Two elders visited me today... (page 2)

nugget

You handled it the best way, it looks like you are on the radar and they will either step up the encouragement or leave things be.They are after all shepherding the flock and no visit would be amiss, is there a CO visit coming up? Elders do like to do the rounds so they can report positively to the CO.

BluesBrother

Best wishes, NVR2L8, It seems to have gone as well as it could have done. You are correct in not opening up to them. Be prepared to keep stalling and non comittal if they ever ask the big Question "Do you still wish to be known as a J W?"

This experience is hard for your wife too. She has to get used to standing alone as a J W and being a "Spritual widow" is not easy - I know since Sister Blues has a few problems. She says the elders treat her different to when she was an elders wife.

I have been allowed to sit in limbo for 12 years , technically an inactive one...Lets hope that your B O E are minded the same.

NVR2L8

Thank you all for your comments. As much as I want to make as few waves as possible, I also want my wife to stop wasting her life in the cult. I sometimes wonder how she would react if the elders viewed me as an enemy, kicking me out of the congregation, especially since I haven't tried to influence others, only voicing my concerns to her and my unbaptized adult son. Would the love I have for her and my family weigh enough to tip the scale of loyalty in my favour or would the love bombing prevent her from seeing that the congregation's judicial action has nothing to do with love? I guess for now I have to wait and see how the elders will view my refusal to discuss anything with them...

NVR2L8

Nugget,

I have no idea if the CO is coming soon or not...I never ask news about the congregation. I had a hunch they would be coming since the morning before the COBOE was doing door to door work on our street and I saw him walking up our neighbor's driveway as I was driving out of our garage...I ignored him but my wife waved. I was surprised that he wasn't one of the two who visited the next day. He and I have had long conversations in the past and we enjoyed each others company but I never got a phone call or a private visit from any of my "good" friends since I stopped going to the meetings. Don't get me wrong, I prefer it this way, but it just goes to say that their love is only superficial.

NVR2L8

Mad Sweeney

Then they mentionned that they miss me at the meetings and asked what they could do to help me come back to the Kingdom Hall.

...

I never got a phone call or a private visit from any of my "good" friends since I stopped going to the meetings. Don't get me wrong, I prefer it this way, but it just goes to say that their love is only superficial.

This is typical. They don't miss your friendship or your personality; they miss your attendance at their indoctrination sessions. I got the same crap for awhile when I quit 'em but I've moved on and have real friends now.

You handled it well. Good luck handling them further in the future.

sabastious

Sounds like you are a pro, great job.

-Sab

OnTheWayOut

Thank you all for your comments. As much as I want to make as few waves as possible, I also want my wife to stop wasting her life in the cult. I sometimes wonder how she would react if the elders viewed me as an enemy, kicking me out of the congregation,

....Would the love I have for her ... weigh enough to tip the scale of loyalty in my favour or would the love bombing prevent her from seeing that the congregation's judicial action has nothing to do with love?

I can totally relate to that. My wife is proving more and more that she can be loyal to me beyond the congregation's demands. But cult rules rear their ugly heads in strange ways at WT studies, C.O. talks, conventions. I never know when they will pull too hard in just the wrong way to get her out of the WTS or to make her loyalty sway toward them.

NVR2L8

OTWO,

May I ask: as it been long since you left the "truth" and has your wife allowed you to explain why you no longer go along with the WT? I ask because since I stopped 8 months ago my wife seem more zealous for service and meeting attendance and she won't hear anything of the reasons being my loss of faith...

punkofnice

@NVR2L8

I'm the same as you. I'm out and wife in and even more zealous since I left!!

I told the elders not to call, not to bother me and if they do call it's just for a chat but not about religion or the watchtower.

I am cautious with my actions and words as I don't wish to make life difficult for the wife. (A small beheading methinks compared to the freedom I now feel)

Mary

They said they understood, shook my hand and said their goodbyes.

Sometimes you luck out and get a decent elder body who will just leave you alone. That's what happened to me.

Two elders visited me today...

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