Stopping my bible study with the JW's

by salsa girl 38 Replies latest jw experiences

  • salsa girl
    salsa girl

    Hello to everyone. This is my first post after lurking for months. Hopefully I won't make any mistakes while typing and trying to post this so please bear with me!

    I had a bible study with Jehovah's Witnesses and I stopped the studies with them a couple of years back. I began to develop severe reservations about them and I just could NOT get rid of a persistant uncomfortable feeling about how the whole thing operates. I realised within a very short space of time that everything was based heavily on appearances, eg, how things look, how nicely people dress, who owns their own home, who drives a flash car etc and that there was little encouragement or support for anyone who does not fit into the married with 2/3 kids bracket. Vulnerable people do not seem to count in this organisation.

    On one occasion, I openly said to a Witness on the street that I felt that the people are materialistic. This woman got my name from the cab driver who took me to my destination and reported me to her elders and I was questioned by my bible study teacher. Later on at one of their conventions, I was introduced to the elders that I was reported to. This is when I first realised that you cannot expect to have any kind of voice within this org and that to openly express any doubts or even mildly critical observations would bring me under close scrutiny! Actually, it is only through me reading the experiences on this web-site that I have put two-and two together and realised that this is the practice that is known as 'marking'. It felt like everything about me was being watched.

    In short, I felt that the people were patronising, materialistic and extremely judgemental and that the Kingdom Halls are breeding grounds for gossip and slander and I felt I needed to trust my gut instinct and put a stop to the studies which I eventually did.

    The whole experience with them left me feeling disturbed and I began to wonder if I was the only person who felt as if the whole 'loving' image that they try to promote is actually not as 'loving' as it all seems which is why I began to read this forum amongst others and it has blown me away to see that others have ended up having to leave for EXACTLY the same reasons and often at great personal cost to them.

    Anyway, I hope I didn't ramble on too much. I just wanted to vent my feelings about this so-called 'Christian' organization because I think they are really dangerous.

    Thank you for listening to me!

  • Murray Smith
    Murray Smith

    Congratulations to you Salsa girl . . . and welcome to the site . . . what most on here would call a 'near thing' for you . . . posters with your story are rare here . . . but believe me your story makes for very pleasing reading . . . as you've no doubt figured during your lurking, folk here have some sorry tales to tell (me included) . . . your conclusions are spot on (they're a dangerous cult) . . . and your thoughts are welcome.

    Luvonyall

  • Joey Jo-Jo
    Joey Jo-Jo

    From my time in I had seen people from an average life style make big sacrifices to keep up regular pioneering, others are materialist, overall I found most judgemental, some I wondered why they even go to meetings thinking Jehovah would not choose then for everlasting life because they kept making the same mistake (yes I also was very judgmental). Then there are those like someone I know that went to a bethel and is now in timor, he puts so much blood and sweat into it, he's very kind and worm, still this person at the time single developt depression and his now married and i hope is doing better, he translats material. Another pioneer couple who devoted countless hours preaching, her husband developt depression, then they divorce and she is married with someone else. I think these people are a minority

  • Murray Smith
    Murray Smith

    Interesting observations JJJ . . . I too succumbed to severe depression (better now tho) . . . the only studies I have found (I have them on file) showed JW's to be 4 times more likely to suicide and 16 times more likely to develop mental illnesses . . . staggering.

    Another article pinpointed the indoctrination period for converts to be when most psychological damage occurs . . . I suspect you might have dodged that bullet too Salsa girl . . . I sure hope so.

    Luvonyall

  • Amelia Ashton
    Amelia Ashton

    Good for you salsa girl and welcome.

    I wish I had listened to my inner voice when I was studying. I knew about the pyramids and still carried on!

    I convinced myself that once I was baptised they would accept me. I reasoned I would be invited to gatherings, have someone to sit with at assemblies and belong, because I had proven my commitment publicly.

    How stupid was I? I tried harder and harder but getting more and more ill needing stronger and stronger pills just to walk into a KH.

    You have had such a lucky escape.

  • Alfred
    Alfred

    Salsa Girl... your observations have been made by many a witness who have taken the blinders off... appearances DO in fact matter and there IS constant gossip in almost every KH... that's what people do to fill the void in their monotonous lives...

    When I used to put in at least 10 hours a month, commented at least 8 times a month, wore the same 3 suits over and over, I wasn't a target. Why? Because this wasn't "super-star" pioneer activity but it was just enough activity to get the heat off me...

    Once my hours dropped to 4 hours per month, comments to 1 (or none) per month and drove a luxury sports car, I became "marked" almost immediately... I also became the main subject of all gossip in the congo. How dare I drive up to the KH one Sunday morning with the best car on the lot? (this really blew away one of the "materialistic" elders who was noticeably jealous) Shame on me... It only got worse when I started expressing deep concerns over the WT's ever-changing doctrines, failed prophecies and flawed chronology...

    But you're absolutely right... this IS a dangerous religion...

  • salsa girl
    salsa girl

    Thank you to all for welcoming me!

    I am really glad that my story can be of encouragement to people. I guess you could say that I have a certain kind of instinct or sixth sense but whatever it is, if the feeling is persistant, then I won't go against it and I just couldn't shake it off where the Witnesses are concerned. I was already able to see that it was all very cliquey and figured that potentially, I could end up being very, very isolated within that organisation. It was almost like being a member of the communist party. My South London mentality kicked in (self-preservation!) and I felt I needed to get out as fast as possible which is what I did relatively unscathed compared to some of the poor people who's stories I've read here!

  • mouthy
    mouthy

    Salsa Girl.Welcome to the site...Lucky you! you escaped.!!!
    You say South LONDON!!! England? I am a limey so like to
    know whats going on there

  • Mat
    Mat

    Hi Salsa Girl- I can so relate to what you described! Well done for noticing so early. I didn't notice till years after I joined, and by the time I left had taken a lot out of my life that I'll never be able to get back.

    I have found reading books about the true orogins of the bible and Christianity help counter the information given by the JW's. They do put up a convincing argument- I wish I'd looked at their attitude like you did.

    I does make me wonder why they bother promote this loving welcoming image when in actuality they universaly do not live up to it, or for that matter why they do not universally live up to it when they promote such an image.

  • Honesty
    Honesty

    Your life would have been hell if you had continued studying Watchtower Society publications

    and 'progressing in the truth' as your mind succumbed to the clever indoctrination program employed

    by Jehover's organization.

    It

    IS

    A

    CULT

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