Ex-inlaws are trying to JW indoctrinate my daughter....need some advice

by James_Slash 14 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Gayle

  How often do you have your daughter? Do your ex's parents babysit some while she's working? How much time is she with the JWs grandparents? Do you have Skype?

  Try to instill fun, zest, quest for learning, interesting things for her - the opposite of JW learning. Encourage positive thinking, opposite of negative judgemental thinking of JWs. Her childhood time is her gift and does not belong to the grandparents to rob her simple childhood. A child of clear choices will choose the positive, fun things. I hope you will be able to be involved in her 5th birthday and Christmas, making it fun. If she parrots some comment that God doesn't like birthdays and Christmas, tell that is not true,,God thinks it's great. Teach her to 'celebrate' life. She will be drawn to your philosophy and spirit.

  Children will draw away from negative, over-ruling grandparents, no matter what religion they are. If her grandparents in any way teach her contrary to your beliefs, and express disrespect to you, then you must limit their association some how.

  I have grandchildren and step-grandchildren, having such a great time with much respect for their parents. Some are Christian, agnostic, Catholic and atheist. Everyone agrees with these three doctrines: love, joy and peace. Works all the way around.
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  Ilovebirthdays

  I have a 5 and 7 year old. This is what I tell them:

  Grandma doesn't believe in celebrating fun things like Christmas. Her religion won't let her do fun things like birthdays, Halloween, Thanksgiving or any other fun holiday. Grandma won't go and see fireworks. Grandma won't let the tooth fairy come to her house because her religion doesn't believe in it. Grandma's religion doesn't believe in people getting to play sports with their friends. Grandma doesn't believe in Harry Potter. She won't buy Harry Potter legos. When I was growing up, Grandma wouldn't let me go play with my friends from school because her religion told her I couldn't. Grandma's religion makes her go to a lot of boring meetings, where all you do is sit down for a really, super-duper long time and just listen to people talk about boring things. You can't get up and play or even whisper. Instead of watching cartoons on Saturday, Grandma's religion makes her go knock on people's doors and talk about boring things.

  If you sit down and think hard enough, you can come up with endless boring things Grandma's religion won't let her do. They really are too young to apply critical thinking skills, but it doesn't take much for them to realize Grandma's religion isn't fun, and they would get a lot of things they love taken away from them if they join. I just try to stress that it isn't Grandma that is bad, it is her religion that is.
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  Band on the Run

  I am a lawyer. If your daughter is important to you, see a family lawyer. A family law expert will cost more than a general practice lawyer. It will be cheaper in the long run b/c the lawyer should know the law (as opposed to having finesse in not letting you know that lawyer doesn't know). Altho it is not my specialty, I think of several legal issues immediately.

  In my view, you have two avenues: 1. the one you can control. Critical thinking skills. Being a diplomat respecting the in-laws yet making it clear that you disagree with them, etc. 2, a legal remedy of some sort. This happens all the time in America. The case and statutory law must be settled. One thing you can try is reading some law review articles yourself. Some material may be online. Commercial legal research software is expensive. A local law school will likely let the public have limited access for pro se cases where people represent themselves. As an outsider, it is hard to find out who is very good. If you go to law librarian, ask which law journals are local. Searching for religious issues and grandparents articles in these particular journals might give you leads to local lawyers who publish with expertise in the area.

  It must be heart breaking. I'd try to see the struggle as a long term one, focusing on her ultimate adult choice, rather than a pitched battle.
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  kurtbethel

  Something like this:

  Grandma and Grandpa are members of a church that is run by very bad men who want to get their money and make them do things for them. These bad men make up scary boogeyman stories about Armageddon to scare people so they do what they are told, and to give them more money. Do not be afraid of the things they tell you. It is just pretend. Daddy and Mommy love you very much and those things they tell you will not happen to you."
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  yadda yadda 2

  If you don't mind me asking: why do you live so far away from your daughter? How often do you see her?