How do i tell them im no longer interested in being a JW?

TimothyT

Hi everyone.

Iv been a JW for 3 years and iv been attending meetings since i was young! Im now 23. I have recently accepted that im gay and id now like to leave the organisation.

Im trying to do things bit by bit, and i wanted to ask you all for some advice and ideas.

Personaly, at the moment, id rather just phase myself out than hand in a letter of dissasociation - although i likely will arrive at that point within the next 6 months or so.

I have been quite well known in my congregation as a serious, kind and spiritual young man, and at the moment, im attending less and less meetings and not going out on the ministry as much.

I keep getting constant calls from elders asking about me and wondering where i am. I understand their concern but its a little annoying, and unlike the majority of you here, i just couldnt tell them to get lost or to leave me alone as its just not who i am. Id prefer to say something along the lines of "just leave me be for now thanks!"

Do any of you have any ideas or advice of things i could say to them to phase myself out?

Thanks,

Tim :)

Dagney

Tim, can you take a class or something that you can use as an excuse for the time being for your absence? They might try to counsel you, depending on their feelings, but some understand there are times in life where extra resouces are required for other things...job, family, schooling.

When I left I was caring for an elderly mother and had some physical issues. The brothers were familiar with the issues in the congo and with their own families, and pretty much left me alone. I was able to flip that into a total withdrawal from the hall and org with little bother. I also moved about 5 years later. Our paths cross from time to time, but they don't ask, and I don't say.

If you could move, even to another territory congo, that is a big help. Wish you all the best.

darth frosty

Just leave man. Do YOU! Explore your new life get some advance schooling if you haven't already and just live.

IMO fading is always an ify way to go and with your new found love style that will just make it more of a balancing juggling act. Cut the witness crap out and just live your life with no shame, no fear, no guilt, just for YOU!

Momma-Tossed-Me

Just tell them that you are depressed and burned out and need to take some time off to regroup.

M

OnTheWayOut

Most people in your situation let the elders' phone calls go to voicemail and on the occasion when they are caught at the Kingdom Hall or elsewhere, they say "I gotta go." The elders get the idea that you are not wanting to talk.

If you need a proactive statement, you know yourself better than us, but make it short and don't offer a reply to "...but..."

Something like "I appreciate your concern. I am fine. I will call YOU if I need you." Repeat that to anything they say.

LostGeneration

If moving is possible, it gives you the best excuse. Yeah its a total pain to move just to leave the cult, but it gets you off of their radar with a valid excuse.

As far as getting calls, start screening them. Don't answer, don't return them. Turn into an unreliable, flaky JW. You may have to endure it for a few months, but soon enough they will be glad to be rid of you.

Coffee House Girl

I have tried many things...I tried phasing out, I wrote family a letter explaining that I wanted to leave- that resulted in visits from the elders wanting to know if I still believed in the "truth" and asking me to DA myself which I refused to do because I had family still in. I started living my own life and that resulted in people turning me in to the elders for being seen with my BF in public, which resulted in elders spying in my windows, which resulted in my filing a "cease and desist" letter to the elders in my cong...... every congregation is different, but if they are calling you already, if you want to move on with your real life yet still have family "in" the org that you may want to keep...I suggest moving also I just did that a week ago, moved out of the circuit (closer to college was my excuse), just got a new job, and am trying to stay away from that town with the nosy JWs thats my personal experience for what its worth- I'm glad you have the strength at 23 to recognize that you have to make a change to live your life as you desire (it took me till age 30 to do that)- best of luck to you CHG

Mad Sweeney

Do you have family in the Borg?

If no, just get out and don't look back. Tell the elders you are working through some things and you'll let them know when you're ready to discuss it and to please leave you alone in the meantime. Then get out and don't look back.

If you do have family in, that's a stickier situation.

NomadSoul

I just left. But that's not the option for everyone.

nugget

All the time you are in then the elders will be interested in what you are doing. If they get a hint that you may be exploring an alternative lifestyle then they will be after you like sharks in a feeding frenzy.

My advice is to keep it simple, thank them for their concern and say you are dealing with some personal issues at the moment and need time to sort them out. You know where they are and you will contact them if you need them.

If you have family in you will be walking a fine line to keep all this in tact. Use the time to start building your new life making new friendships. There may come a time when you have to make a choice and it may also mean walking away from JW friends.

How do i tell them im no longer interested in being a JW?

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