JWs and Infant Weddings - Marry as young as legally possible

by doubtful 13 Replies latest jw friends

  • doubtful
    doubtful

    It sickens me to hear the venemous propoganda against the evils of higher education. They talk so much about how it consumes valuable time during one's youth - how it takes away time from pursuing spiritual goals like pioneer service, missionary service, MTS, Bethel, etc..That's one of their biggest talking points in their argument against a college education. Their other point is that we shouldn't be preparing for a long stay in this system, so why the need to prepare for a lucrative and satisfying career by attending college for 4 years, when time is running out, and the Big A is literally right around the corner...it shows a lack of faith in Jah's promises and a materialistic attitude..etc.

    Yet..they never say anything about the countless thousands of teenage or near-teenage weddings! Why?

    It saddens me to see so many drone witness youth getting married at such startingly young ages as if they lived prior to the industrial revolution or something and were trying to extract every year out of life for child bearing because their life expectancy and infant mortality rate was so low.

    The average "normal" person in the U.S. today gets married at a much later age..Before women used to get married as soon as they reached child bearing age..later as soon as they were legally able to wed.. - ie - 16-18...and in more recent times (20th century) maybe a few years after graduating secondary school. This was because women were always financially dependent on their husbands. They needed a man to work and provide for them, as very little jobs were available to women, and women were often intentionally kept uneducated. Since the era of the feminist movement and Women's Liberation, although some discrimination does still exist, by and large most women have no trouble getting an education and pursuing a career while earning more than enough to support themselves.

    Yet, in the Leave it to Beaver society that is Watchtower land, young witness girls are always encouraged to just pioneer and attract a "hard-working brother to support you"..They're programmed to expect nothing more out of life than to reach 18 and immediately look for a husband to support them so they can be a housewife for the rest of their days.

    And of course, all the horny JW teenagers who are sexually frustrated and not even allowed to masturbate can't think of anything other than to get married as soon as possible so they can screw their brains out.

    These two factors together lead to one inevitable outcome = witness youth getting married at a ridiculously young age, before they're even done developing emotionally, psychologically, and intellectually..before they've firmly discovered their own identity and settled into the person that they're going to be..before they even experience life on their own as single adults..They go straight from their parents home to married life..

    It's so sad..

    And when they get married..they don't have time or the ability to pursue all the "spiritual goals" that are so often encouraged..They have to slave away at their menial jobs, sometimes having to work two jobs each just to support themselves, and they don't have time to pioneer and "take advantage of their youth".. Yet no one ever bats an eyelash..You never hear talks from the platform discouraging this..Why?

    The answer is simple. Allowing youths to get married so soon is not a threat to the Watchtower, while a university education most certainly is. No honest, object truth seeker can learn what one learns in college, face the evidence and still hold to the bizarre beliefs of the Watchtower.

    Young marriage on the other hand actually plays into their hand rather nicely. These young married couples are kept so busy working away..they'll often have children soon enough, and if not they are still often obligated to stick close to their parents and rely on them for jobs, occassional "loans", etc..and they become very dependent on the only social network they know - the congregation. If they're married they likely won't be able to go to school EVER, and marrying at such a young age predisposes them to a lower income level for the remainder of their life, leading to disatisfaction with life and emotional dependence on MOTHER and the irrational hope of a soon to come Paradise earth!

  • WTWizard
    WTWizard

    They are programmed even earlier. During primary school, every activity that is "normal" is vilified. They are prodded to get baptized at age 6, which is even worse than marrying early. Once they are baptized, they are hounded to pio-sneer during every vacation from school. Beyond that, their criteria for divorce is so strict that they are actually more likely to be trapped in marriages without love.

    I wonder what would happen if I were to send a child of the age the witlesses start hounding to get baptized into a coin store with enough money to buy one ounce of silver. I wonder if the child could, without their parents, actually walk out of the store with the silver. And that is such a dinky commitment compared to getting married, or baptized, while they are still little. They are not given the chance to think about things before getting trapped--at least, with the coin shop, the worst that could happen is you are out the price of that coin.

    Actually, they don't want anyone preparing for anything. They are kept so busy preparing for something that will never happen (in ways that are worse than useless) that they couldn't prepare for anything that is actually coming. They are not supposed to get a higher education--for doctrinal, not financial, reasons. They are supposed to pio-sneer whenever they can, not spend the time developing skills while they are younger. They are not allowed to invest without getting hounded--there goes their retirement. They are not allowed to prepare for emergencies that are likely to become common in the near future, because of that "Trust in Jehovah" bullsxxx. No investment gold or silver--"You are not really trusting in Jehovah if you prepare like that". So, they become dependent on the religion which is NOT going to be there when you really need them.

  • fade_away
    fade_away

    Here's a secret of mine I feel confident in saying here. I fornicated before marriage! No one ever found out and we as a couple never felt guilty! LOL! But yeah, there are many different reasons why JWs get married so soon. Sexual frustration is one of them. It's all the rules that force kids into getting married so early. I married in my mid twenties but I broke some rules to make that happen.

