Ex-inlaws are trying to JW indoctrinate my daughter....need some advice

by James_Slash 14 Replies latest jw experiences

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  James_Slash

  Could do with some help please.

  I found out last week that my daughter is being taught how to pray before meals "dear Jehovah" and taken to meetings by her Mothers family (that are JW's).

  Myself and her Mother are divorced - we live over 100 miles apart. Neither of us are JWs anymore (I haven't been for 5 years - not D/F or D/A) and I am contemplating my disassociation letter as we speak. Her family played a part in separating me from my daughter during our divorce in 2007 - they even wrote lies to support her. I had to fight for 10 months to see my daughter again.

  I wrote her Mother a letter on Saturday and made it clear that I am not happy with the fact that "M" is being taught such things - especially after we had agreed that she wouldn't be. She is only 4.

  I really could do with some help? I have threatened legal action if this continues.
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  still thinking

  Hi James_ I hear your concern and I understand. It is very difficult being a parent and being unable to do anything about things you are not happy about.

  Are you able to discuss your concerns with your ex? Maybe she isn't happy about it either. At least you wouldn't be on your own dealing with this, you may not be together but you are both still her parents.

  If not, then the only thing I can say is to have as much contact and interaction with your daughter that you can so that you can give her a ballanced view of belief and it is not one sided. She is only four, but you are her dad. And a dad is more important than a grandparent to a child. No matter how wonderful the grandparents may be to her.

  Hope that helps a little, I'm sure others here will be able to give you better advise. I just wanted to let you know I feel for you.
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  Black Sheep

  You can't protect your daughter by isolating her from the teachings of JWs, Moonies, Mormons, Scientologists and every other cult that wants her.

  You have to immunise your daughter.

  Teach her critical thinking skills pronto

  Something like this might help. http://www.amazon.com/Teach-Your-Child-How-Think/dp/0140238301 At least have a read of the preview

  There should be a copy at your library

  Chris
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  nugget

  You have an issue here that they will not listen to your wishes since they will always think they are right and they have zero respect for what you want.

  You will need multiple strategies for dealing with this one and talking to your ex and being involved with your daughter including teaching her critical thinking skills will help. The thinking atheist pod casts are very good, he had a background in fundamentalist religion and taught his children how to think for themselves.

  I would also investigate the legal route making sure that the in laws and local congregation elders are aware they will be personnally liable for any infrigement.

  My in laws are equally fanatical they told my children that they must love Jehovah more then mummy and daddy which made my husband livid. Now we are df'd they don't talk to us at all.
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  Iamallcool

  you can tell your daughter that you have different beliefs from her grandma. Tell your daughter in a very simple way. I agree with Black Sheep, BTW.
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  Morbidzbaby

  I'm going through similar, but the culprit is my ex himself and his wife. He has custody, so there isn't much I can do except just try to teach them to think for themselves when I do talk to them.
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  jamiebowers

  What does your ex think about this? If you're both on the same page, then simply don't allow the grandparents unsupervised visits with your daughter. If she doesn't have the nerve to stand up to her parents, you may want to pursue legal action to update the custody agreement so that you have say in your daughter's religious instruction or lack thereof. It's also a good idea, as others have suggested, to teach your daughter critical thinking skills.
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  aSphereisnotaCircle

  I agree, teaching critical thought skills are important, and we should all teach our children how to think.

  But at 4 years old, critical thought is not going to help much.

  I wouldn't worry to much about your daughter being taught to pray, but its the other stuff that can be very damaging to such a young person.

  I got heavily indoctrinated by my grandparents when I was five, they grilled me with the "paradise" book, it was awful. My first day of kindergarten was the first time i was ever exposed to non-witnesses, I could not stop thinking about all those kids about to be destroyed at armegeddon. I would force myself not to think about them dying and tried to "trust in jehovah". But I could not stop thinktring it, the thoughts just tortured me.

  Four is much to tender of an age to teach critical thinking skills, but it is not to young to terrorize with thoughts of death and destruction.

  I would do everything in my power to protect my child from well-meaning,but seriously damaging Grandparents.
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  sjac

  I went through something similiar with my son. I left the JW when my husband left us and I took my young son. My husband was a JW in good standing even though he abandoned us. Anyway, every visiting day he tried to indoctrine the JW teachings in him. Whenever you see your child tell her about Jesus and how wonderful to be free, how great it is to have friends and go to school functions, etc. It doesn't take a child long to see the boredom and strictness in a Kingdom Hall!
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  GLTirebiter

  especially after we had agreed that she wouldn't be

  Is that in writing, as part of the divorce's separation agreement?

  If you're serious about taking any kind of legal action, you know who you should talk to about that--a professional well versed in the law where you and your ex live.