struggling & need feedback

by wildeflower 15 Replies latest jw friends

  • anewperson
    anewperson

    Hi, You mentioned having a final letter or to-do with them. I recommend before any in-person to-do/confrontation you soften them up.

    Send one of the following to a whole bunch of JWs including your family. There a short example below and later a longer one. If you want you can change things to make it most effective for your own situation.

    Don't tell your folks the letter came from yourself. Just use them to soften up, then later hit on some similar points or show them a copy and say, "Well, I got a copy too" which will be true as I'm giving it to you here.

    Maybe you could also leave some around in a library's books, in phone booths etc. Get the idea?

    Here's the short one:

    TO THE CONGREGATION & PUBLIC: The Watchtower Society (WTS) leaders over Jehovah's Witnesses are causing major problems earthwide. For example, the Watchtower policy is to cover up cases of child molestation (pedophilia: http://www.silentlambs.org). They also say God does not like the UN but until exposed, in 1991-2001 were a formal associate of the UN. They did not do this only to use the UN's library. Read the Nov 22, 1998 Awake magazine closely. Also:
    http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk_news/story/0,3604,574134,00.html
    http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk_news/story/0,3604,565005,00.html
    http://www.thetablet.co.uk/cgi-bin/archive_db.cgi?tablet-00577
    JWs can form independent groups independent from the WTS & united by LOVE as at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/jahchristian, join another group or if unable to exit now decrease donations & other support given the Watchtower Society.

    Here's the long one:

    LOVING OUR JEHOVAH'S WITNESS FAMILY & FRIENDS, we're informing the Congregation & Public with documentated facts exposing misleadership by Watchtower Society (WTS) heads over our JW loved ones: Christ said families would be divided by some members doing good & others doing wrongs but never ever advocated destruction of families. 1 Cor 6:1 only says judge "trivial" things as in business, James 2:4-13 calls judging harmful, & Paul says the "majority" (2 Cor 2:6), followed his advice to shun a wrongdoer, meaning a minority chose not to & yet he nowhere condemns them. So we ask why the formal Judicial Committes destroying families via numerous formal renderings of disfellowshipment (shunning)? Acts 15:20 says abstain from blood but 1 Sam 14:32-5 says Saul's army ate unBLED meat to not starve & no verses show God not forgiving them plus Christ (Mat 7) says God also forgave David's eating temple holy bread & that God wants Mercy Not Sacrifice. The May 22, 1994 Awake tells of 26 JW kids who died without transfusions, & by common sense in massive bleeding as in car wrecks blood expanders won't save lives (ajwrb.org). An estimated 3 JWs die daily earthwide from the WTS’s unscriptural policy (Blood On The Altar)! Why should our kids, grandkids etc be endangered?

    Members are told report on each other though the Bible condemns busy-bodying. Page 302 in the Daniel book and pages 88 and 651 in the Proclaimers book show photos of the Knights Templar swords and the cross-with-crown-and-wreath used by Masons who sometimes use "Theocratic Warfare" tactics to change members' personalities on early WTS’s literature. Some old WT books also have the winged sun god Ra on front covers - never a Christian symbol. Nor are regular JWs allowed to read Judicial Committee "sin files" on themselves, many not knowing they exist; often with misinformation.(photos: freeminds.org) See also picture of Pay Attention To Yourselves And All The Flock book on p 232 of the Insight book that elders have but which non-elders are not allowed to read.

    Christ was likely born about Oct 2, so why ignore his being conceived 9 months earlier was in late December? Why insist Christmas is from the pagan Saturnalia when John 10:22-3 says Christ also celebrated the Festival of Dedication or Lights, i.e. Hannukah, which first began Dec 25 but has varied since because lunar-based? Job 1:3, 3:1 & 3:3 show Job's kids celebrated birthdays if you read all 3 verses to see day of birth is meant. Didn't angels celebrate Christ's birth? Santa is from Nicholas, a Christian, not a wizard or pagan god. Why call compromises holidays that attacked & replaced paganisms? Doesn’t Colossians 2:16 say let none judge you about a holiday. WTS heads say the Trinity is believing Father, Son, Spirit are 1 "identical" person yet most churches accept it as 3 totally different entities or persons forming 1 "Godship" (Ro 1:20), Son & Spirit sharing inherited age, power, knowledge from God just as an acorn may be only 1 day old but also have its genes inheriting its ancestral oak tree's age, capacity & information. Human remains & inscriptions show archaeologists the stauros was a cross not stake, Dr F Zugibe's research shows suffocation would be in minutes if on a stake but in hours if on outstretched cross per Lu 23:44 & Mat 27:45-6. Leaders call a cross is a repugnant murder weapon but Paul said boast in it as a symbol of resurrection over death. (Ga 6:14, 1Cor 1:17-18)

    Elders often hide local scandals. Leo Greenlees was a child molester fellow Governing Body members over JWs reassigned but never disfellowshipped (excommunicated) in the 1980s (jehovahs-witness.com in the archives, etc), & to date child abuse by Watchtower Society (WTS) associates is still officially covered up, causing costly destructive court costs and reproach including articles in Christianity Today, Dateline NBC investigations etc. For copies of letters to Bodies Of Elders regular members aren't shown including on child abuse see: http://www.silentlambs.org, freeminds.org, observer.org. JWs' kids & grandkids deserve to be safe. Some members in such coverup places complain of physical harassment (poking, shoving etc), hints that "Jehovah’s eyes are everywhere" & elders detailing their most private conversations & bedroom doings with their own marriage mates. WTS articles told elders not to “police” bedrooms in 1978 but later in a talk (but not in writing) in 1983 told regular members "The Practice" of some marital intimacies can lead to Expulsion. (discussed on Jehovahs-Witness.com) Some regular JWs absent that evening have been "expelled" (harassed/trained) without clearly aware why. Contrast this to the pedophilia coverups. "Insight" book articles are on all Bible books except Song of Solomon/Canticles which has much positive marital imagery contrasting with the Gov Body’s views of what is “holy.” Instructed to keep such things "in-house" when asked most elders deny the 1983-onwards policy to protect the Gov Body. WTS heads teach God does not like the UN but until exposed 1991-2001 the WTS was a formal UN associate, not just a UN library card user as claimed. Read the Nov 22, 1998 Awake magazine very closely. Also http://www.thetablet.co.uk/cgi-bin/archive_db.cgi?tablet-00577

