An Interesting Turn of Events

by headisspinning 16 Replies latest jw friends

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  headisspinning

  BIG DEVELOPMENT...

  I got a text message from my sister at 1:45 am that said: "I just told (my other sister) that I am disassociating myself."

  We have been texting back and forth and I guess she told my mother the same thing.

  Memorial night seems to have been the clincher for her - she was very upset about three interactions with the elders and I guess she just had it.

  We did talk a little bit that night and I very carefully mentioned some research I've been doing. I didn't get into it too much.

  But she basically agreed that like me, she believes in God, Jesus and the Bible but not so much the 'Organization'.

  She is going to be talking to my family more today. I told her to be careful because they are just going to switch it into high gear to 'save' her.

  And I suggested that she try talking to someone unbiased and recommended a good friend of mine who is very aware of the issues involved in regards to family and the religion but is not a JW.

  I asked if I could give her my opinion and she readily agreed. So I said that maybe she could just tell our family that she done with the religion and that if they can't accept that and try to force the issue she will disassociate herself.

  Apparently my mother suggested something quite similar which was quite surprising.

  For now, I'm just going to sit back and watch what unfolds.
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  Lozhasleft

  Very interesting for you HIS...maybe this will be a turning point for your whole family...who knows? I do hope so for your sake.

  Loz x
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  jgnat

  I am glad that you won't be as isolated now. You two can support each other.
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  headisspinning

  Thanks Loz. It will be interesting to see where this goes. I'm just going to try to be supportive but make sure she decides for herself.

  She is going to be getting a lot of pressure from the rest of my family and I want her to see that I'm not like that and I just want what's right for her.

  Plus my husband cautioned me in that the rest of our family could turn this all around on me and blame me for her decision. So I'm trying to be mindful of that too.
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  headisspinning

  Hey jgnat... yeah, that would be really nice but I'm not holding my breath. I've seen her go from one extreme to the other - she is very controlled by my family - so time will tell.
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  man in black

  get ready for them to pull out all of the stops !

  
• 

  headisspinning

  So very true MIB... I am fully anticipating that.

  My emotion mind is screaming "Quick! Go gather up a bunch of irrefutable facts that say they don't have the TRUTH anyway!"...

  But then my WISE mind is saying "Nope. Just sit back and let her come to her own decision. You can share the rest with her later. It will only add to the chaos at this point."

  Let's hope wisdom wins this battle!
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  leavingwt

  Many people do not realize what will happen if they DA themselves. In WT world, this is the worst possible offense. You're viewed as being beneath adulterers, drunkards and fornicators. There will be ZERO sympathy for her from the JWs.

  IF any of her social circle or financial dealings are dependent upon JWs, her world will be shaken to its core, if she DA's herself.
• 

  headisspinning

  Good point, Leaving. That's why I suggested she tell the family that she's 'done' but not take the formal step of D/Aing herself.

  She has extenuating circumstances (health related) and it would not be in her best interests to take that step, in my opinion.
• 

  leavingwt

  tell the family that she's 'done'

  These are words that should not be vocalized, if she doesn't wanted to be treated as if she had DA'd herself. These are words of disloyalty, apostasy.

  SHE controls what will happen. She can remain silent about her objections. She can insist that she simply doesn't want to talk about it. Talking about it will end badly, in most cases, unless the local elder body is lazy, incompetent or apostate. (If, after telling people she doesn't want to talk about, she is pressed further, then the person doing the pressing is an a$$hole. Adults have the right to ignore a$$holes. We owe A$$holes nothing.)

  These people do not deserve to hear what is in her heart. They do not have her best interests in mind. They simply want to "keep the congregation clean". This is a rigged game. She is not on a level playing field.

  I cannot stress this enough: If a person does not want to be DF'd, then they must keep quiet.

  It's their way or the highway.