Would You Care If You Were Disfellowshipped?

by minimus 47 Replies latest jw friends

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  Quendi

  Thanks for this thread, minimus.

  For me it will be six years in September since I was disfellowshipped. The impact has been great. I have no immediate family in the organization, but one of my aunts and three of my cousins are still Witnesses. They live in Ohio and I live in Colorado so contact is infrequent as it is. Where the impact hit me hardest was in Colorado and California where most of my Witness friends live. One of my California friends has stayed in contact with me all these years. None of my Colorado friends speak to me anymore, although I have had indications that a few still miss me.

  The blow was softened because I had cultivated many friendships and relationships outside the organization despite WTS injunctions against this. I am glad that I did because these friends gave me desperately needed help, support, and assistance when I needed it most. The first three years after being disfellowshipped were the most difficult because I made a real effort to get reinstated. In the fourth year I came to the conclusion that the WTS claim of being "Jehovah's organization" was utterly and completely false; but I sought reinstatement because I wanted to renew my friendships with Witnesses I still cared for and loved. But in the fifth year I realized that was futile and I abandoned all attempts to rejoin the organization. I feel much better about that decision and have lost any desire to ever associate with Jehovah's Witnesses again.

  I ran into a Witness on Friday who spoke to me about attendiing Sunday night's Memorial celebration. We had known each other years ago and had been friends. She spoke to me in a low voice to make sure she wasn't overheard. I thought that if she was afraid of being seen and heard inviting a disfellowshipped person to the Memorial, what good is the celebration and the religion that sponsors it? Her action, doubtless well-intentioned, only strengthened my resolve not to attend. I have joy and freedom now that I haven't experienced in a long time. I will not give them up by returning to the clutches of the WTS. As far as I'm concerned, they are some of the 'wolves in sheep's covering' that Jesus warned against. And while I still have love and affection for my friends and family still trapped in the WTS, I won't go back even for their sakes.

  Quendi
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  minimus

  My daughter told me yesterday that after a few years of being away from the "cult", she would NEVER go back. Once you make a different life, it's easier to get out every way.
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  wobble

  I would not worry too much, except my 91 year old mother would be devastated. Once she has gone it will make no difference to me in practical or emotional terms.

  The rest of the family that are still in have nothing to do with me really,although they are civil if we meet. I would not be too bothered if they did not speak, it is difficult now, we have nothing to talk about !

  I would feel sorry for my sister who is closest in age to me, 1year between us, she is a long time pioneer, single, and has devoted her life to the WT,(= wasted her life), she would be sad not to be able to speak to me.

  I have friends who have never been Jw's, and friends who are DF'd and never going back,(how could you?) , my sons were never baptised and left years ago, having sussed long before me that the JW religion was a load of shite. Former JW's that I thought of as friends once were not true friends.

  As I now lead my life doing exactly what I want, voting in the local and national elections, donating blood, a small gamble now and then, etc etc with no attempt to hide this, I could be DF'd sooner than I would like,but you can't have true freedom if you are looking over your shoulder all the time.

  They cannot hurt me, but if they DF me, I shall go very public, newspapers etc to show what a silly, but viscious and vindictive little cult it is.
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  VampireDCLXV

  Would I care? Well, I have all my immediate family in, save for my Dad. If I got DF'd, I'm sure it would cause hella turmoil in the family. They all live out of town but I doubt it would make things much easier. I highly doubt Dad would allow for me to be shunned in his house but I don't know if I could ever visit my parent's home again if my Mom wouldn't talk to me. I truly don't know what my Mom would do. Then there are my sisters and their husbands who are all loyal JDubs too. I don't think I'd ever be allowed to visit them ever again.

  OTOH, there is now way in hell that I'd ever acknowledge any Elder's authority any more. If I ever get a call to a JC, they could go f**k themselves as far as I care. I won't go to their kangaroo court. If I was forced to chose between something/someone I care about and what Elders or my family would want, I'd have to chose what I care about. I wouldn't be able to go back to cowering before the BOrg...

  V665
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  Terra Incognita

  I didn't care the first time; in fact I would just love to go through it again. No kidding. I'd be blowing fire out of my mouth.
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  asleif_dufansdottir

  No. Heck for all I know I could be DF'd already. DH and I were the only ones in and we're both out.

  PS - YAY I found my login!
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  JW GoneBad

  Yep, I'd have to say it would definitely have an impact on my life and the lives of my loved ones!
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  Broken Promises

  Yes, for the effect it would have on my family.

  But personally, I really wouldn't care. If anything, it'd be an honour to no longer to be considered part of that organisation anymore.
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  blondie

  I would much rather go out with a public letter of disassociation in the local rag...easily and secretly accessible to all jws. DF'ing is their rejecting you, DA'ing is you rejecting them.

  But in the end I don't care to play their game and acknowledge they have any authority over me.
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  Mad Sweeney

  Like many others, I don't care personally but don't DA or DF yet for elderly mom's sake.

  Also, those of you acting like a child (you know who you are), grow up.