I ended up in the back room of the KH today (page 3)

CoonDawg

I guess I could have gone on with the charade for a while. I like the idea of being a provacateur, but I just don't think I'm good enough to hide my utter disgust and disdain. Also, my wife knows me too well and she would see that I have ulterior motives in attending.

clearpoison

Oh boy,

I can already see the headlines. "See what happens to those that start studying, aren't those reminders we get about education from slave class just on spot. See what happened to Nobleheart, pioneer and all...."

In the long run you must do the thing you feel is right. If going in steps with all related announcements (ending pioneering, marking speech, etc. etc.) is not your style, then there is not many options left, being involved in something DFable (quick confession/non repenting maybe) or announcing your disbelief in some recordable way. In whichever case there will be speech about you, without names mentioned, sooner or later.

CP

Lozhasleft

Whatever you do Nobleheart I hope it works out for you the best it can.

Loz x

WTWizard

A nice thing to do if they tell you that you shouldn't leave right after the boasting session is to disappear during the boasting session, and not return.

Nobleheart

I'm in Europe so I'm just reading all the other replies. Thanks for everybody's comments.

@ Anony Mous - I can totally relate to your experience. Being in too deep to fade without any repercussions. I doubt I can make a difference with a 4-5 min talk. I had thought about giving letters to 3-4 close friends and hoping I plant some seeds. I intend to let people know I didn't get Df-ed but resigned on my own free will.

@ clarity - I know I wouldn't accomplish anything by attending a JC, so I figured letters would provide the same results. I agree that we gave up some of our rights when we signed up in this org.

@ White Dove - My family knows what I believe in now, and some are already shunning me completely, labelling me an apostate.

@ The oracle - Good for you for helping others out of the cult. Are those experiences found in this forum at all?

@ jamiebowers - I wish it was so easy. Our congo is quite hardcore and if I simply left, refused to meet or talk, that'd be considered brazen conduct. I didn't want any negative announcements or gossip, which is why I put up with it.

@ Lozhasleft - Thanks, I wish all the best for you too.

@ Clearpoison - So true! People at the hall have already commented on me going to graduate school. I told them I wanted to work in my field and have a better job position. Some remarked that my desire wasn't godly or in harmony with "where we are living in the stream of time." I can imagine them having a local needs on higher education after I leave.

Was New Boy

Sad there really is no "good time" to leave......it's going to be hell now or hell later. My daughter faded. Me and my son both DAed ourselfs.

All I can say is just get it out of the way and don't waste 52 years like I did. Time heals all wounds.

palmtree67

It sounds like there may be some frustrating and stressful times ahead of you. If it starts to feel like too much to handle, please remember that sometimes the only way "out" is to go "through".

Remember, too, that there is "light and the end of the tunnel" and that you can always come here to vent and collect your thoughts.

I wish you a smooth transition, Nobleheart!!

Palm

OUTLAW

WBT$/JW Kangaroo Court..

You don`t need a Lawyer..Your Guilty..

Shut up!..Your Guilty!!..

......................... ...OUTLAW

OnTheWayOut

I never would have waited for some elder meeting to end.

While I suggest at least resigning from pioneering, you could also just ignore their counsel and wait for them to corner you again and say you are doing your best, but feel you should quit pioneering since they have had to talk to you twice.

I wish you well no matter what you do.

I quit!

I said everything was okay :-( and I'm not proud of that.

I think you said the right thing at that time. Once the cat is out of the bag you can't put it back again. Once you tell them how you feel whether in person or in written form your relationship with them will change very quickly. You won't have to worry about informing everyone. Bad news (or what they percieve as bad news) spreads very quickly in the Watchtower world.

I don't believe much in fading other than to buy yourself some time to figure out the best way to call it quits. The reason I don't believe in prolonged fades is that once you start pretending that you still are a JW years can go by and you still haunted with the fear of being found out. You could spend the rest of your life playing games with people. And for what?

Do you have friends and support outside of the KH? I know you have us here but what I'm referring to is some sort of life outside the Watchtower. If not start developing one people you know at work or school. If you feel so inclined you could get involved with a charity or environmental group. I can also be a good time to explore other churches and religious groups. If you do just keep your BS meter on high.

I also think you are the type that will make a clean break.

Good luck

I ended up in the back room of the KH today

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