Nobleheart,
A few thoughts from someone who was in the Cult for twenty years. I was a lay preacher from the age of 13 to the age of 15 when the Watchtower cult got their claws in me. I traveled all over the southeast preaching at churches by hitchhike.
I loved God, a lot.
Field Service always was a problem for me, because to me the purpose of Field Service was to share God's love with people who had not had the opportunity to experience it. I never asked for money in the Field Service. I oftentimes just took a Bible and didn't even offer the books/magazines. I was lectured about this a lot and I would always just say "It isn't up to you what I tell other people about God".
The change from the sales of Watchtower and Awake magazines to the mandatory voluntary offering is what convinced me to quit. I remember this very well, the admonition that we stop selling literature and instead ask for a voluntary donation to cover the cost of the literature. AND, when we picked up the literature we had to make a "voluntary" contribution in the contribution box, and then if a householder took literature we sprung the "would you like to make a voluntary donation to cover the costs of the literature that I just gave you?" scam on the householder.
The night that they announced this, I have never been so upset in my life. There was a question and answer going on and I raised my hand and said "So, let me make sure I understand this. We first pay for the magazines or books when we pick them up by making a voluntary donation, and then if a householder takes any literature we ask for a voluntary donation for the liaterature that we already paid for? Excuse me but this is a scam, there is nothing voluntary about it". They turned my mic off and tried to force me to stop talking. But, I refused and I said "I'm sorry, but this is extremely dishonest and you have to explain it to me in a way that makes sense with Christianity".
That was the last meeting I went to. I am not disfellowshipped, nor did I disassociate myself. I just quit going.
This is what I would recommend to you. Not that my opinion means much. I would just stop going and tell friends why and tell the elders that I don't want to talk to them about it. The elders in my case knew exactly why I didn't want to talk to them about it, they just spread the lies. The people who have already marked you or whatever they call it now as an apostate are just hard hearted Pharisees. True love does not behave that way. What does it matter what hateful liars do? See, here is how I see it. They call themselves Christains. But 1 John 4:8 says "God is love" and the Bible says that we are supposed to imitate God. And then you come along and instead of showing you love they brand you with the worst insult they can lay on you. Hypocrites.
Family members who love you more than they love these hypocritical liars will still love you, and those that reject you don't love you, so why worry about them?
