I've heard it said that often the big fellas think it's enough just to be big. Women prefer skills over big and wham bam thank you maam.
The secret things men hate about being men
by FlyingHighNow 129 Replies latest jw friends
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sooner7nc
Actually Ol' Bill got plenty of action back in the day, it's just that he set his standards extremely, extremely, extremely low.
Most of his gals that I've known were pork chop gals...you know the kind where you have to tie a pork chop around their neck to get the dog to play with them. A hideous lot they where, nothing like the wonderful and cultured beauties we have on this site. That's actually the first serious thing I've said on this thread. Nope sorry, the second because Big Bill really did say that...and live it.
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FlyingHighNow
Bad sex is bad sex. Even a pork chop girl's gotta get something out of it or she won't ask for it again. Unless maybe big bill told her she was the girl of his dreams and snowed his way into her pants in the first place.
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sooner7nc
That's probably why Big Bill went through so many.
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FlyingHighNow
I've heard more men worry about size than women. It matters to some, it matters not to others. It's just one of the pressures men endure like women worrying about their weight or bra size.
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sooner7nc
Very true.
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VampireDCLXV
Have to shave everyday or they look like Miami Vice wannabe's.
This one is a conundrum for me: My skin is very sensitive to razor burn so shaving everyday isn't always possible. I know it's what the ladies dig though.
On the other hand, I once tried growing a beard when I was younger but that didn't look good at all because my beard is so tight and curly, it would look like a beaver pelt glued to my face!Have to register for the draft.
Not in Canada!
Have to keep up that macho image for their buds.
I'm so used to being the oddball that I just don't give a s**t about being macho! I'm just me. If other guys don't like it, they can shove it!
Have to pretend to love beer.
I don't have to pretend anything there. I DO love beer. Everyone in my family does, little sisters included. My Dad would give us kids small swigs of it when we were little.
To them, size is an important issue. Their brains get twisted in knots wondering if it matters to women.
I used to wonder what the AVERAGE really was. Now that I know what it is and that my package is average, I'm not so worried.
"It's not ho deep you fish, it's how you wiggle your worm!"Need little blue pills. 40% of men need them after 40 and over 70% need them from 70 on and for some the blamed pills dont' work for them at all.
Not applicable! I'm not in my 40's yet and I don't see any other major health problems coming. I'm not even balding. I guess I come from good stock.
Blue pills cost at least ten dollars a piece.
Yikes! I doubt I'll ever need 'em. If I ever do, I'm sure they'll be a lot cheaper by then.
Men: don't get the credit they deserve for being class A nags. Poor fellas. Think governing body and elders, the champions of the art of nagging.
Maybe I'm a little bit guilty of that. I did grown up being around women a lot though. I have a lot of women friends too. (Bad influence?)
Men: they get stuck with wives who just never, ever can cook, clean, or bail them out of trouble like their mommies.
Not applicable. However: I learned a long time ago that no woman is going to be exactly like Mom. It just doesn't happen! Men just have to accept and appreciate women for who and what they are. I never expected my mom to bail me out of anything and she wouldn't do it anyway.
Men: neck ties.
I have no problem with that. I never complained about wearing full suits on hot days either. Honest!
They are too proud to ask for directions so they spend 2 years, 45 days, 7.5 hours, 20 seconds driving around lost during their life times.
I have asked on very rare occasions BUT I really am good at figuring things out myself. I am a good navigator. Honest! GPS isn't foolproof but it makes things easier.
They are not allowed to cry, dammit. Not even when they slam their fingers in the car door. The only time it is okay for men to cry is when their hound dogs die.
I'll agree that this is unfortunate. I will say that ALL grownups of either gender SHOULD have self restraint in this regard anyway BUT guys should be given a little more leeway in this than they actually receive.
They cannot have tea cup toy poodles with pink toenails, pink ear bows and pierced ears riding around in their pockets. They especially cannot name them Fifi or Chiffon.
Perhaps guys are forced to be a little too uptight when it comes to gender stereotypes of this nature, but sorry, I don't think the distinction between genders should become too blurry here. If a guy does do something like the above, he will rightfully have his masculinity and sexual orientation put into question!
Have to button the top button on dress shirts.
If I'm wearing a tie, i don't see an issue with this.
Have to pretend they don't love quiche.
I'm kinda undecided about this one...
Have to pretend they come from Mars.
I'm such an oddity, I might as well be from Neptune and I make no bones about it...
Have to pretend they don't watch Hallmark Channel and Oprah.
Maybe...
Have to pretend they hate Nanci Pelosi and that they love Sarah Palin.
Gee guys! Who would you rather sleep with?
Can get woody at the most inconvenient times.
Is this even disputable?
Don't women get periods, cramps and bloating at inopportune times as well?V665
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FlyingHighNow
Woodies are embarrassing for different reasons. Did you see Anchorman? This isn't Anchorman, but it's pretty funny.
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Lady Lee
First I can't believe I read all of this thread. Second - I'm not going to lock it
and third
I can't believe no one said this:
They hate having their junk out where it can get kicked or sat on or crushed on a bike's crossbar. It can be dangerous hanging out there
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ColdRedRain
Thank god I'm now gay because I don't really have to deal with women's flawed perceptions of men again after a month and a few days from now.
>Men:
>Have to shave everyday or they look like Miami Vice wannabe's.
Who needs to shave? Grow it like a rabbi.
>Have to register for the draft.
The draft is not likely to ever come back, and even if it does, we'll become national heroes. BTW, thanks to Obama, I can serve in the military! Woohoo!
>Have to keep up that macho image for their buds.
You're either born macho or you're not.
>Have to pretend to love beer.
Real men drink whiskey.
>To them, size is an important issue. Their brains get twisted in knots wondering if it matters to women.
Only if you believe that women are worth the trouble.
>Need little blue pills. 40% of men need them after 40 and over 70% need them from 70 on and for some the blamed pills dont' work for them at all.
Again, not an issue if you go your own way as a man.
>Blue pills cost at least ten dollars a piece.
But a crapload of coffee does the same trick for a lot less.
>Men: don't get the credit they deserve for being class A nags. Poor fellas. Think governing body and elders, the champions of the art of nagging.
>Men: they get stuck with wives who just never, ever can cook, clean, or bail them out of trouble like their mommies.
Men get stuck with wives who can't cook, clean or keep themselves out of trouble like their mommies.
>Men: neck ties.
Women: Garters
>They are too proud to ask for directions so they spend 2 years, 45 days, 7.5 hours, 20 seconds driving around lost during their life times.
That's because we always have a woman nagging us so much that they make us forget where we are.
>They are not allowed to cry, dammit. Not even when they slam their fingers in the car door. The only time it is okay for men to cry is when their hound dogs die.
We cry when our favorite team loses in the championship.
>They cannot have tea cup toy poodles with pink toenails, pink ear bows and pierced ears riding around in their pockets. They especially cannot name them Fifi or Chiffon.
Umm... why would you want one in the first place?
>Have to button the top button on dress shirts.
No we don't.
>Have to pretend they don't love quiche.
We love anything our wives bake for us.
>Have to pretend they come from Mars.
Women are from another solar system.
>Have to pretend they don't watch Hallmark Channel and Oprah.
You have to PRETEND not to like Orca or the Hallmark channel?
>Have to pretend they hate Nanci Pelosi and that they love Sarah Palin.
You have to pretend to love the wicked witch of the west?
>Can get woody at the most inconvenient times.
It's only inconvienent when you're not proud of it.
