I Guess I Don't Matter

by headisspinning 14 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  palmtree67

  I'll give you a little "heads-up" that I wish someone had given me when my kids were teens:

  Around ages 14-whatever, they really start pulling away from you.

  DO NOT TAKE IT PERSONALLY!!!

  They want to hang out with freinds, they don't want to hang out with you anymore. The world is a big wonderful place to them and they wanna see it all - WITHOUT YOU.

  Like Poopsie said, just make sure your contact with them is always positive and upbeat. Be the "ROCK" they can swim to when they think their world is falling apart and then.............let them go again.

  Eventually, they come back to you.

  Trust me.

  My kids are 18 and 24 now, and they tell me alot of what's going on in their lives and they tell me looooooong before (and IF) they ever tell their JW dad. They both say they can't talk to him.
• 

  Snoozy

  Berengaria wrote:

  Don't forget that the JW's have a 25% retention rate. Meaning 75 out of 100 kids born in will leave. Maybe it's no big deal to them. Besides, kids have a very short attention span.

  Jehovah's Witness answer to same question in 2008: (Numbers seem to have gone down since then)

  A 2008 survey of religions by the non-denominational group Pew Forum showed that the Jehovah's Witnesses have the lowest retention rate of any religion. Only 37% of children raised as Jehovah's Witnesses remain in the Jehovah's Witness faith when they reach adulthood. The protestants are 80%, Catholics 68%. If Jehovah's Witness is the ONLY TRUE RELIGEON, then why do 63% of the children leave the religion when they reach adulthood?
  If the survey is accurate (which I very much doubt) it goes to prove JW’s are not like any other faith, we have standards that must be met, if youths leave it’s because they want to do their own thing & don’t want to live up to the high standards of the bible.

  Whereas in other religions they stay because they can do pretty much what they like & still stay in their faith, we are the only religion that practices disfellowshipping just like the first century Christians.
  
  I have been to America & went about with Mormons for a fortnight, lovely people, but they went to Nevada to gamble, got drunk, etc etc in short they did just as they pleased regardless of their faith. JW’s stand in stark contrast to these other faiths, we live by bible standards & those that don’t want to abide by the high standards, leave.
  
  The majority of young people within Jehovah’s organization have followed a different course. Like Jesus’ disciples of the first century, they strive to conduct themselves in a way that reflects favourably on true Christianity. It is not their desire to be a reason for abusive speech to come from outsiders upon Jehovah’s organization and the truth. When such abuse does come they want it to be for the truths and the fine principles for which they stand and not because of bad conduct on their part. At all times they seek to prove themselves Christ’s disciples by good conduct, wholesome speech and sensible manners and dress. They want it to appear evident that they are not like worldly youths but are persons who have been taught by God’s organization.
  
  Our record speaks for itself—

  “Jehovah’s Witnesses—A Force for Good in the Community”
  
  (1) We teach people to live by Bible standards of morality.
  (2) We teach honesty and respect for authority.
  (3) We teach harmony between races, nationalities, and social groups.
  (4) We help others to improve their family life by encouraging them to apply Bible principles.
  (5) We have taught thousands how to read and write.
  (6) We extend ourselves to help others in times of disaster.
  (7) We have been instrumental in securing religious freedoms that are enjoyed by all.
  
  whereas 86% of the world CLAIM to have a faith & yet look at the mess of the world, we as Witnesses enjoy a worldwide brotherhood with no divisions.
  
• 

  Ding

  Sorry to hear about this development.

  Hang in there.

  As others have said, be there for them.
• 

  Lozhasleft

  So sorry for you HIS - my heart goes out to you that you've been left out of such an important loop. Dont let it get you down though, at the end of the day you're still their mum and noone can take that away from you. Sending hugs and love.

  Loz x
• 

  jamiebowers

  Maybe the kids didn't tell you, because they're not allowed to discuss "spiritual" things with you. I still think you should re-open the custody agrement once you're sure about the truth about the "truth". There may be limits that the court can put on your ex as far as the cult is concerned.