Having intense nostalgia-is that bad?

ashitaka

I'm having a wee bout of memory. I've been hearing a lot of the old crew I used to hang out with when I was a JW.

My old best friend, he's getting married soon. We even promised each other to be the other's best man. Hearing a lot about him. He's the one who came over preaching to when it was supposed to be a friendly dinner. He said to my sister the other day, "I wish I hadn't gone over and talked to him. I missed him, and just wanted to have a good time and screwed it up."

Feel kinda bad about that one. I've been demonizing him for months about it. (He doesn't know that) Don't know what I can do though, to rectify anything. Just seems like that relationship is over.

A married friend who was wrongly accused of something called; I had defended him at the time(the last straw fo me never going back) He called and said, "Don't ignore this message. call me!". I couldn't bring myself to call him back. I guess I didn't want to be preached at. He probably feels responsible for me leaving the 'truth'.

Is it dangerous to give in to nostaliga? Should I just run, run, run away from these people? I think I should. Don't know, though. Afraid of setting off the bad Karma detector and having bad stuff happening to me because I'm an asshole.

Should I try to reestablish the old JW relationships, or is it a fruitless cause? Have any of you successfully done so?

Just thinking about things.

ashi

LB

Honestly it's fruitless I think. I suppose their are exceptions but that hasn't been the case for me. Although I'm only inactive my old friends really don't want to do things with me any longer.

If they were to try, I'm sure they would get a backroom visit and be counseled.

Never Squat With Yer Spurs On

ashitaka

LB, I'm not officially DA'd either. But, I'm leaning towards your opinion. Their love's conditional.

ashi

Gopher

Ashi,

It's a tough call! All I know is that, whether you wish it or not, they are programmed a certain way and will only respond to you within the confines of that program. They won't (likely) respond to you the same way you can to them, now that you practice a more accepting type of love and friendship than when you were a good dub.

My thought is that we all go through phases of feelings when exiting the Borg, I have to admit it's true about me anyhow. But the feelings fade.

So if you choose to, just let the feelings fade.

GopherWhy shouldn't truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense.
Mark Twain (1835-1910)

ashitaka

The thing is, I haven't cared for years, and just now I'm wondering if I'M THE ONE shunning them.

?????????????????

LB

I wondered if I was the one shunning them also. But that isn't the case. For example I did make some phone calls and seldom had one returned. When I bumped into one in town I'd always be the one to say hi first. Usually I'd get the comment "I've missed you" but you know what, my phone number is the same and I didn't move.

Last summer I asked one of my witness friends if he wanted to go scuba diving. He said sure at first, then he never seemed to be able to go. Finally I saw him at the library and asked him why he avoids me. I told him we have enough in common that we don't have to discuss religion if that's his concern. He said I'm really a dangerous guy because he has doubts too and if he hung out with someone who gave into his doubts that he would give into his.

He's the only honest one I know I guess.

Never Squat With Yer Spurs On

ashitaka

I guess at least he's honest. More than others would say.

"Dangerous guy"........LOL

ashi

bitter mango

awwwww (((ashi))). dunno what you should do ... prolly whatever you think will cause you the least hurt in the long run. hope you get things figured out, pal!

Latte

Ash,

I am in the same boat as you too! Also I can relate to what your wife is going through, although I’m afraid I don’t have any answers……….

The way I’m dealing with old JW friends is that I am def. withdrawing. I do not wish to be hurt by these people, who I now see for what they are conditional friends. I know a lot has been said about this, it’s a tricky one. I cried my tears over my closest friends over a year now, so there ain’t no tears left.

The peace which leaving has given me has taken about a year, I am Happy.
Should my friends wish to have a ‘how are you?’ chat, then that’s great. I am thoroughly angry though, at the fact that after spending 30yrs++ in this religion, that I CANNOT speak freely about anything relating to it. I am disgusted at these people for judging anyone that uses their brains and thinks a little deeper. I do not wish to be stonewalled. I do intend to stay ‘friends’ with as many as possible as like your friend, just in case they too have doubt’s. I will be there for them…if I can be.

It is difficult when you hear that they are carrying on in this religion. However, in the future you may be surprised (pleasantly) when you hear that others of your friends ‘see the light’ My husband and I have recently heard of several old acquaintances who have stopped attending, one used to be a regular pioneer (a really nice person he was too) so take one day at a time….you never know!

I wish you well

Latte

moman

LB, Whats up cowboy?
I wonder how honest your friend was, if he was realy honest, wouldn't he of told you of his position right away?
Maybe honest, but cowerdly?

DIE BORG DIE!

Having intense nostalgia-is that bad?

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