And what if you get invited to a meeting?
Just say: "Thank you. We'll see." or "Thank you. I'll keep it in mind." and smile.
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by Norcal_Sun 26 Replies latest jw friends
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AudeSapere
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VampireDCLXV
I myself tend to just cut the discussion short wth anybody and everybody who I know to be in my old congregation. I don't get into any chitchat at all. I just tell them that I'm late, that I'm in a rush, that I'm busy, etc, and then I quickly take my leave. I simply don't give them the time of day. That's just me though...
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Giordano
Norcal Sun
I agree with those who do a fade slow or fast, with dignity. It's your right to step away from something that you know is no longer a belief system you want to be a part of. Witness thinking is very twisted. Good and decent people believe that you and your child are going to die at Armageddon. Or that their children will not get a life saving transfusion if needed. Or that higher education is a waste of time. You have moved past that you now need to find people who are excited about life and all of the opportunities that are possible away from the witness world.
You have a different reality now and that means you are different to them as they are to you.
I went through that process over forty years ago and within the first year of leaving there wasn't a single friend who was interested in my company if they couldn't count time. And to be perfectly honest I couldn't understand why they believed as they did. Listening to them repeat the tenets of their faith and try to sell me on their beliefs made it impossible to look forward to their company on a social basis.
Time to make new friends.
Meeting attendance: Aude had some good ideas. Pretending to visit another congregation here and there is a good way to use misdirection.
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CoonDawg
I honestly just told them that I was having a crisis of faith and needed time to sort things out, that it caused me depression, etc. No one wants to get their hands dirty so they leave me alone. Of course, that was some time ago. I've been "faded" for about the last 14 years or so.
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will_the_apostate
tell them you have developed social anxiety and have a hard time around groups of people. or just be honest most wont pry when taken off guard and just talk about your child.
ps welcome NS and congrats on your child 1yo is a great time
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satinka
Well, I'm dropping in unannounced to this "no name" thread, but no big deal. People are naturally curious. I certainly am.
I can't help you with a fade, because I went out with a bang. I got myself disfellowshipped.
Disfellowshipping was what I needed to make the clean break and move on with my life in healthy new directions.
You'll figure out what's right for you.
Life is richer on the outside of the borg because you get to choose what is right for you.
No more rules being imposed on me felt liberating.
satinka
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Norcal_Sun
Ooh I like the crisis of faith and social anxiety suggestions.. lol. Those are pretty much show stoppers for most people I think. The prying would probably come to screeching halt! I would only bring those out if absolutely necessary though.
I know everyone has their own ways of leaving, I am jsut fortunate that I have been inactive for a few years before I actually realized what I really want. I really appreciate the struggle of people who go from being active and elders, pioneers, etc!! Uggghh what a mess!
For myself I always felt like getting disfellowshipped was playing by THEIR rules. But I of course appreciate how sometimes its a good option.
Life is richer on the outside of the borg because you get to choose what is right for you.
No more rules being imposed on me felt liberating.
Yes, I have made a few friends who aren't witnesses, and oh man it is so relaxing!!! Everyone has their problems of course but you don't feel so judged! Its awesome!