    This is to help our JW family & friends but exposes the misleadership over our loved ones! They are told they must not read this material if given it by hand, but when e/mailed it most do quietly read it, some exit, most feel angry at first then quietly decrease donations to the WTS etc, if not baptized a JW stay that way etc. Some form nonWTS groups or are independent Christians noting when Paul said there's only "1 faith" the WTS didn't exist so true Christianity is all true Christians over the centuries. If a JW this may be from family or friends though originally from http://groups.yahoo.com/group/jahchristian

  • TMS
    TMS

    Anewperson,

    You have just presented the short and long versions of a disastrous approach.

    TMS

  • flower
    flower

    wilde,

    i think everyone is different and has to handle the situation in the way that is best for them. i'm still not sure what i am going to do. once i move from the jw's house i dont think i'm going to make any effort to be a part of their lives. they have treated me so bad and they will continue to do so as long as i am not in the organization. once i leave i will not put myself through this kind of emotional abuse again. i just dont see any pluses in trying to force them to love me and be my family. i already know how jws think and giving them an ultimatum to either love me or you'll never see me or my son again is ridiculous cause i will be setting myself up for a knife in my heart.

    so i'm just going to take a deep breath and walk away. they may surprise me and contact me but i doubt it. either way i dont care anymore..i've been letting their opinion of me cause me pain for long enough and i wont let them keep me from being happy and healthy anymore cause if i'm not happy neither is my son and thats what matters to me.

    like i said in my other post today, i have other family which are not jw's and i plan to develop relationships with them.

    whatever you do be confident that no matter what they say about you or how they treat you..its THEM not you. you are ok and right with God. They are in a robotic like state of mind. just remember that. even though i know that, that is something i have a hard time remembering when i am face to face with the hatefulness.

    flower

  • Marilyn
    Marilyn

    Dear Rachelle, I haven't read all the responses but I have experienced 20 years of being disfed in a JW family. I think you have to ask yourself what you are trying to achieve?

    I completely understand your sense of rejection, but don't be too quick to condemn your parents. You don't know for sure how they are feeling. If you read Duncan's post yesterday about role playing, you might appreciate that they are doing the JW role play thing re you. But that doesn't mean they aren't suffering a lot inside. Especially your father. I too am very close to my father. He's been so distraut at times about not being able to see me that it's put him in hospital.

    Of course you want some kind of closure - and I'm sorry to say that you won't get it. A letter, no matter how brilliant, will not give you closure. All it will do is give you the satisfaction of getting the last word in. If they read the words they won't see them or get what you are saying. All it will do is further cement their position to shun you. They will see your letter as filthy apostate lies from Satan. I see a letter as playing right into the WT's hands. It is my belief that you must find a way to live peacefully with things as they are. I can tell you that I'm a very "do it yesterday" kinda person, but boy have I learnt patience with my parents!!!!!!!!!!

    This is my advice. If you want to write them a letter then write a letter telling them how much you love them. Thank them for all they have done for you and tell them how sorry you are that they can't love you the way you are. Tell them that even though you are not of their religious mind set that you will try to live your life in a way that will make them proud. Tell them that you will always be there for them, and will wait patiently until they need you. Tell them the love you feel for them is so deep that you forgive them their treatment of you and that you hope that one day they can be themselves and enjoy their daughter like parents people do.

    I guess basically I'm advocating a final effort at penetrating the JW armour and attempting to get them in touch with their natural insincts.

    My parents may never have been as devout as yours - though they did try for many years to accommodate the WT's rules. They tried many times to 'cut me off'. The good news is that they've given up. They've come to realise that I'm their most loving child, and that I am more supportive, communactive and generous and sensible than their 3 JW children. I think they have come to realise that it's not the truth. But they don't say anything, they just shut up and pretend and put up with the 'marking' treatment they receive from the congregation - for seeing me. Unfortunately, if your parents do weaken over you, they will be treated very shabily by the "friends", so they are somewhat caught between a rock and a hard place.

    This is one raw deal - but I always tell myself that other people have raw deals - with awful things happening to them. This is just my lot in life. Keep your chin up and try to make the best of it with your new life. I hope your marriage fulfils you and brings you the joy you deserve.

    Marilyn

  • singsongboi
    singsongboi

    marilyn - your advice is the most practical!!

  • wildeflower
    wildeflower

    I agree with Sinsongboi ... your post Marilyn made the most sense to me personally, in line with how I feel and how I have felt about the whole situation.

    I certainly haven't been too quick to condemn my parents - I have been dealing with this & loving them for 15 years. I do not condemn them today either & will continue to to do my best to deal with all this in the most respectful, honest and strong way.

    Any letter I write would come from a loving perspective - I was just curious if anyone felt the need to write a final, formal letter.

    I do not believe that any anger and hurt you feel because of what has happened to you should make you turn around & do hurtful things back. I don't buy into it - I believe the goal is to become more compassionate, smart & rise above the negative and become a positive force.

    I will carry on as I have - thank goodness for the good around me.

    So long :)

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