Hi I was just looking for some advice. I have been studying with the JW's for over a year now, and attended 2 memorials and the district/assembly conventions. At first, and up until very recently I truly believed what I was learning was the truth. As I have gotten further into my studies though it is seeming a little creepy. I try to bring up questions and doubts in my studies but it is hard because there is only one right answer- quoting the book I am reading from. I have a meeting on tuesday to see about becoming an unbaptized publisher. I am pretty convinced right now that this is not the religion for me. The blood issue specifically, and my husband is in the military (I started studying when he was deployed and I was very lonely and POOF a sister came knocking at my door!) How should I go about quitting my study? Everyone is expecting me to get baptized and I just CAN'T. Even though lots of what they have to say is appealing with the Watchtower it is either all or nothing and I don't agree with all of it, even though I do agree with a lot of it. The sisters who have done my study have become very very good friends of mine and it makes me sad because I have a feeling once I tell them I am through with studying they wont want to be my friends anymore. I don't know how I got this far into it I was just trying to pass the time and get some socialization and now I am about to go out in the ministry. How do I stop this trainwreck? I would like to just fade away and get too busy but they just don't leave me alone and always make me feel SO guilty when I can't make it to things that I go out of guilt instead of spending time with my husband like I should. HELP?
Want to quit Bible study
by confusedstudent 89 Replies latest jw friends
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confusedstudent
I also have been attending meetings semi-regularly.
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jookbeard
getting a lot of these type of question's from folks just studying with them, very easy this one here goes;
first and fulmost you will need to purchase some excellent reference material, Ray Franz' and Carl Olaf Jonson's material through Commentary Press will supply this, you should also tell the person that you are having some major doubts what is being presented as "truth" and have heard some reports that the WTS have had some scandals that have affected them in recent years namely;membership of the UN/a worrying child abuse scandal that carrys on to this day/flaws with the blood ban/possible failed prophecies and false doctrine, secondly you will need to fire up your laptop and get this page and jwfacts.com opened and ready to roll, when your study turns up for the next session you will tell him that we are changing the style and format of the study and we are not and repeat not studying WTS books only, I demand that we look at both sides of the argument and look at works that are critical of the WTS doctrine, if the WTS is the sole truth then we shouldn't have anything to worry about as the truth will always come out on top, if you present this new study format to the Dub you probably wont be seeing them again!
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Murray Smith
Hi confusedstudent and welcome to the site.
Your natural sense of disquiet at this time is actually serving you well . . . question EVERYTHING . . . it's a life-changing decision to become a JW and you need to research such a decision thoroughly. Friendships, aquaintances, potential dissappointment are poor reasons for joining a religion . . . especially this one.
Take heed of the above suggestions . . . jwfacts.com and freeminds.org will provide you with reliable information
And please . . . don't sacrifice time with your husband . . . or family . . . they should be the most important people in your life . . . bar none.
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Heaven
The sisters who have done my study have become very very good friends of mine and it makes me sad because I have a feeling once I tell them I am through with studying they wont want to be my friends anymore
This is exactly what will happen. This is what cults do.
I am not sure of your entire circumstance but you have 2 options:
1) Move far away and don't tell them where you are going.
2) Stay where you are and become completely unavailalble. The staying option means you''ll have more disturbances in your life with phone calls, them dropping by, and running into them when you are out and about. Then you'll have to explain things unless you cut it off cold turkey with them. They usually hound people and it sounds like their tightening things up so you'll have to deal with their guilting strategies.
For me, I knew I couldn't be a JW when I was a teen so I put together my life plan, moved away from home after graduating high school, went to College, and got a job where I was working lots, carried a pager, worked overtime and weekends. I wasn't available. A busy life means you have no time for the mandatory expectations of meetings, reading their publications, and the door-to-door work. Anytime my parents would try to witness I would counter with silence or something to refute what they were saying. I had to state clearly to my Dad a couple of years ago that I wasn't going to be a JW. We agreed not to speak about religion. But he STILL tries to talk about it with me. This is what indoctrination does to people.
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Black Sheep
Go down to the library and get a good book that teaches critical thinking.
Discuss your concerns about the doctrines using the techniques taught in the book.
Insist on honesty.
Insist that they answer any questions you ask.
Every time they 'answer' your question, don't say anything until you have taken the time to ask yourself ...... "Did they really answer the question that I asked, or did they just change the question/subject/whatever just enough that I ended up listening to that whole A4 worth of blurb and forgot my question?" If they did .......... point that out, tell them that you were offended by their attempt to fool you and restate your question.
You have the opportunity to escape from the teachings of a high control cult and learn something about yourself and the workings of cults in the process ............... or not ................... Your choice.
Cheers
Chris
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confusedstudent
I have been thinking about the second strategy. I live on a military base in Japan. I started studying in California and moved here with my husband and PICKED IT BACK UP AGAIN LIKE AN IDIOT! But, at that time I hadn't gotten deep into the "study" and realized how creepy it was. Since I do live on a military base though they can NOT stop by my house ever. They are not allowed. And I am starting a full time job next week so I will be extremely busy. I have been unemployed up until now. I am thinking about just telling them I am just simply too busy-it won't be a lie. If they keep pressuring me I figure I will say to them it is probably best I don't continue my studies since my schedule doesn't seem to allow for all the time it takes ot be an active witness. My teacher seems to be a master at guilt trips though. Stuff about how all Brothers and Sisters are able to fit in more than I do and if I just try harder Jehovah will reward my efforts. But my husband has been working 12 hour days 7 days a week in support of the earthquake relief efforts here and the few times he has had off I have ran off to meetings because I feel guilty. That was when I really realized this can't be "the truth". The "truth" is RUINING my marriage.
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Murray Smith
If you're up for it . . . then use the strategy Black Sheep suggested . . . the truth is they will probably label you a waste of time fairly quickly and leave you alone. If they feel there's still a chance for you . . . you will continue to get contacted (they 'count' this time spent which is quite important to them) . . . maybe even for months to come.
If you want a clean break . . . you need to stand your ground against their indoctrination process.
Keep us posted whatever you do . . . we are interested.
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Black Sheep
I don't actually understand what your problem is.
Look at it from the perspective of a baptised born in from a multi-generational JW family. They lose their parents, siblings, grandparents, children, as well as their friends, and they may well not even have a good education.
Just tell them to bugger off. They shouldn't have been knocking on your door teaching you a load of garbage.
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Broken Promises
Isn't there a scripture about not comparing ourselves to others? I can't remember the wording let alone where it is, but I'm sure it's there somewhere. If you were able to use that scripture when your study conductor tries to guilt-trip you she might back off. Maybe not, but you can at least try. I think it's horrible that she's using guilt trips on you so early.
But... if you have a new job that will take up your spare time then you can use this as a good excuse.
As for your questions, write them down and give them to your study conductor. Tell her that you won't even think of another study unless she is able to answer your questions. If anything, it might start her to think her religion.