by TimothyT 16 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
Nuggets suggestions about sum things up for you TimothyT . . . along with the other similar posts . . . keeping it simple is vital in that you want to reveal AS LITTLE AS POSSIBLE . . . any information or 'hints' you give away will feed the situation and may create speculation and gossip . . . "personal matters" are just that . . . and could mean anything . . . keep it vague and always be relaxed and pleasant . . . and make preparations for life outside.
All the best to you
Putting on a serious face and being able to tell the bad guys to 'stay the f**k away from me' is one of life's essential skills. Practice on the elders- this is a skill you will need to learn.
Thanks for your responses everyone! I appreciate it!
I have thought of and considered a number of your points. Taking classes during meeting times is a good one and in September (if i last that long) im going to do it! :)
I think also i could move to another cong and just not bother going! Thats a good idea too! :) At the moment i still live with my parents, and moving out is not a feasible choice at the moment! I believe it would bring a lot of strain at the present moment! In the future, i will be gearing up for it though! :)
I like the idea of just leaving... but again, i dont know how it would pan out! I will consider this a little more... i think it will happen soon anyway! :)
Telling them i need time alone is a good one too! The truth is, i have been depressed and i have spent a lot of time working things out in my mind already! This is most viable and i like the idea of being honest and saying i just wish to be left alone for now to sort out the issues i am feeling. They dont need to know what the issues are.
I screen calls already! Did it yesterday! HEHE!!! :)
Thanks Coffee House Girl! You have given me some good ideas too and thanks for the kind words of encouragement! :)
I do have family in the Borganisation and i think this will make things slightly tough at the moment! They arnt realy ideal JWs, but still, it makes the situation slightly more compicated unfortunately! :(
Im going to keep it all simple then! I am also currently spending quite a lot of time developing friendships with non JW's! Its nice too... even that feels liberating! :) Thanks for your ideas and support!
Hehe sometimes i wish i had that skill of being able to tell people to f*** off! Lol!
Anyway, thanks everyone for your thoughts! :)
I really appreciate it!
Timmy xxx
Hi Tim
I agree with the advice you've been given here, Nugget has summed things up well. Its very important right now that you don't show your hand too soon or there will be an elder feeding frenzy as nugget so aptly put it.
David, my son trusted his friends in the Org too much. He confided in a certain young sister that he was gay who then, under the guise of "concern" went on to tell several mature sisters and a number of youths looking for advice on how to handle his confession. Before he knew where he was, he was in front of elders with most of the congregation knowing why.
Just play it cool, gradually fade from the Org without trying to arouse suspicion. Citing personal reasons without going into details is a good one.
Good luck!
Hang in there TimothyT - at least you found this place, which is a godsend when you are struggling. We (husband and I) did the fade for years and that was very difficult. Now the family all know that we don't go to meetings anymore (it took us moving to do the fade successfully for a while). They will still talk to us but the relationship is definitely changed. That's okay tho, we had to be true to ourselves and have developed friends outside of the organization. We love our family but have NOTHING in common with them anymore so being around them is not pleasant anyway.
Tell them nothing. Have you seen the latest Kool Aid WT?
Ask questions, if anything. Ask enough of the right questions and they might tell you they've had enough and leave themselves.
You've got some great advice. I am feeling like a bit of a brat this morning, so I am going to give some BAD advice that you can happily ignore.
How about inviting one of those "concerned brothers" over for coffee or beer. Pick one you don't like very much. When he is over, deflect and defer spiritual questions and talk manly stuff. You know, sports, weather, tools, whatever.
THEN put in your disassociation letter and say why. Specifically mention that "concerned brother" as helping you come to your decision, and your time alone together was very helpful.
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Now for some GOOD advice. It is a very brave thing to work out who you are as a human being, and to stand up for yourself. This is hard enough in society without the double whammy of the Witnesses. My friend says it is important to build relationships in the gay community so that you are not alone when you come out of the closet, so to speak.
