My whole life has been full of moments that should have been epiphanies. Im gonna leave out a thousand experiences and revelations but give a simplified account.
A ruined youth and anger problems due to years of bullshit and humiliation from elders is probly what set the path for my fade. "Imperfect men" was the excuse I had always tried to use to stay in and move on.
However the biggest "mistake" I made was starting to get very interested in history. Particularly religion and politics. As I started obsessively researching, my mind was blown away as to how little I had been taught about anything. The JW view of the world is just as narrow and deluded as their veiw and beliefs of their own religion. After studying alot about ancient Egypt I remembered the Pyramid at Russels Grave, and realized for the first time that his name is not on it. The WBTS is. I looked back at the Proclaimers book which shows russell's tombstone but couldnt be bothered to pan over slightly to the massive pryamid. What ever your opinions of this and its implications are, you cant deny that this almost a monument to display their complete lack of transparency and honesty about themselves.
I decided then to start reading the entire bible on my own for the first time with out the aid distraction of the publications. I thot this would truly open my eyes to what I had been basing my entire life on. And it did. After reading just the first two books, I was in shock. This was not the loving god of perfect justice that I had been indoctrinated my whole life to worship. I didnt know this god, and I am unsure if I want to.
A time later at our next DA we had the privilege of having David Splaine give the concluding talk. This was when I first heard their "new understanding" of the (failed) generations prophecy. He spewed the justification out and the thousands of sheep lapped it up, smiling and clapping. There was no "we were wrong" or any kind of onus put on themselves. Jehovah was simply giving these special men "new light" and graciously passing it on to us. That was it for me. I had already had an uncomfortable feeling from watching and listening to Splaine. I got up and left. I wish someone would have hijacked a microphone and read Deuteronomy 18:20-22.
Mac