OTWO - very true, all around. I know it's difficult to "move on," especially when you have family members still in and are still on speaking terms with them. I still catch myself using JW terminology ("worldly" etc), but those phrases still have meaning for those still in, and sometimes it's the only way to speak to them...
Once the Spell is Broken - Leave Mind Control Behind .............
by flipper 27 Replies latest jw friends
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flipper
OTWO- Very true. Many EX-JW's come on this board to receive emotional & mental support in dealing with JW relatives still in. Of course some may say that is why Psychiatrists are available- however as Steve Hassan mentioned in his books- many Psychiatrists do NOT have a good full grasp on how dangerous the effects of cult mind control IS on people. Some may, but a good number don't.
In regards to my purpose for the thread- you are pretty much right on - I do desire people to enlighten themselves enough by research to see that all is NOT lost after exiting the Witnesses. That there IS light at the end of the tunnel and positive lives are possible through educating ourselves to being open to the possibilities !
SNOWBIRD- Good for you that you looked the elder and his wife in the eyes ! Instead of allowing tHEM to control the situation - YOU controlled the situation by showing them you weren't afraid of them or intimidated. There is a JW lady who works at a Grocery store in a town I work in who I used to know years ago. If the line isn't too long- I make an effort to go through her line just to show her I have nothing to hide. She's talked to me about why I didn't go back to meetings before- I told her I disagreed with the child abuse policies. Now she doesn't ask me anymore. But I just act normal and cordial going through her line. I can tell it unnerves her- but kind of intrigues her as well that I'm not intimidated by her. So THAT is part of moving on too ! Not being intimidated anymore by JW's !
GORWELL- Yeah, it takes time to lose the JW terminology or lingo. It took me a good 2 years + to get away from calling people " brother " or " sister " . Actually I started pretty early on not calling it " the truth " anymore. But with family still in the JW's I understand sometimes you have to use the lingo to communicate so THEY understand things
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Botzwana
I just left this past November. I am still sorting things out pretending to be a JW on FB....Pretending to everyone back home.
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flipper
BOTZWANA- It takes time to figure things out and work it out however it's best for you. Just know we will be here for you for support my friend. Hang in there
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TotallyADD
Hi flipper. For me being new on this board moving on was to write my life story for you all to read. The encouragement I got from your comments help me to release emotional feelings I had so I could let go of them. Moving on also means for now I post alot more that I did just a month ago. Weather it is nonsense or sound minded posting you all listen and don't make judgement calls on what I say. Moving on also means I now call the GB and WT a cult when just a few months ago it was hard for me to say that. I feel for the rest of my life I will be moving on away from this cult. Why? Because I have learned from this board as a born-in I have a life time of cult thinking to get rid of and it will take the rest of my life to completely get rid of it. But I am bound and determine to have fun and intellectual insight in doing so. Since I sign on in Jan. of this year that is how I have moved on. Thanks for letting me express myself without judgement. Thanks flipper take care. Totally ADD
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SlipnSlide
It has taken me a while to get this spell and I ain't never going back. I had a chat with my cousin today and she tried preaching me back to "Jehovah God". She said that Jehovah still loved me and I needed to go back to the meetings because "we are in the last days" and that because of the recent earthquake and trouble in the Middle East, that should be the incentive that I need to reactivate myself. I told her that I'm no longer accountable to the WTBS because I am an adult and whatever I choose to do, is my choice. She said that she will "pray for me". Yada, yada, yada.
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jean-luc picard
Sorry to hear of your illness Snowbird, but it sounds as if your positive about things. Well done. People all over the world are thinking about you.
I personnally have never ever regretted getting out from the sect. I've discovered that the world is full of nice people and it has been a pleasure to have got to spend some time with them.
I joined this board, only a few days ago, because for me ( as for many others), the difficult thing is not having contact with my family. But then, I was thinking last night, the ONLY thing which they talk about is their religion. In reality, we have nothing in common to talk about, nothing to say, nothing to do, not even a spark of genuine love, as our eyes meet. If I have to move on, its moving on from my family, not from the Borg, who are long since dead and buried.
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nancy drew
i have learned some important lessons in my life. i wasn't raised as a jw, it's not the only thing in my life that turned sour. Finally i appreciate the concept of "the personal journey". I don't regret having tried out lot's of ideas and fully immersed myself in each one only to find it wasn't the truth and that I had been lied to. From 12 yrs of catholic school to radical groups to communes to jw's now I think I,m finished with group activities. Now I,m reading and thinking about anything interesting and if i find something that makes sense before I die fine if not I'll just enjoy the search.
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CoonDawg
I think that there are many of us who come here to have that connection with others with shared experiences. For some, like myself, who have children still "in", it's not such an easy thing to just put it behind when it affects a part of our lives we care deeply about. As you can see from my post history, I come and I go...it depends on my emotional state at the time. I've been here for 8 years or so - off and on. Some times I feel more drawn to associate (virtually) with those who are here. There are lots of regulars who've been here as long or longer than I, but I've seen many who've come and gone during that time as well. The journey is incredibly personal. I'd like to think that my coming here is more about lending support to others who are on their exit journey rather than my being stuck in time in my own exit (which started 13 or 14 years ago).
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flipper
TOTALLY ADD- You are welcome my friend. I'm glad you are enjoying the unconditional freedom of thought and caring that appears on the board here. Many of us have been to hell and back in dealing with oppressive JW elders or family - so there is a bigger chance for human empathy to be shown here. I enjoy your posts and glad to hear you are enjoying posting more. I agree - I started calling the WT society a cult a few years ago after I read Steve Hassan's books on cult mind control. But it's an accurate assessment of the WT society. Look forward to hearing more from you. I'm glad to hear you and your wife are doing well.
SLIPNSLIDE- Isn't it amazing how our JW relatives feel the need to " save " us from something ? I guess from being " destroyed " at the alleged Armageddon which is imaginary. That's good you stood up for yourself to your cousin. Whenever crazy world events take place like earthquakes and the Libya crisis - all of a sudden JW's start doing an Armageddon War dance around their campfires. Weirdest thing I've ever seen. Then if the news reports calm down - THEY calm down. Bizarre.
JEAN-LUC PICARD- It's good to have you here on the board my friend. I'm glad you have made friends outside the Witnesses. I have found also like you have that there are MANY nice people in the world outside of the Witnesses. Actually much nicer people than the Witnesses themselves. I know how you feel about being shunned by your family , my adult JW daughters shun me as well. It is a really hard thing to deal with. But- I hold out hope my daughters will change someday. I just try to be civil and keep the door open to them.
NANCY DREW- I'm a lot like you are in how you described yourself. I'm pretty much done with the group religious or cult thing also. I receive a lot more satisfaction doing research and exploring and reading on my own venturing into many different avenues which I feel broadens my perspectives and horizon. But I'm done with religion. I think it's the bane of all mankind. It's caused more trouble than it's worth. Just my opinion.
COONDAWG- You echo my sentiments very closely as well. I believe I come here also to give support AND receive support from others who have experienced similar trials after exiting the Witnesses. My adult daughters also shun me which adds to my interest in being aware of what mind control crap is still being put into my daughters haeds- so I can be up to date to assist them if and when THEY start doubting it. It is a personal journey for sure like you mentioned- and if we have a good number of JW family still in it- it becomes even MORE personal I believe. Take care