Cruel Hearted People

by EXMS 39 Replies latest jw experiences

  • EXMS
    EXMS

    I can't believe how people in the "organization" can be so cold hearted.

    Last October, I got an invitation to a friends wedding where I grew up in Portland, Oregon. I now live in San Diego, California. This friend is still very much a witness and I personally cannot see him ever leaving (in fact, his new wife was in the May 2011 Awake in the YPA section. Her name is Naomi). Anyway, I get a personalized invitation from him in the mail asking to RSVP for his WEDDING and RECEPTION during the end of January 2011. I, of course, immediately RSVP. I told him that it would be hard for me to get up there do to lack of funds, but I WILL be there. I would not miss it. This guy has helped me through thick and thin while a witness. Once I left, not as much. But still, a promised him a long time ago that I would be there for his wedding and I do not break promises. I found out that he and his soon-to-be wife had a gift registry at Target. Looking through the gifts I picked out a high priced item, and marked it on the registry as bought.

    I drove 1200 miles one way to get to Portland, just for the wedding. I figured though, since I was going up there, might as well see some friends and family and made it a week long trip. Now, I understand that the week before your wedding might be hectic. I get that. But when I asked him if we could get together one day before (a week before) the wedding to catch up. He couldn't. He had no time. No time for lunch. No time to get a cup of coffee. Nothing. I finally was able to get him to agree to lunch after I pulled the "I drove 1200 miles to get here" card. Lunch went fine and afterward I dropped him back off at his house. A few weeks before, he wrote me an email asking if he could borrow my snowshoes for his hunny moon, so I gave him those.

    After that, I asked about where the reception was. He pulled me to the side and said there IS a reception, but I wasn't invited. When I showed him is invitation that he sent me, he just said there was no more room. Now, he knows I left, but doesn't know I will never go back. I was told no room, for family only. Come to find out later, it just wasn't me that was invited. Incredibly hurt, I never gave him his gift ( a $70 bar blender), and was really trying to decide whether or not to even go to the wedding. I talked with a few other JW's about it, and some were appalled, some were "what did you expect, you left the FALSE (truth)".

    I did end up going. When I walked in most people that I used to be great friends with, didn't even want to acknowledge my exsistance, like they did in the past. One old friend, no longer friend, nodded. and one other one (who is apparently now an elder and I used to play music with quite a bit) came running up to me and bear hugged me. My back is still hurting lol. The other people that I knew really well, wanted nothing to do with me. They even had a look to them like a, "why are you here? Why aren't you dead yet? Why do you look so successful, your life should be in ruins." I was completely hurt. Right after the wedding I stayed around just long enough to say congrats to the couple and left. To be completely honest, it was really hard for me to not make a scene there. But I figured it was his day. I will have mine, and mine will be full of sweet revenge.

    Has anyone else felt this type of hostility? I thought time would repair things, but I guess not. Even a lifetime friend who left and drove almost 3000 round trip to see him get married and was treated horribly. True friendship only in the "FALSE".....NOT.

  • Aussie Oz
    Aussie Oz

    jw friends are conditional friends.

    conditional on you demonstrating that you beleive the identical concepts as them.

    so sorry you got shafted, that sucks and he should be ashamed.

    oz

  • Joey Jo-Jo
    Joey Jo-Jo

    I would of left him with a black eye...or two, I think that goes beyonde JW doctrination.

  • jookbeard
    jookbeard

    poor show from your buddy and the rest of the assholes, doubt weather you'll be making the trip again.

  • Murray Smith
    Murray Smith

    After receiving the invitation and making contact . . . then making the trip . . . the treatment you received was disgraceful and it is entirely expected that you are hurt and more than a little pissed.

    Yet . . . this is no suprise to me at all. I have had one or two inexplicable events along similar lines.

    Why invite someone just to make them unwelcome? . . . the only explanation I can offer is that JW's have been so mentally warped by their beliefs that they feel they are acting in your best interests . . . shaming you into returning.

    The truth of the matter is that those same beliefs have stripped them bare of any semblance of basic human decency . . . some religion eh?

  • the max
    the max

    Yep, I never met so many asholes as in JW,s. I finally got my sister to study thinking I was doing the right thing.The husband of this lady my sister was studying with used the oppertunity to miss-sell her an insurance policy, she didn,t complete the study.When later on she discovered she had been miss-sold this policy and had lost thousands of pounds as a result, she blamed me, as a then JW, I did not have a leg to stand on,the elder was a conman and a thief. I wont bore you with the many examples I could add here. I wouldnt piss on a witness if he was on fire

  • Pams girl
    Pams girl

    He doesnt deserve a friend like you, hes lost to the org....you need to make new friends who appreciate and respect you. Let him go.

    Best wishes, Paula x

  • Desilusionnee
    Desilusionnee

    EXMS,

    I'm really sorry for what happened to you, even if it's sad to say "it's normal in JW-world.

    In Ma 2009, as I was still a very active JW, something similar happened to me and my husband. His disfellowshipped sister got married a non-JW and we couldn't not attend: She was doing everything to go back to the "truth" and he is such a nice guy!!!

    2 "very good friends" of us (he is an elder and she is a pioneer) became aware of it and since then, they don't "know" us anymore. It was really difficult for me to understand and accept it, but that's life indeed in JW-world: jw friends are conditional friends!!!

    I really don't need such friends...

    Dési

  • ballistic
    ballistic

    Can I have the BAR BLENDER???? Please? ;)

  • Reality79
    Reality79

    *SMHID*

    Then they seriously wonder why ex-jws always have the most to say about the cult than any other person who leaves their religion.

    This is why I'll NEVER attend any witness occassion for any reason. My wife's cousin is getting married in June (her mother's side of the family has always been funny towards me and never liked me that much, while her father's side who are not witnesses have always been good as gold - surprise, surprise....) and I told her no way am I attending. I simply refuse to give anyone the opportunity and pleasure to publically humiliate me like the OP experienced.

    It's a shame you drove 1200 miles and invested in all that fuel for nothing, but it's simply a hard lesson learned - don't ever trust any witnesses. Not even those you were close to.

    Never be fooled by all those typical fake smiles when the reality is a lot more sinister.

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