I Guess I Don't Matter

by headisspinning 14 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  headisspinning

  I'm pretty upset. My sister just asked me if my ex bothered to mention that both of my kids were announced as publishers last Thursday night.

  Nobody said a word to me.

  I just called my ex and told him that I was pretty furious - at least he apologized which I have to say, I have heard the words 'I'm Sorry' from him about 5 times in the 14 years we we married.

  Anyway, I'm sad. The kids didn't even bother to tell me... I would like to think that means it's not important to them... but with a sinking feeling I think that I'M what doesn't matter.
• 

  onemore

  hold on and see that one day your kids will come back to you.
• 

  Retrovirus

  Sorry for what you're going through, Headisspinning! When my marriage ended and the ex had a GF, the kids would go for the weekend and come back full of talk about how nice they were, presents they'd got, places they'd been to. I felt like a cast-off mum, just the mid-week carer.

  But I promise you it will get better. Your kids will have someone they can talk to when the wt loses its grip on them as seems to happen with so many young ones. Hang in there and be there when they need you.
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  headisspinning

  Thanks to both of you... I have always been open with the kids and they know I'm there for them unconditionally. It's just hard to be patient but what you're saying rings true. :)
• 

  Berengaria

  Don't forget that the JW's have a 25% retention rate. Meaning 75 out of 100 kids born in will leave. Maybe it's no big deal to them. Besides, kids have a very short attention span.
• 

  OnTheWayOut

  Keep on working on a way to keep them from becoming baptized. That's the main thing.

  ...and you matter. Maybe not to that cult, but to us.
• 

  poopsiecakes

  Hang in there sweets. I know it sucks now but make sure that every contact you have with the kids is positive, upbeat and fun. You have to be the anti-borg with nothing to remind them of the controlling crap they will see more and more as they get older.

  HUGS!!
• 

  palmtree67

  I said this on the "drunken gibberish" thread, but I'll say it here, too....

  I highly doubt your 14 year old really wants to be a publisher.

  I've raised 2 kids. Believe me. I know. (They are both out with me.)
• 

  headisspinning

  Thank you! You guys are really helping. XO to you!

  That's a really good point about making sure their contact with us is positive.

  And yes, OTWO... thank you for keeping me focused on what's important (as you have a knack for doing!)

  And maybe, just maybe, they just forgot cuz it didn't matter that much??? I can hope.

  :) HIS
• 

  jwfacts

  I am sorry to hear that, it is certainly heartbreaking.

  For a story that may give you some hope, look at the blog of jiyuu2 at http://jwbaptism.blogspot.com/2011/04/jwb-7-parents-objection.html

  At 14 he went behind his unbelieving father's back and got baptised. The father never stopped him going to meetings, simply said he needed to be 18 before getting baptised. Here are the letters the father wrote to the elders. At least jiyuu2 has not left the organisation and is actively going against such manipulation of minors.