Then & Now

headisspinning

I was born in the 70's and my JW mother spanked us a lot... Actually, beat us is more accurate. I know of other people from the same generation (LOL!) and it seemed to be somewhat common during that time period within the organization.

I also remember wearing a lot of second hand clothing and having pretty dismal school lunches and we were simply not allowed to ask for anything - needs or wants. I thought it was just us but I have talked to several other people (raised as JWs) and it was the same for them - somehow JWs parents during the late 70s/80s were really stingy when it came to providing for their kids in comparison with how 'worldy' kids were provided for.

What are your observations and have you noticed changes over the years?

My observation is that people who were born-in during that time period and who are still JWs now seem to have gone to the other extreme on both counts. Most will rarely, if ever, resort to physical discipline and kids seem to be almost spoiled now. I am speaking from my own experience here because I simply cannot bring myself to spank my kids - it feels so very wrong to me. And not only can they ask for things they want, I actually try to be alert and anticipate what they might like so they don't feel deprived. I'm not saying this is right either but it's almost like I'm trying to overcompensate for my own childhood. One downside I've seen is that my children are much less appreciative of what they have then we were... kids almost take things for granted nowadays.

sabastious

I am speaking from my own experience here because I simply cannot bring myself to spank my kids - it feels so very wrong to me.

A perfect reason for you not to spank your kids. There are many ways of effective discipline, just not many with such quick results as physical violence. Applying violence to your child, as a form of discipline, is a heavy responsibility and many parents, past and present, neglect that responsibility.

-Sab

tec

Well, I wasn't a jw and I got spanked. So did everyone else I knew. I don't agree with spanking either, though. But I think it was more of an accepted and encouraged form of discipline back then - cultural/social-wise - and now that trend is ending... moving into 'time-outs' and positive reinforcement. We are seeing, I hope, the hypocrisy in teaching our children not to be violent... but then showing them the opposite, by using physical means of discipline.

Tammy

sabastious

But I think it was more of an accepted and encouraged form of discipline back then - cultural/social-wise - and now that trend is ending... moving into 'time-outs' and positive reinforcement.

I'd rather see a kid get hit than be completely undisciplined. I hope parents today understand the requirement of consistant dicipline.

-Sab

mrsjones5

I got whooped but on top of that I got called names, I was told that my opinion didn't matter, I was told I would never be as smart as my parents, I was put down at every opportunity.

My children don't have the same experience from me. I have decided not to treat my kids the same way I was treated. I respect my children and I expect the same from my children. I don't have the attitude that my kids are little angels all the time but they're pretty good kids. I've tried my best not to raise brats.

FirstLastName

headisspinning - maybe we have the same parents !

I also was raised in the late 70's/early 80's and spankings were very common. There was even a room at the Kingdom hall to administor this "discipline" at. My mom was heavy handed. I even remember being out in service and my mom tossing me in the car, driving us home, spanking me with the wooden spoon, and then getting back in the car and meeting back up with the group in service. My mom did this really twisted thing - she would sit on the couch with the wooden spoon in her hand and she would make me come to her and so I would lay over her knee , on my own accord, so she could spank me. It was pointless to hide - just get it over with - and boy did it hurt !

I was always in second hand clothes. We were pretty poor though, so I am not sure that was because we were JW's but because we were just broke.

I do not have kids, nor plan to have any - I am afraid I would be to hard on them.

headisspinning

My mother's favourite weapon was the flyswatter when we were little. Then a heavy wooden ruler when I was about 7. Then a yard stick. We were told to pull down our pants and lie across the couch or bed. If we struggled or made a sound we got it harder. The last time she beat me I was 15 years old. I was too afraid to stand up to her so there I was with a bare ass submitting to her beating.

After that she would more just attack us - I remember her trying to break my toes, punching my sister's face and throwing her down the stairs.

Mat

Well I was not raised as a JW but my memories of childhood are exactly the same. I think that is just society generally (UK). I get the impression your dad wasn't an elder, because they always seemed to me to be spoiled pampered c*nts who always seem to get what they want!

headisspinning

Oh no... my dad was an unbeliever 'til I was about 15.

jamiebowers

My brother and I were born in the 60's to non-jw parents, and we were spanked with the belt, fly swatter, etc., but even as a single mom she worked hard to provide us with a few new outfits for school, toys, etc. She started studying when I was 12, and my brother was 10, and that's when her attitude about hand me down clothes changed, and she started not giving a damn about how we felt or what we thought about anything. I started babysitting and cleaning house the year before, so I bought all of my clothes and some for my brother. He started working too and paid his own way from a very early age.

Then & Now

Share this