her friends telling her to leave? Leave!