The Effects of JW Child Abuse into Adulthood

by PublishingCult 25 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse

  • PublishingCult
    PublishingCult

    My two oldest brothers, Jim and Ron, were coerced into baptism when they were but 10 and 11 years old.

    They were indoctrinated heavily, of course, and they tried to toe the line and be good little JW boys as best two unruly fatherless boys could. The nature of a boy won out and they both got into some mischief about a year later. The body of elders in the congregation saw fit to dole out the harshest of punishments- they were arbitrarily disfellowshipped. Suddenly, they found themselves being attacked, shunned, shamed, and held at arms-length, threatened that if they did not straighten up, not only would all friends and family members living outside our household never speak to them again, but that Jehovah would destroy them at Armageddon.

    Their spirits were crushed by all of this. Mother made them continue to go to the meetings while still living at home, but you can tell they were not happy during these days.

    Try as they might to grow up and make their way in this world with healthy minds and emotions, with dignity and self-respect, they turned it all inward using drugs and alcohol to numb the pain of the loss of love, the shame and guilt, the banishment from the only hope for life and happiness that was ever held out to them. They got married, had families, and did their best, but the underlying constant sadness would often take over and lead them to destructive behaviors.

    My oldest brother died two days ago of heart failure. (I've redacted information listed in the obituary in order to prevent trolls from doing what trolls do)

    I spent quite a long time on the phone today with his ex-wife and best friend, Dee, and we talked about a lot of things. She confirmed what I had always suspected. Jim carried with him, to the grave, all of the guilt and shame of his childhood. He always manifested a sense of hopelessness no matter what was going right in his life. Apparently, his broken spirit from years of WT child abuse was only mended, and then only sporadically, by the love and support he would get from his wife and children. The weight of the WT would always, however, come crashing down upon his progress and aspirations- an overwhelming feeling of grief and futility born of religious abuse. Dee said he sometimes spoke of what it was like dealing with so much weight on his shoulders for so many years. She knows the religion is to blame for breaking someone who would have otherwise been the most wonderful man in the world, so talented, so intelligent, so loving most of the time.

    Rest in peace, Jim. The nightmare is finally over.

  • Highlander
    Highlander

    I'm sorry for your loss.

  • Millions
    Millions

    Really sorry to hear that, what a sad story. I'm certain that the account will touch other people who read here though, and in its own way maybe help them, if they recognise similarities to their own experience.

    How wonderful that he had met someone who clearly cared about him so much, and that they were able to have five kids. I'm sure he must have been a great dad, and tried to make sure that his children never ended up experiencing something as damaging as he had.

  • Satanus
    Satanus

    Sorry for him and your loss. People who have poor starts in life because of abus and/or neglect aften aren't able to do as well. Some of us can work our way out of it and heal. Many carry it, always. This phenomanon has been documented:

    Childhood adversity may lead to unhealthy stress response in adult life
    October 7, 2010

    Seemingly healthy adults, if they were abused or neglected during childhood, may suffer physiological consequences decades later. In research published online last week by the journal Neuropsychopharmacology, a team led by psychiatrists at Brown University and Butler Hospital found that healthy adults who reported being mistreated as kids appear to have an elevated inflammatory response to stress compared to adults who had happier childhoods.

    Lead author Linda Carpenter, associate professor of psychiatry and human behavior, said that prior research has revealed preliminary associations between inflammatory markers, (such as cytokines or proteins released in the bloodstream such as interleuken-6) and depression and anxiety disorders, so this new finding could ultimately improve doctors' understanding of how stressors in childhood shape the risk people face for developing those conditions later in life.

    "Animal models have given us some signals about how the functioning of an organism's stress response system can run amok for the rest its life as a result of some of the earliest environment exposures — adverse ones in particular," said Carpenter, who also treats patients with mood disorders at Butler. "This is one of a number of studies we've been doing with generally healthy adults, looking at the effects of adverse early environment and how it might create a biological abnormality that could predispose somebody to future depression or another medical disorders."

