Do you let others mamke you feel guilty?

by Snoozy 19 Replies latest jw friends

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  Snoozy

  If someone says something that makes me feel guilty, its usually because I already felt bad about it, and have been ignoring the issue. However, if I don't feel that I have done anything wrong, then I won't feel guilty about it, even if they think I should, even if they try very hard to load me down with a guilt trip, and that includes my mother

  That's just it Tammy, even if I have done nothing to feel guilty about they can make me feel guilty..they're good!.. I think I will try to accomplish this trick of making others feel guilty..

  Snoozy
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  Evidently Apostate

  not anymore. now i answer thier question with another.

  do you accept christ? why do i have an option or has he demanded obedience from us? he never expected worship but set a pattern of principle in order to build faith in god. yes i have principles thank you.

  when a question is aimed to induce guilt i never give in to the reasoning. i guess my bullsh*t meter is on
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  tec

  Guilt is one of the worst possible emotions to feel. I think people do almost anything to get away from feeling it: make amends or finally do the right thing (which is the best choice, and the purpose of guilt, imo)... drink, do drugs, hide behind anger, lash out, or just ignore the issue altogether, etc. Some people even rewrite the past in their minds, in order to get away from the feeling of guilt and remorse.

  So I suppose some people use guilt against others because it is a good motivator - but that will backfire on someone who prefers to ignore it, or lash out. Personally, I think that whenever we can, (and have the power), we should absolve people of their guilt at least toward us, because of how awful it feels to live with it, and how fantastic it feels to be absolved of it.

  Maybe recognizing that some people use guilt as a tool to get you to do something will help you escape feeling guilty when you've done nothing wrong.

  Tammy
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  wasblind

  " So I suppose some people use guilt against others because it is a good motivator - but that will backfire on someone who prefers to ignore it,"

  Girl, you said a mouth full

  I used to use the ole " When I'm dead and gone " guilt trip on my daughter

  she don't don't pay me know mind now, she has truly absolved herself from those words

  Now I gotta come up with somethin' else
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  charlie brown jr.

  I don't make ANYONE make me FEEL guilty anymore....

  I had enough of it when I was a JW!

  I feel guilty if I wronged or hurt someone I care about.......

  But I wrong someone who I don't like...........GOOD!!
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  Broken Promises

  The older I get, the less I care about what others think of me.

  And I can't think of the last time I was asked if I'd accepted Jesus. Maybe back in the 80s?
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  Snoozy

  BK wrote:

  I can't think of the last time I was asked if I'd accepted Jesus. Maybe back in the 80s?

  It was a first for me... He caught me off guard..I suddenly felt like I would be condemed by him if I said anything negative..

  Snoozy..
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  Curtains

  snoozy

  Just for an example, say you are eating a plate full of spagetti and someone with you says, "You aren't going to eat all of that are you?"..my first instinct would be to say .."No, of course not" and I would only eat a portion of it.. or say while shopping you pick oout a really nice dress you like..the other person says "You aren't going to buy that awful thing are you?"... I would say "No I was just looking at it"...and put it back.

  this happens so much at the KH and yes I do find that this affects me and my children and my husband. And it is in small things snoozy like you mention. Last week my husband got back a little early from the ministry (12 instead of 1.30pm) and we decided to do so our weekly shopping. 2 elders were entering our building to do a return visit and one of the elders looked at his watch and sarcastically said "going somewhere nice". We both felt as if we'd committed a crime and felt we had to explain why he'd finished the ministry a little earlier than usual and that we were only going to the supermarket.
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  Broken Promises

  2 elders were entering our building to do a return visit and one of the elders looked at his watch and sarcastically said "going somewhere nice". We both felt as if we'd committed a crime and felt we had to explain why he'd finished the ministry a little earlier than usual and that we were only going to the supermarket.

  This is something I don't miss since leaving the JWs. Being treated like you're a child by people have no business to say anything.
• 

  Snoozy

  2 elders were entering our building to do a return visit and one of the elders looked at his watch and sarcastically said "going somewhere nice". We both felt as if we'd committed a crime and felt we had to explain why he'd finished the ministry a little earlier than usual and that we were only going to the supermarket

  Yes that!!! Do people take lessons to learn how to put others on a guilt trip?

  I gotta learn how to do that..

  Snoozy