Millions--Great video. The Christmas tree was a nice touch. LOL
The points you addressed in the video were thoughts I had when I started my fade, although I didn't realize I was actually fading yet.
A CO talked about the Tsunami that hit SE Asia. He said that local witnesses had gone inland for service and were saved. The only witnesses killed had been a Swedish couple on vacation. He said that should be a lesson for us. I was so incredibly enraged by such a comment, I couldn't let it go. I asked others if the lesson was that we shouldn't go on vacation and sleep in with our husbands/wives. Blank f**king looks. I told them that I knew someone that had died in a car accident while working in service, perhaps that too should be a lesson. Startled looks.
Elders would stop by to "encourage" me, and I'd ask them: why if I shouldn't blame jehovah for bad things, should I thank him for the good? If I shouldn't expect answers to my prayers, why should I be grateful when they were answered? Perhaps they aren't being answered at all, and things just worked out this time. Blank looks.
So you can see, I really appreciated that video!
Even on the days where you are gripped by fear that it might be true and that you have got it wrong, it is a very quick transition to telling yourself not to be stupid and that it's the old conditioning surfacing again.
I really hate that part! Yet I deal with it like you do. I also think that I don't believe in an afterlife anymore--or resurrection---or any of it. So if it turns out to be true--no biggie--I'm expecting to die anyway.
