It was AWESOME! I met so many wonderful people! I'm glad I finally got the chance to go. Dealing with other human beings may not be so bad, after all. So many different personalities, but it felt like I'd known these people forever. Like there would never be enough time to talk to them! I know there's one guy I'm definitely looking forward to chatting with some more--it seems like we married the same woman, for one. And we both love Star Wars! He is a total classic.
But everyone there was great. It is soooo different from all the times I went out as a JW. People only wanted to gossip or talk nonsense--rarely did they even talk meaningfully about spiritual things! I would've actually ENJOYED that! But I felt like I could be myself. It was wonderful. I totally recommend this for everyone who is going through the transition process. If you can find a group in your area, you should go and meet some ex-JWs in person. If you're really brave, you can even start a group.
I've also decided to go to a divorce support group in my area this Tuesday. I've been told that could be dangerous, if some woman there finds me attractive and she's fresh off a divorce and I'm comforting her albeit unintentionally, it could be trouble. I doubt I'm THAT interesting or comforting, but I'll have to keep my eyes open. I'm not in a good place right now, and couldn't even handle a non-serious relationship, much less anything beyond that. "I'll be careful, then." "You'll be DEAD!" "This little one's not worth the effort. Now let me get you something--" "RAAAA!!! RAAAA!" [Fsssh!!] "No blasters! No blasters!" Sorry. I couldn't resist, for some reason. Perhaps it's time for even more Star Wars...
But it's great. Meeting people was a lot easier than I thought. Maybe I really have changed in some ways, I don't know. I admit, I felt a little jealous of the night life as I drove back through the city to go home. Some lovely ladies outside of a bar I passed. But you know, I'm just not the bar kind of guy, clearly. I'm more of a uh, well, I don't know, home kind of guy. It's weird. I was expecting to be grieving a lot more at this point. Maybe it was really that bad, so much that...I don't want to grieve anymore, even though I do feel sad sometimes. I think...part of me deeply desired a chance to be myself and to live as a free man and just...not be ashamed of who I am anymore. I feel like that's only just begun.
But first, I need to box up all this Watchtower literature on this bookshelf, which was a gift from the elder on my judicial committee, but my wife isn't going to take it because she doesn't have space for it at mom-in-law's. I think I shall load it up with Star Wars novels, and moth ball the WT stuff. Some of it is actually mine, but...unless I need firewood, I'm not likely to be opening it anytime soon. Hmm. If I have room, maybe I can see if my parents didn't give away the rest of my Star Wars books and I can put THEM on the shelf too! The opportunities, as boring as they might sound, are limitless.
I actually feel....happy in a way that I never imagined was possible in this life. It may just be this moment, but...hopefully it's the start of many more. "Full ahead, Ensign. Take us out."
--sd-7