De-Conversion: Where are you?

by NomadSoul 18 Replies latest jw friends

  • NomadSoul
    NomadSoul

    I thought I shared this post made on http://de-conversion.com.

    I'm in #6. Indifferent.

    ------------------------------------------

    A person de-converts…

    1) Loss

    De-convert feels extremely sad, a sense of loss and remorse, struggling to cope with a worldview without a Personal Deity. Thoughts of meaninglessness and suicide are often overcome by curiosity about the real world that drives the person to learn.

    2) Learning

    De-convert spends massive amounts of time devouring new information, studying whatever topics that can help them overcome their particular questions or issues related to their time in the faith – now that their mind is free from restrictions on what to study. In the same way a starving man may first devour tons of food as soon as he is allowed access, a de-convert begins to devour information to help his or her starving mind and curiosity. This period is normally filled with tons of forum browsing, blog post writing, commenting, reading, debate watching, skeptic society attending, new friend making, etc.

    3) Discovery

    De-convert has learned just how inane their belief system was.

    4) Anger

    De-convert feels angry at everyone who they feel – intentionally or not – lead them wrong. This period is normally filled with attempts to de-convert others, to speak rationally with those still in the faith, and attempts to immunize others who are outside the faith. All of this is done out of the goodwill to keep others from going through the same thing and to rescue those still inside the belief system they now realize is so stupid.

    5) Exasperation

    De-convert’s loving and respectful attempts to speak rationally with those still in the faith become so predictably insane, the de-convert begins to wonder how in the world anyone could ever believe that stuff. All attempts to talk with those inside the faith leave the de-convert feeling helpless and as if communication is impossible.

    6) Indifference

    De-convert begins to feel that all attempts to be respectful toward those in the faith system are useless. Resignation seems to be a common feeling at this point. The de-convert becomes resigned to a world where people believe stupid stuff and there isn’t much you can do about it because reason is undermined in the minds of the faithful. A sense of “it’s not my problem” begins to overcome the individual.

    7) Determination

    Note: this one seems to depend upon how much interaction with religion a person has after leaving the faith and how much perceived harm it is causing in their life.

    The de-convert begins to notice just how much pain and problems faith truly causes because he or she sees how much reason could solve. The attitude begins to shift from resignation and respect of religion to a growing sense of near hatred toward it. Religion itself becomes an enemy like cancer, malaria, or any other disease. This can lead to militant atheism, depending on how much pain the de-convert perceives religion causing in their world. As the de-converts comfort in a worldview without faith begins to strengthen, their determination and confidence rises.

    Where are you in this journey?

  • Morbidzbaby
    Morbidzbaby

    I'm a combination of 2 and 5. I spend a lot of time looking into things, reading, talking, etc. I find my mind was like a dry sponge and as soon as I was given even a drop of knowledge, it just kept wanting to soak up more and more. I love it! However, I find I still can't understand HOW anyone can buy what the WTBTS is trying to sell. And so, in my own way, I try to keep others from getting sucked in and hurt like so many have been. A person is entitled to believe what they want to, but when it borders on completely insane and then spills over into MY life and causes divisions, then I have a problem.

  • Mr. Falcon
    Mr. Falcon

    Interesting thread, Nomad. Although I'm sure that this isn't the only psychological model that exists for an individual undergoing "de-programming" this is a pretty good one.

    Personally, if I applied the above model to myself, I would have to say that I am probably by now in the ballpark of 4) Anger.

    But as Zack de la Rocha said:

    "Anger is a gift."

  • NomadSoul
    NomadSoul

    I could relate to it. I have gone through all those steps. I think we can all relate to the anger and the thirst for knowledge after we leave the JW's.

  • wobble
    wobble

    I wasn't ever converted, but for a born-in the process of freeing oneself from the WT cult is the same as de-conversion.

    I see that I went through the process you describe in the stages you outline, more rather than less.

    I am definately at stage six, and sort of in stage seven, except I am far from being a Militant Atheist, I cannot be bothered to get too exercised about others beliefs, and I am not actually a pure Atheist, in the sense of one who says there is no possibility of a "God".

    I describe myself as a secular humanist, rather proudly, secular humanism is very difficult for anyone to find genuine fault with.

    Thanks for the thread, it is nice to have it confirmed that what I feel, that I have come to the end of the journey away from the WT, is correct.

    Now begins the exciting journey into the free future !

  • Mr. Falcon
    Mr. Falcon

    I think we can all relate to the anger and the thirst for knowledge after we leave the JW's.

    Damn skippy, Nomad! Literature is one of the things that opened me up. Not any kind of anti-cult self help book or Crisis of Conscience (although those are all important books). It was literature - Doestovesky, Shakespeare, Celine, Hemingway, Bukowski, Henry Miller, D. H. Lawrence, Darwin, Nietzsche, etc.

    I guess I figured that since I got screwed out of a real education, I might as well educate myself as best as I could. Best decision I ever made. Suddenly all kinds of different perspectives were open to me. I saw people as individuals, each with their own beliefs, reasons and circumstances. You learn to respect other people's feelings. You don't always have to agree with their ideas or feelings, but you can at least understand your fellow human instead of simply writing him off as a "dead duck" when he tells you that he's not interested in the Watchtower & Awake on a Saturday morning.

  • leavingwt
    leavingwt

    I'm over it.

    I also understand why so many people love and enjoy religion. I did, too, at one point.

  • saltyoldlady
    saltyoldlady

    This is a very interesting analysis of the de-convert process. Thank you for it. I'm pretty much in stages 2 and 3. Hope I never reach the indifference and determination pegs. I will be on the lookout to see I avoid those pegs.

  • Found Sheep
    Found Sheep

    I think mainly step 6 but some days I am in all 7 stages at once

  • unshackled
    unshackled

    I'm bouncing around between 4 and 6...and sometimes 7. Depends on how much coffee I've had.

    Agree with Falcon's Zach de la Rocha quote "Anger is a gift". We wouldn't have gotten rid of slavery without a heavy dose of anger.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sjDPWP5GKQA

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