    A study in 2006 at Emory University had shown that men who were mistreated as kids and were now struggling with symptoms of depression as adults had an elevated inflammatory response to stress, Carpenter said. The goal of her team in this pilot study was to find out whether the same is true of adults who endured early life adversity, but are not experiencing psychiatric disorders like depression. The results supported the idea that people who struggled with childhood abuse and neglect have exaggerated immune system reactions later in life, Carpenter said, perhaps in dicating a trajectory toward future health challenges.

    Stress test

    To conduct the research, the team recruited 69 adults, ranging in age from their late teens to early 60s. After administering a battery of tests to ensure that the subjects were psychiatrically healthy and not taking any medicines or drugs that would bias the results, the team surveyed them extensively about their childhood experiences. Of the group, 19 reported moderate to severe neglect or abuse.

    To measure each group's inflammatory response to stress, the researchers then asked them to undergo a laboratory role-play called the Trier Social Stress Test, in which they had to appear before a panel of "judges" and both speak about their qualifications for their job and then count backward from a number by 13s. All the while, the researchers were measuring various vital signs and collecting blood samples.

    Among the subjects who reported adverse childhood experiences, the concentrations of interleukin-6 in their blood were always elevated above those of the control group, and the gap widened considerably as the subject recovered from the psychological stress during several hours after the role-play.

    Advancing disease understanding

    Further research is necessary — for instance, expanding this small study to incorporate a larger sample size, Carpenter said. That, combined with more work exploring the connection between immune system function and depression, could eventually lead to a blood test that would be used to assess a patient's risk for developing depression or other medical disorders. It might also guide the choice of treatments or prevention measures.

    "We're not yet at a point,where we can say to healthy people 'Go get your stress-test cytokine profile done' as a tool to prevent, diagnose, or treat medical disorders," she said. "But what's clear is that a life of excessive stress-induced inflammatory chemicals in your bloodstream is unlikely to be a good thing."

    In the future, the way to help some patients, Carpenter added, might be in finding ways to ratchet down that inflammatory response to stress.

    Provided by Brown University (news : web)

    S

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    Sadly another victim of WT abuses.

    I am so sorry for the loss of your brother. Far too many victims never find a way past the abuses.

  • Snoozy
    Snoozy

    I saw the same thing happen to my husbands JW sisters two boys..both ended up being disfellowshipped. I wonder if your brother ever went for counseling? It surely would have helped with the guilt weight he carried.

    I am so sorry for the loss of your brother..I know you must have a lot of pain. Was he a good brother?

    My husband had a pretty bad childhood also it seems. He never spoke of it to me but his cousin who was practically raised with him told me many stories of what his Mom and grandma put him and his cousin through. It was pretty bad. Of course his Mom later went on to become a judgemental witness that never did anything wrong in her life..

    I was so glad that this cousin came forth after my hubby died and told me the many stories. It made me better understand why my JW hubby did/said/acted like he did at times.

    Again, so sory for your loss..

    Hugs, Snoozy

    edited to add: Concerning the pictures..they kind of turned my stomach because I too made my 3 children pose like that with the literature showing in a picture to send their non JW great grandma..so sad..

  • cantleave
    cantleave

    I am so sorry for your loss.

  • Reopened Mind
    Reopened Mind

    PublishingCult,

    I, too, am so sorry for your loss. You and your family have my and my husband's deepest sympathies. We empathathize with your upbringing in a destructive cult. My husband, the same age as your brother, was also raised as a JW. We understand the baggage carried into adulthood from an abused childhood.

    Reopened Mind

  • aSphereisnotaCircle
    aSphereisnotaCircle

    This just breaks my heart.

    Shunning and publicly shaming children is extreme abuse, there is no other way of looking at it.

    I remember growing up JW, that we were frequently reminded that we shouldn't think to much of ourselves, not get a big head. It was OK to shame and embarress your children in front of others, just so he/she wouldn't get puffed up with pride.

    The GB are clueless, and have no natural affection.

  • Big Tex
    Big Tex

    I am so sorry for what happened, and for your loss.

    The real horror of abuse are the scars no one sees. They are the deepest and most painful. And sadly they last a lifetime.

    Chris

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