The meetings used to make me physically sick.

by FifthOfNovember 37 Replies latest jw friends

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  sd-7

  I think once I started to see what kind of people were there, from the top down, I felt unsafe there, emotionally. So...it would make me nervous at times. Once I figured out it was a sham, then it was really unsettling. Once I got kicked out, the panic attacks before a meeting were quite severe. Good thing is, I stopped going, and now, panic attacks are gone.

  I used to wonder why I wasn't happy, when attending the meetings was supposed to make you happy. I felt nothing but inadequacy. Now I know why. It's a relief.

  --sd-7
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  MrFreeze

  Physically sick from meetings? You must be Mary of the six screens fame! Seriously though. I would feel sick to my stomach at meetings.
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  nugget

  My children are much healthier with less stomach aches and headaches since we stopped going. Some were faked but it is because the only acceptable way out of the meetings is illness. This may be why so many JWs suffer from persistent illness.
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  sister x

  WOW!!

  I thought I was the only one, right after I got babtized I had my first anxiety attack at 24, thought I was dying, had to be rushed to the ER and given an EKG..... its all the stress they put on you to conform, you always feel like your not giving or doing enough and that you fall short...... or your constantly expecting Armmegedon to come ANY MINUTE!!! its just too much. Ended up on anti-anxiety meds.

  I developed stomach ulcers and had to take pain meds and coat my stomache with Pepto just to hold down food. I thougt to myself I was just getting older and these things were normal (only 25 yrs old).

  During the meetings I would get so dizzy while sitting in the chair and have panic attacks, I would have to get up, get a drink of water and sit in the bathroom stall for 10 minutes until it went away...

  When I stopped going to the meetings, EVERYTHING WENT AWAY!!! No more anxiety attacks, no more stomache pains, no more panic and dizziness...

  Never knew that the meetings/organizations had that much of an affect on my emotional/physical responses.....

  Michele
• 

  godrulz

  I almost died of boredom and sadness/madness at the Memorial and Conventions. I have never been a JW, just an Acts 1:8 witness of Jesus. JWs funerals are oppressive, like burying a dog (body not even there?!). When I go church, I am filled with love, joy, peace, power, the presence of God. We meet with God and experience the risen Christ by the Spirit. We don't just meet for lectures, indoctrination, dead songs, boring speakers, book studies, salesman training, etc. Worshipping God in spirit and truth is not emotionalism, but being a rigid religionist is not God's intention for His people. The presence of God is not sensed where Christ is not worshipped and the personality of the Holy Spirit is denied. There is a reason JWs do not see healings, miracles, spiritual gifts, joy, power, peace, etc. like many evangelical churches do (they would be like Pharisees and attribute these things and the presence of God to demons/Satan!?).
• 

  life is to short

  When I was at Bethel and would go to the meetings I would get the worse headachs while at the meetings they were so bad I almost felt like I could not see because of the pain. That happened only while I was at Bethel for some reason.

  Then when we came back my heart would race at the meetings so much I thought people could see it pounding in my chest, I felt like I was going to pass out, when we swiched halls that went away and I have not had my heart race since. Strange I know but in that hall they were riding me about my parents and how I was not taking care of them right etc.

  I have always had huge depression in all the halls I have been in. Just walking into a kingdom hall can make me get so down I wish I was not alive.

  I always felt so guilty about it because it was supposed to be such a happy time at the meetings and I hated it so much but I made myself go.

  LITS
• 

  exwhyzee

  I'm seeing a pattern here...aren't you.

  When I was "IN" I blamed the feeling of panic and anxiety on Satan or on my own spiritual lacking. Towards the end, the only way I could get through a meeting or assembly was to bring a container of beer that I would keep in my vehicle. I would go out to the parking lot and take a few sips, just enough to stop the stomach flip flops. I'm not much of a drinker so it didn't take much to calm me down. It really helped.

  My last meeting, 3 or so years ago, was the last time I've felt that way. My subconcious had been sending me physical signals that enough was enough and it was time to end the charade. What a sense of elation it was on meeting nights, not having to go.
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  godrulz

  There is above average incident of mental illness among JWs. The system would make me mentally and physically sick too. This is why I hate false religion and desire to share the freedom and joy of a true relationship with God in Christ.
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  Reality79

  It's no surprise that people would feel physically sick before going to and during the meetings. Lord knows, I've experienced it several times.

  My health has improved a lot now that I'm out that hellish cancer. But try telling that to an active dub and they'll probably say it's because Satan and demons no longer feel the need to attack you now that you're no longer serving the Immortal Big Brother CCTV camera in the sky Jebooovah.
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  Pika_Chu

  Yep. Lots of freak-out panic attacks, sometimes I would get so distraught I'd get sick to my stomach.