by caliber 51 Replies latest jw friends
I have found some powerful reinforcements when people have stated their " epiphany moment "... Please share some.
My turning pointing began when I was badly hurt by a person I had always viewed as a literal brother. I realized that if his
love was conditional.... if it was the case with him , then how about those I had less affection for and trust in ?
For me, it was during a meeting where I'd been asked to substitute for the #4 talk on the TMS. I began to realize how easy it was for me to write the most inane bullshit and deliver it with a straight face as if I'd spent weeks working on it. Then after the meeting, I had an interaction with a regular R&F kind of brother who was just trying to live his life and do what he thought was right. He didn't have much that he was "privileged" to do beyone the occasional mic handling. He tried to engage me in conversation, but I was too busy to have the time of day for him, a regular guy.
He didn't say anything and probably never ever realized that he was a player in a key moment of my life. When I got home, I realized how much I was getting to despise myself. I was becoming one of those shallow glad-handing brother who will say "Hey, how are you?" then literally turn away because he couldn't give a rat's ass how you were or anything about you. I realized it was becoming so much bullshit that was only about the appearance of things, not substance. This coming on top of my ex-wife's shenannigans with a married elder proved to be more than I could go along with. I didn't stop attending all at once - and maybe I never consciously thought that I was quitting....but that night is what actually began my "fade."
I began to see things more clearly when I started doing research about the history of the WTBS and CTR. I saw no love anymore between those in my hall. I got tired of certain elders thinking that what they said was law and no one was to question it. I learned that my "super fine" asshole of a brother-in-law cheat on my sister. The last thing was the generation issue and it was the same "reheated food" that I have heard for years. For the first time in my life, I am living my life and I don't give a shit what they think!
Sitting in a CA listening to a talk about what a waste it was to go to college, since the new system was SO CLOSE. I wanted my kids to do better than I had, since I'd given up a chance to go grad school when I became a JW fifteen years earlier.
That was in 1988.
Emotionally, when elders mishandled situations with my children. Kids can't be kids, go through what some kids go through without being severely chastized by the elders and the fellowship.
I physically left when I found out they had covered up a horrendous child sex abuse policy; they lied their faces off.
That was it for me; if they can't get this one thing right, all else is beside the point.
So many things for me..... Till One Day I felt in my Heart...... I'm done!
It almost felt like an Unbaptism...if you can Understand that...there was no turning back.... The Love of The Truth Died.
I think we were on Exodus when I got the idea of reading the Bible from the start to catch up. I even calculated how many pages I had to read per day to catch up. After I caught up with it I thought it would be nice to skip ahead....and before you know it I was in Revelations. I started viewing Jehovah in a different light... I started to doubt.
That led me to read the publications more carefully and I just saw a lot of BS just put together. Specially the book Prophecies of Daniel, I just thought they were just making up shit as they went along trying to fit in the prophecies to modern time. So in a matter of a few months I just said I'm out!
" So many things for me..... Till One Day I felt in my Heart...... I'm done "
Yea, CB Jr.
It was several things for me too. But as my daughter got closer
to finishing school, I had already decided long ago that she would
go to a four year university, and I was made to feel bad about that decision
As a black American, it was not always possible in this country to be educated
without repercussions, let alone have a college education
so for me, I could not give up something that did not come easy
For anyone education is the key to a better means. The WTS
acts like God is against havin' a better way of life
It was about 4 months after I started taking riltalin early 08 for my ADD. I started researching the flood and came to the conclusion it could have never happen. That was the beginning of my exit from this cult. Totally ADD
It was in October....I skipped the convention because I had to work. Halloween is our biggest night. I got so much flak over that. Then the next meeting the WT was about doing more...I was already a regular pioneer and the article made me feel as I was shit.
Today I just erased all witnesses from my FB page. Felt pretty good.
