Palmie, I remember your thread about how badly you were treated.
It made me weep.
Syl
JWs who do a "disappearing act" because of damaging gossip and trouble in the hall
by LongHairGal 40 Replies latest jw experiences
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Found Sheep
ug! I was gossiped about a lot and hate to say it as a pioneer that's what we did. talk about everyone else. good bad whatever. Now I hate gossip if i hear things at work I try to stop it. I don't judge they way I did as a JW. as a teen JW it was pure bullying i think
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itscrap&theyknowit!
This is simply amazing to see how universal this is! I have NEVER liked it. My parents taught us well in never becoming a part of it. Being married to an elder, at the time, sisters in field service EXPECTED me to know stuff and if I did...why am I not telling them! I was appalled because MORE THAN ANYTHING....THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TRUTH!!!! Why are we gossiping about things we ought not? Yes, it is a destroyer!
I remember, years ago, I had a gathering in my home. Some sisters got to 'gossiping'. I controlled the enviroment and was like stop it! Not in my house! I don't gossip! I deplored it! Well, to my surprise, the brothers called my husband and I got mixed up in their SH** in the backroom! I had NEVER been in the backroom and was beyond the highest pissivity there has ever been!!!!! The lies that went on were out of sonic proportions!!! JW's telling lies to cover their own ass'?????? YUP!!!!!
And, because I nolonger attend, I am part of the gossip-trail. I just wished some of it was true because I'd be one rich and expensive whore of some famous baller!!!! How can I wish that for myself????
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Morbidzbaby
Oh the rumor mill is always grinding away... For instance, there is an elder in a local congregation whose wife cheated on him twice, once with another brother, and once with a worldling. The first time, he forgave her but she was DF'ed. The second time, he kicked her to the curb and she was again DF'ed. She's still with the guy she cheated with, had a baby with him, etc. She was at the assembly (so I was told) with her baby and her "new" man because her son begged her to come see him get baptized (he's like...11). The shit that my parents spewed about her when they came home made me absolutely SICK. They called her a "skank", a "whore", a "slut"... My father seems to think she was making advances at ALL the brothers in the hall when she was in. I think ONE person said he saw her flirting with someone, and all of a sudden, that makes her a total prostitute and she must have been screwing or trying to screw ALL the brothers. The crap that's floating around about her is ridiculous...and most of it perpetuated by her own ex, who is STILL an elder in good standing. I've heard him call her house "the landfill", "the garbage dump", etc because he considers her to be trash. And he says that stuff in front of her kids!
My own ex has perpetuated lies and rumors about me back in the states we were from because he never actually put a stop to them when he got wind of them. He knew something to be untrue, yet he just passively ignored it instead of telling the person they actually had it wrong. His mother is GUILTY of spreading rumors and gossip about me. One of my old congos thought I was disfellowshipped because someone from there went to a convention where my ex lives and saw him with my kids and his new wife! So I just HAD to be DF'ed, right? They spread the rumor that I was and an entire congregation (and then some) believed it. It took my dad going up there and talking to one of the elders and his wife and telling them I am, in fact, NOT disfellowshipped and they need to set everyone else straight. Rumors about me have spread over entire CONTINENTS because of my ex and his family.
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mrsjones5
My dear cousin (who is a lifelong jw but very liberal) eloped and married her husband (a nonjw with no plans of ever becoming a jw) over 20 years ago. They were going to have a wedding but from what she told me things started going sideways because her fiance was not a jw and rumors started going around about why they were getting married. Even after they eloped one rumor was still going around that they got married because my cousin was pregnant. My cousin wasn't pregnant and had her first child two years after she married.
Last year we talked about what happened and she asked me if I had heard the rumors and gossip that she was pregnant and had to get married and I said no (I had left by then and was severely out of the loop, besides I don't gossip). Then she asked if I had heard that stuff would I have believed it. And again I said no. I know my cousin, she was 28 and a virgin when she married and she had always told me that she would wait for her first time to be with her husband and I believed her.
I think she still feels hurt over the gossip.
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snowbird
JW's think they have a monopoly on being virtuous.
I know many non-JW's who are just as moral as any JW, some even more so.
Syl
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Mat
It always amazed me, that with all the things that go on in a congregation, that all the meetings seemed to teach us was how important is was to keep coming to our meetings! Towards the end of when I stopped going I started to notice that that was the only thing every scripture seemed to say, or any watchtower article! I thought - I come to the meetings to be instructed by the spitit only to be told to keep coming to our meetings to be instructed... etc.
I think the elders are just weak henpecked cowards that daren't say anything that will upset their precioius pampered other halfs!
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White Dove
Gossip and in-fighting among the sisters and the passivity of the elders about it is what ruined what could have been a very nice year of pioneering and making friends.
That year showed me what all the congregations are like, to a more or lesser degree, but still all of them have it.
I've been to many congregations and they are all alike as far as gossiping and treatment of divorced moms.
Every damn one of them cause harm to others.
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No Room For George
I'm concerned about all of you on this thread. You've left Jehovah because of the actions and speech of imperfect people. All of you need reminded of Ephesians 4:2 where it says we should, "continue putting up with one another." None of you waited on Jehovah to straighten out the petty rumors and gossip prevalent in the congregation. Instead you acted presumptuously, thinking you knew better than Jehovah, and you've left the spiritual paradise found only in the true Christian congregation. Now all of you are experiencing spiritual shipwreck.