Hello wounderfull people, i would like to thank everyone for they help before, but i still need moral support, i have made my mind up and i want to thanks a member of the Aussie Team Olympic team for responding to my email. It really means a lot for me when i don't have any real friends when a Olympic Athlete responds to your email and cares. She gave me good advice and told me it's possible even thought my situation is hard, that really gave me hope and it was that push that i need to start thinking seriously. She also on her FB fan wall said this "The sacrifices that you make as an athlete are HUGE!". In my case my scarifies are going to be huge i will have to give up everything i know and do a lot of explaining to so many people why i picked this path. My parents will be very disappointed, but maybe they will see the light before i get to the Olympics or do any races.
Anyway interesting point that she made in the email was this "I don't understand why you can't do both, be a Jehovah's witness and live your dream? I not sure what the beliefs are in your religion but if there are boundries that stop you from doing what you love, seems a bit strange" This also caused me to do some more thinking, yes the JW are strange, I have no idea what to write back to her, but i told here to keep reading my blog and she will understand soon enough.
Currently there is lot's of tension building up in the house, and it's becoming mentally hard for me to endure. I just hate my life and somedays i would rather be dead then alive. My mom's lecturing's everyday about JW stuff, study more and you talk to the wrong people in the Hall, don't talk to sisters to much, talk more to the elders, be more happy in service, raise your hand higher, give more comments, be more friendly, your tie is not straight, your going in service not to a funeral so be happy, he's not baptized so don't be a close friend to him, don't read too much worldly magazines, stop talking about snowboarding in service, be more spiritual, don't call worldly family too much, and the list goes one and one, then when i'm home alone she calls every 10 mins to make sure what i'm doing, then she nags to i should be studying the bible!
After meetings if i don't do something right her nagging with my depression kills me, i really feel like committing suicide. Some days i can't take it anymore. Also today she read me to me from the watchtower to avoid worldly association with unbelievers, then she mentioned i should not Skype my cousin to often, i was so upset but i kept my cool.
On a positive note i don't have to much time and it's late here i want to sleep. i'm starting to blog. visit my blog comment and follow. it really helps i need all the support i can get! http://sochiolympicgames.blogspot.com/ that's my blog start on the first post and work your way up, it's going to be a long story, there is no JW points yet but they will come, if i ever do get in the olympics my blog will be my revenge to the governing body because i will publish it into a book, then after the olympic promote it and hopeful people will read it and someone will get inspired and not give up! Pls email me the i will check in here more often it's fun reading the posts,
Good night! Sorry if you messaged me and i did not reply. i don't check here often and i'm facing a crisis at the moment.