  • nugget
    nugget

    It seems to me that the watchtower is operating a 13th century religion in the 20th century. I think the parrallels have been explored before but they are worth repeating. The power of the leadership and unquestioning authority, the policing of members for conformity and commitment, the fear of education and science and the hatred of heresy in any form and the promotion of ignorance. The young entrapped in early marriages and then trapped in them because of severe penalties for divorce. Draconian punnishments it is all a little controlling and desperate.

    It is an indication of how far the society is out of touch.

  • palmtree67
    palmtree67

    I was 17 when I got married, and I felt railroaded into it.

    I know of several in my hometown who got married at 15 and one who got married during the summer between Grade 11 and Grade 12. She laughs when she tells a story about staying home from school one day because her husband was sick. The school called to tell Mrs. XXXX that her daughter wasn't in school and she replied, "I am Mrs. XXXX". The school said, "Oh. You're THAT one."

    I'm sure it was an excellent witness.......

    Interestingly, ALL of these marriages were to much older men ( over 10 yrs older ).

  • thetrueone
    thetrueone

    And its not surprising that many of these teen marriages fail into divorce in a couple of years , mine included.

    Its mostly has to do about sex, boys/men are at their sexual peak at ages 18, 19 and so on, but

    they do not want to be chastised for having sex out of web-lock, so the push to get married quickly pursues.

    Unfortunately most boys and girls are not emotional mature or stable in their identity to take on the responsibility of

    marriage and this is where the trouble develops. The JWS are not good marriage counselors either, unlike some other religions

    that I have come across.

  • Anony Mous
    Anony Mous

    You're kinda forced into an early marriage if you don't want to sin. I think all couples (all couples I know at least) did some stuff they weren't supposed to do before they got married. Kids want to have sex, they have always wanted to - if you control masturbation and other sexual behavior from a young age you're going to get both sinners and deviants and young, unhappy marriages with divorces.

    Right now we see the results much clearer as 'in the world' there is no or at least less stigma against younger people having sex and as a result getting pregnant but this has always been that way. Back in the day it would be more hidden where parents would keep their children home if they got pregnant and claim the baby to be theirs but these days those stigma's have been lifted.

    There's also a claim that more marriages end up in divorce and usually people get married because they are required from a religious background but people don't want to keep those relationships in tact as again, the stigma against divorce has been lifted.

  • TotallyADD
    TotallyADD

    I agree with all of you. I was 19 when I got married. If I was a betting man I would not of given it 5 years. But 37 years later we are still together. It was not because of the truth. We went and got professional help. If it wasn't for that we would have broken up. WT like many other relgions use sex as a control mechanism over their flocks. Fact is from the time we are born we are on the road to reproduce. We are designed to have sex. But when you get a bunch of old men together they know from the get go that the subject of sex is a good way to control you. For the most part they make it dirty, bad and if you go by what they want you to do unnatural. Because of this many, myself included get married to young and for all the wrong reasons. In my life I have seen to many JW couples both men and women preverted by the WT viewpoint on sex. Totally ADD

  • Band on the Run
    Band on the Run

    We attended an inner city KH. I grew up with these kids from elementary school. During a three month period during my junior year, 3/4 of them were disfellowshipped for sexual activity! We had no mixers, no dances. No trips, no special ministries such as youth ministry. My church 's youth group went to Ireland and toured Iona. It is not normal to just attend JW ministry functions. What would be bad about a group trip to see a decent film? Book clubs?

    I know from the pressure of academia that a balanced life is necessary. Sadly, b/c sexual relations cannot be condoned, they are condemned to AIDS and other STDs.

    I have a law degree and I've seen Europe many times. Paris and London are my favorites. Very few people can live as Paul did. Paul never suggested that everyone should be celibate. To expect someone to die from AIDS or to refuse a needed abortion, kills young people for certain.

    Honestly, there are a host of ways a youth ministry with responsible sex education could be built around JW doctrine. Wholesome fun is possible. Maybe all this A. raz ma taz makes people desperate. Meetings were sheer hell. The thought of a JW theocracy for eternity would send anyone to rash conduct and suicide.

  • CoonDawg
    CoonDawg

    You've hit on a subject that is particularly in my face lately. My daughter is 17. Her mom is a jihadist JW - a fanatic in the extreme, but one of those fanatics that even fellow JWs tell to "hey, lighten up." I tried to get my daughter to come and visit her grandma who was sick with lung cancer. Her mom put the kabosh on it because "she's so emotionally fragile that she just wouldn't be able to handle it unless I am there." Yet, in the next breath, her mom, the psycho-bitch from hell (we just call her Satan for short), tells me about how our daughter is interested in this man who is older than her, but how she (my ex) was irritated because someone a little younger than our daughter is interested in her but Nina won't give him the time of day...and isn't that just terrible? The whole time I'm thinking "Okay, she's too emotionally immature to come see her dying grandmother by herself at 17 years of age, but you have no problem with her pursuing and being pursued by others with the intent to have a serious long term relationship? How is this ever okay?"

    I was 20 years old when I got married the first time - waaaaay too young. Teens have no business making lasting committments that have such negative ramifications when things to tits-up.

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