The secret things men hate about being men (page 7)

FlyingHighNow

I don't think it's funny at all when I see men with sagging boobies. It makes me feel kinda sad for them.

bohm

I have another joke.

Its two assholes having a conversation, and one says: "Saggy tits. Now THAT'S funny!".

Scooby-Doo

Have to shave everyday or they look like Miami Vice wannabe's.

You're absolutely right, shaving is a bitch.

Have to register for the draft.

Not in my country, and if i was then i'd be locked up. I'm not killing anyone.

Have to pretend to love beer.

I hate the stuff. Tried it once, it was like drinking bitter ass. Never again!

To them, size is an important issue. Their brains get twisted in knots wondering if it matters to women.

Eh, i'm cool with my size.

Men: don't get the credit they deserve for being class A nags. Poor fellas. Think governing body and elders, the champions of the art of nagging.

Sure, i can be a nag sometimes.

They are not allowed to cry, dammit. Not even when they slam their fingers in the car door. The only time it is okay for men to cry is when their hound dogs die.

I cry sometimes. I'm not overly emotional but if i'm really hurt or sad then yeah, i'll cry.

They cannot have tea cup toy poodles with pink toenails, pink ear bows and pierced ears riding around in their pockets. They especially cannot name them Fifi or Chiffon.

Okay, first of all. People actually pierce their dogs ears? WTF?

I have 2 little dogs. I don't paint their nails, force them to wear bows and carry them in my pockets. I don't really see the point.

They wear clothes in cold weather, otherwise they shake. One wears pink/girly clothes because they match her personality and the other wears army/camo clothes because she's a harcore butch lesbian. (There's another stereotype for ya )

Have to button the top button on dress shirts.

Never.

Have to pretend they come from Mars.

I come from Earth...

Have to pretend they don't watch Hallmark Channel and Oprah.

Never watched Hallmark Channel, we don't have it in my country.

I do watch Oprah though, if the episode is about something interesting. Which it usually isn't.

Have to pretend they hate Nanci Pelosi and that they love Sarah Palin.

I have no idea who Nanci Pelosi is and Sarah Palin is a douche.

Can get woody at the most inconvenient times.

True.

The rest don't really apply to me.

FlyingHighNow

bohm, I take it you authored that one.

sooner7nc

Have to shave everyday or they look like Miami Vice wannabe's. Actually I look more like Grizzly Adams but you're technically correct.

Have to register for the draft. Scared me when I was 18, Dad served time for the JW's during Vietnam after all.

Have to keep up that macho image for their buds. I'm naturally macho so I don't have to keep it up, it's just is.

Have to pretend to love beer. I loved beer from the first time I snuck a sip of warm Coors Light.

To them, size is an important issue. Their brains get twisted in knots wondering if it matters to women. After worrying about it as a teenager and 20 something, I've finally started to follow the sage advice of my friend Big Bill who said, and I paraphrase, "Who gives a shit if it's big enough for'em? As long as I'm gettin' off it's big enough."

Need little blue pills. 40% of men need them after 40 and over 70% need them from 70 on and for some the blamed pills dont' work for them at all. Don't need'em and won't worry about it until I do.

Blue pills cost at least ten dollars a piece. See above.

Men: don't get the credit they deserve for being class A nags. Poor fellas. Think governing body and elders, the champions of the art of nagging. Yeah, I'm a naggin' asshole when the mood strikes.

Men: they get stuck with wives who just never, ever can cook, clean, or bail them out of trouble like their mommies. Not me. My wife and mother are a pair of angels sent to earth to look after me...until they piss me off.

Men: neck ties. I never wear them anymore so I'm neither here nor there.

They are too proud to ask for directions so they spend 2 years, 45 days, 7.5 hours, 20 seconds driving around lost during their life times.

I do not get lost.

They are not allowed to cry, dammit. Not even when they slam their fingers in the car door. The only time it is okay for men to cry is when their hound dogs die. I cry whenever I feel the need to. Sometimes it's often and sometimes it's infrequent.

They cannot have tea cup toy poodles with pink toenails, pink ear bows and pierced ears riding around in their pockets. They especially cannot name them Fifi or Chiffon. Poodles suck. Chihuahuas on the other hand are wonderful dogs. Also Boston Terriers, Pugs, etc.

Have to button the top button on dress shirts. See ties

Have to pretend they don't love quiche. Don't remember ever having quiche but if it doesn't taste like dogshit, I'll probably eat it and like it.

Have to pretend they come from Mars. Actually, knowing the history of humans, I think the god of war should be called Earth not Mars.

Have to pretend they don't watch Hallmark Channel and Oprah. Don't have to pretend.

Have to pretend they hate Nanci Pelosi and that they love Sarah Palin. I don't like or trust either of these train wrecks but the one difference is that I wouldn't nail Pelosi but Palin on the other hand...

Can get woody at the most inconvenient times. You hit this one on the head FHN

This was very entertaining FHN.

The secret things men hate about being men

FlyingHighNow

Iron Head

bohm

Scooby-Doo

FlyingHighNow

sooner7nc

bohm

Violia

sooner7nc

FlyingHighNow

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