retorts without being snarky...

by undercover 15 Replies latest jw friends

  • undercover
    undercover

    Another in a series of public services for those who have the unenviable task of attending the Memorial or any other WT gathering on a rare occasion...

    So you're going to the Memorial. It's been a whole year or more since last stepping foot in a Kingdom Hall.

    Your going to this meeting probably means that you're going to be with family members who are JW, but understand to some degree your reluctance to come to the hall anymore or have resolved themselves to losing you to Armageddon. But you're a good egg...if it makes them happy that you attend this one "special" meeting, you go along with it knowing that in a hour or so, you'll be home watching HBO or in a bar enjoying a cold drink.

    You're not bothered by the ritualistic nonsense or the droning of the ill prepared and unqualified public speaker of this event. You've come to terms with all that. You know it's BS and you know how to zone out during the dullest part. But before and after the meeting itself you will undoubtedly be approached by people that you used to consider "friends" or in the least "brothers" or "sisters" in faith.

    How will you react to their various reactions to seeing a one time "brother/sister" come back to grace their presence?

    In a normal social setting, people tend to say, "Good to see you" or "It's been awhile" or "How have you been". These are ice breakers, not really a serious introduction into telling them about your goiter that you had cut out.

    But in JW settings, the faithful sometimes have a way of greeting inactive ones in a condescending way. "Oh, we've missed you so much" or "I hope to see more of you soon". These are not sincere remarks. If they really missed you, they could have called you. Hoping to see more of you isn't an invite to have lunches at Olive Garden for the endless salad bowl. No, they're making a little dig at you're not being at the meetings.

    Unfortunately, this is not really the time or place to get into a free-for-all with them. Since you're the one going out of your way to be that good egg for your JW family, you have to temper your disdain for this behavior with a simple, friendly remark, not instigating anything yet not letting them get away with their condescension.

    I'm also curious how different people would react to similar situations. Some are quick with witty replies...others, hours later finally come up with a pithy remark. Some take no shit off nobody, some are willing to ignore the stupidity of ignorant people and move on like nothing happened.

    Take for instance, "We've missed you so much". How would you reply to that without being snarky, yet showing a confidence in yourself and that you don't really miss them or their meetings?

    What are some of the conversation starters that you've had to endure on those rare JW social settings/meetings? And how did you respond... or wish you had responded?

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    "We've missed you so much".

    "Uh, then let's do lunch. Call me, you have my number." (Push it and say, "How about this Saturday at noon?")


    "I hope to see more of you soon".

    "Really? I am losing weight and you will see less and less of me."

    "Maybe you want to come golfing/shopping/jogging with me on Saturday."
    (Field Service is on Saturday)
    "Well, when your campaign is over."

  • keyser soze
    keyser soze
    But before and after the meeting itself you will undoubtedly be approached by people that you used to consider "friends" or in the least "brothers" or "sisters" in faith.

    The before and after was always the worst for me, especially during my fade. I could almost endure the rest of it(almost), but the phony Christian fellowship became unbearable.

  • Magwitch
    Magwitch

    We've missed you so much".

    Undoubtedly So (is my usual reply)

  • keyser soze
    keyser soze

    The only question I ever get asked during the rare occasions that I have to interact with JWs is "What congregation are you attending now?". Next time I might just reply with either "I haven't settled on one, yet", or "I'm in between congregations right now".

  • Finally-Free
    Finally-Free
    These are ice breakers, not really a serious introduction into telling them about your goiter that you had cut out.

    I tend to focus on colonoscopies and my polyps. It's a great way of getting people to move along quickly.

    W

  • undercover
    undercover
    "Uh, then let's do lunch. Call me, you have my number." (Push it and say, "How about this Saturday at noon?")

    I think I told this before but it fits your reply. Can't remember it word for word, but this is a pretty close paraphrase:

    I saw this brother at a wedding or something social...can't really remember. Anyway, he invited me to go to dinner. I said "sure, when?" He said "after the meeting Sunday." "sure...where and what time should we meet at the restaurant?" "uh, well... I was thinking you could come to the meeting and we'd go out afterwards." "Sorry, that won't work. I can make dinner, but I have plans before that" "Oh... well... maybe we can do it some other time"

    Never heard from him again.

  • undercover
    undercover
    "What congregation are you attending now?".

    I've been reassigned a couple of times and don't even really know where. I hear it from family members and a couple of people I've run into. I've not been to one meeting in the current congregation I'm officially assigned to. It doesn't matter how inactive you are, your cards are still there and will be treated as part of the official congregation records.

    The last person that asked me that I just said, "I really don't know"

  • Dagney
    Dagney

    When I get the "miss you" bit, I just say "Awwww, THANK YOU!!!", loud and firmly. Then I immediately ask about their family, dog, car...whatever, and the convo flips. And they don't bother to come back to "me."

    For "which congregation," I say I live "in xxxx now." Then flip the convo to their family, dog, car. What gets me is my card is still in the file, (I think!), and their husbands are elders and servants, they know I'm not going anywhere. So it's sort of interesting no discussion about it. I also get some emails from an elder, funny ones or safety info, and the entire BOE from my last hall and elders from other halls are in the address. Sooo...ok.... I just let it be.

    I think the most important thing is to be happy and in control of the conversation. It disarms them to a great degree. They are expecting us to be vulnerable and embarassed.

  • undercover
    undercover

    We've missed you so much".
    Undoubtedly So (is my usual reply)

    I like that. Very WTesque.

    How about this?

    "We've missed you so much"

    It is very happifying to see you again! (it's a lie, but what the hell...)

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