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Norcal_Sun

Hello everyone. I joined this forum a while ago and am mostly a lurker these days, don't have much time to post. But I have a conundrum I need some help with.

I have mostly successfully faded from the organization, and I was a witness my whole life. My mom is a devout JW and I still see people here and there who I basically grew up with because they are family friends. When they talk dub, I am polite to them about it and don't say much. Most of those people don't know how I really feel, obviously.

My attitude towards the witnesses (individually) is not one of animosity. While I know that I will never be able to have close friends who are JWs, there are some people who I would like to see once in a while. Some of my old friends are on facebook and have asked to go out for coffee or to meet my one year old son. This puts me in a pickle, because they aren't in my congregation and they don't know I haven't been to meetings in like 2 years and don't plan on going back.

So here is my question for the faders: how do you answer when someone asks you about your theocratic activity? Like, what hall are you in, etc? I am having trouble figuring out what to say. These people are definitely not going to be a big part of my life and haven't been for a while. I don't want to get into it with them. I am interested in any and all viewpoints.

Thanks!

RubaDub

Rub a Dub

Quentin

Dub a Rub....

Quentin

NS....somebody'll come along with some good suggestions...my paain killer has kicked in so can't be off te much for several hrs...hang tight......

compound complex

Greetings, Norcal_Sun:

Welcome and congratulations for going from lurker to poster. I've been lurking for 2 weeks and felt the need to begin posting today.

I have been fading for many years despite a recent change - a "180" - in my "theocratic" stance. I simply used to say that I'm in XXXX Congregation, as that's the hall where my card still is. If we got into a discuusion about spiritual activities, I'd have no trouble talking about (past) service, meeting, publications.

Due to a protracted illness, any questions regarding my status were fielded with my saying that I was sick and explaining the consequent difficulty coping with anything beyond the need to work while ill.

You situation is different, of course, but you can generally say as much or as little as you wish and go on to another subject.

Wishing you the best,

CoCo

AudeSapere

I inadvertently fell into a nice fade.

I bought a home and moved out of territory but kept going to my original hall. People forgot about me because I lived 'so far' away - 5 miles. I did miss a few meeting because work kept me busy. Then a few times I went to the hall in the territory where my house was located. Sometimes I would visit my parents hall (30 miles in opposite direction).

Then I started to feel out-of-sorts in my original cong so I attended the hall near my office a few times.

When people asked, I could honestly say that I was busy and actually attending a few different places. And it got easier to miss more meetings.

One day - I think it was a Sunday meeting - I got up from my seat and just walked out of the hall during a talk by one of the elders and haven't been back since.

I ran in to my old witness friends less and less. For some I would just say I was 'here and there'. Others I would honestly say that I hadn't been for the past few weeks (months) citing illness, fatigue, work, etc.

Two years ago was the last time I ran into a JW elder friend. He asked about my cong and I told him I wasn't going anywhere. Hadn't been in a long time. Turns out that his son had been killed in an auto accident the year prior so we mostly talked about that.

No visits, no inquiries. I don't go into details with them and they don't ask me to many questions. And when I answer, I am vague and little evasive - but happy!

There were just two instances where I got on someone's radar. One was someone who called on my from the hall where my house was in the new territory. We had a few nice conversations and I opening up to her a little. Then she brought the CO's wife on an RV and the woman was presumptive, dismissive and judgemental. I never answered the door again.

The other time was when I was in the hospital and was called on by an elder whom I did not know. I wrote about it on JWD. I dodged his questions about whether or not I still considered myself a JW. Never heard from him or anyone else again.

My publisher record cards are still with my original west-coast congregation.

Not sure if any of my story helps, but thought I'd relate a bits again for you.

-Aude.

Quentin

Hi CoCo...good to see ya out and about...

excuse my rudness Norcal_Sun for not doing so in mine previous post, WELLCOME...will ty to kep you topic close to top as possible so it get noticed...also please exuse my ramble got put back on morphine makes tha ol brain a litle foggy till you get aclimated to it....

compound complex

Hi Quentin:

Thanks - good to be back. Take care of yourself!

CoCo

Norcal_Sun

well I am a moron and forgot to put a topic!! I thank you all for clicking on it, anyway! I am afraid it won't get much attention since there is no topic title, should I repost?

compound complex

Hi NC:

You can contact a mod to insert a title. I think they'd be willing to help out ...

CC

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