My two oldest brothers, Jim and Ron, were coerced into baptism when they were but 10 and 11 years old.
They were indoctrinated heavily, of course, and they tried to toe the line and be good little JW boys as best two unruly fatherless boys could. The nature of a boy won out and they both got into some mischief about a year later. The body of elders in the congregation saw fit to dole out the harshest of punishments- they were arbitrarily disfellowshipped. Suddenly, they found themselves being attacked, shunned, shamed, and held at arms-length, threatened that if they did not straighten up, not only would all friends and family members living outside our household never speak to them again, but that Jehovah would destroy them at Armageddon.
Their spirits were crushed by all of this. Mother made them continue to go to the meetings while still living at home, but you can tell they were not happy during these days.
Try as they might to grow up and make their way in this world with healthy minds and emotions, with dignity and self-respect, they turned it all inward using drugs and alcohol to numb the pain of the loss of love, the shame and guilt, the banishment from the only hope for life and happiness that was ever held out to them. They got married, had families, and did their best, but the underlying constant sadness would often take over and lead them to destructive behaviors.
My oldest brother died two days ago of heart failure. (I've redacted information listed in the obituary in order to prevent trolls from doing what trolls do)
I spent quite a long time on the phone today with his ex-wife and best friend, Dee, and we talked about a lot of things. She confirmed what I had always suspected. Jim carried with him, to the grave, all of the guilt and shame of his childhood. He always manifested a sense of hopelessness no matter what was going right in his life. Apparently, his broken spirit from years of WT child abuse was only mended, and then only sporadically, by the love and support he would get from his wife and children. The weight of the WT would always, however, come crashing down upon his progress and aspirations- an overwhelming feeling of grief and futility born of religious abuse. Dee said he sometimes spoke of what it was like dealing with so much weight on his shoulders for so many years. She knows the religion is to blame for breaking someone who would have otherwise been the most wonderful man in the world, so talented, so intelligent, so loving most of the time.
Rest in peace, Jim. The nightmare is finally over.