by What Now? 37 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
And you never hear the ones about the brother driving home from the special talk and having another driver plow into his rear-end at a stop light totaling the car (thankfully the brother wasn't hurt).
Or the one about the family of four JWs murdered after stopping off at a diner coming home from an assembly (that happened in a southern state about a decade ago).
Or the one about the JW Elder and his wife murdered by their 16-year-old son (80's Willie Carlson case).
Or, or...
I knew a "brother" who was coming home from a meeting one stormy night and had a tree crash through his windscreen.
He was put in a coma and was in hospital for many weeks.
The example of the worldly family VS the perfect JW family. NAUSEATING.
Worldly family/ REALISM:
Mother is on the phone to a business client
Father says to daughter: "What did you do at school today?"
Daughter: "nothing. I'm out of here, I'm going to a party."
Daughter runs off stage.
Father: "Where at?"
Daughter: "I'm not telling you!"
Father gets ignored by his wife who is still on the phone.
Father gets out his phone.
"Hey rob? Let's go to the pub!"
The whole family disappears off stage.
The end.
JW Family:
The mother and kids are all sitting on the couch reading the Watchtower when the father comes home. (I laughed out loud.)
He sits down with them and asks them all what they did that day. They, of course, were out witnessing.
"Was it fun?"
The kid replies "Yes, it's always fun."
Then they start discussing their favorite scriptures! This deliberately went much longer than the worldly family skit to show just how much time the witness families spend together. Discussing scriptures.
Then the father says "How about we all go witnessing together tomorrow, and afterward let's call some other WITNESS families to join us for a picnic."
Oh man, it was hilarious.
And proving how stupid a JW is, during a monologue on finances, the woman said "We're just going to have to do sacrifices." It's MAKE sacrifices, idiot.
Wow. Gang rape. Classy.
I remember hearing about a JW girl who bought a "Girl Talk" game at a tag sale. In addition to it being a game that encouraged young girls to be oversexed gossips (perfect training for being an elderette, I guess?), it was bought from a worldly family that was known for watching "horror movies about poltergeists." (I guess the elder didn't want to say "They watched the movie 'Poltergeist,'" lest someone go look it up?) One of the demons from the movie escaped the television set, got into the game, and then it entered the JW girl's house. Her father had a car accident a week later and almost died, leaving him out of work for months and sinking the family into poverty. Fortunately, the JW girl realized immediately that her game had caused this to happen, so she threw it out, prayed on the matter, confessed to the elders, and was thereby saved from a life of demon-transmitted syphilis.
Even then, I thought that was the dumbest thing I'd ever heard.
Anybody else remember this tale?
Two pioneer sisters decide to reward themselves at the end of the service year by taking a cruise. One of them has too much to drink, dances with a worldly guy, and ends up doing the horizontal hokey pokey.
The next day she gets a present from her lover. He says not to open it until she gets back home. The present turns out to be a miniature coffin. With it is a note that reads "Welcome to the world of AIDS".
I also heard a CO recite this poem to the cong:
"A Pizza, a Party, and a Moonlight Ride"
Jenny was so happy about the house they had found. For once in her life 'twas on the right side of town.
She unpacked her things with such great ease, as she watched her new curtains blow in the breeze.
How wonderful it was to have her own room. School would be starting; she'd have friends over soon.
There'd be sleepovers, and parties; she was so happy. It's just the way she wanted her life to be.
On the first day of school, everything went great. She made new friends and even got a date!
She thought, "I want to be popular and I'm going to be, Because I just got a date with the star of the team!"
To be known in this school you had to have clout, And dating this guy would sure help her out.
There was only one problem stopping her fate. Her parents had said she was too young to date.
"Well I just won't tell them the entire truth. They won't know the difference; what's there to lose?"
Jenny asked to stay with her friends that night. Her parents frowned but said, "All right."
Excited, she got ready for the big event. But as she rushed around like she had no sense,
She began to feel guilty about all the lies, But what's a pizza, a party, and a moonlight ride?
Well the pizza was good, and the party was great, But the moonlight ride would have to wait.
For Dan was half drunk by this time. But he kissed her and said that he was just fine.
Then the room filled with smoked and Dan took a puff. Jenny couldn't believe he was smoking that stuff.
Now Dan was ready to ride to the point, but only after he'd smoked another joint.
They jumped in the car for the moonlight ride, not thinking that he was too drunk to drive.
They finally made it to the point at last, And Dan started trying to make a pass.
A pass is not what Jenny wanted at all (and by a pass, I don't mean playing football.)
"Perhaps my parents were right....maybe I am too young. Boy, how could I ever, ever be so dumb."
With all of her might, she pushed Dan away: "Please take me home, I don't want to stay."
Dan cranked up the engine and floored the gas. In a matter of seconds they were going too fast.
As Dan drove on in a fit of wild anger, Jenny knew that her life was in danger.
She begged and pleaded for him to slow down, But he just got faster as they neared the town.
"Just let me get home! I'll confess that I lied. I really went out for a moonlight ride."
Then all of a sudden, she saw a big flash. "Oh God, Please help us! We're going to crash!"
She doesn't remember the force of impact. Just that everything all of a sudden went black.
She felt someone remove her from the twisted rubble, and heard, "Call an ambulance! These kids are in trouble!"
Voices she heard...a few words at best. But she knew there were two cars involved in the wreck.
Then wondered to herself if Dan was all right, and if the people in the other car were alive.
She awoke in the hospital to faces so sad. "You've been in a wreck and it looks pretty bad."
These voices echoed inside her head, as they gently told her that Dan was dead.
They said, "Jenny, we've done all we can do. But it looks as if we'll lose you too."
"But the people in the other car!?" Jenny cried. "We're sorry, Jenny, they also died."
Jenny prayed, "Jehovah, forgive me for what I've done- I only wanted to have just one night of fun."
"Tell those people's family, I've made their lives dim, and wish I could return their families to them."
"Tell Mom and Dad I'm sorry I lied, And that it's my fault so many have died.
Oh, nurse, won't you please tell them that for me?" The nurse just stood there-she never agreed.
But took Jenny's hand with tears in her eyes. And a few moments later Jenny died.
A man asked the nurse, "Why didn't you do your best, to bid that girl her one last request?"
She looked at the man with eyes so sad. "Because the people in the other car were her mom and dad."
This story is sad and unpleasant but true, So young people take heed, it could have been you.
(Never mind that it was originally a "worldly" poem.)
Perhaps if Jenny and her parents had taken blood transfusions they would have pulled through LOL.
At our assemblies they were always having experiences of teenagers who had resisted Satan's temptations to engage in worldly pursuits, etc., and how happy they were to be in Jehovah's service. Clyde and I would often look at each other and ask, "Wonder where they will be in two or three years. Will they still be around?" I bet that 4 out of 5 of them were either disfellowshipped or just disappeared--and often within a year.
Oh - an elder in our congregation a few years ago told about how he worked for this little printing company and often had an opportunity to work overtime on Saturdays but resisted the temptation so he could go in field service. What he didn't tell them was, he was actually VP of a large printing company, made 3 or 4 times as much as the workers, had his home and cars paid for, and was on salary rather than hourly, so it didn't matter if he worked extra hours or not.
Bonnie
Oh yes, I love the examples of rebellious (nameless) youths, who go to university because they're materialistic and 'puffed up' with pride. Before their bags are even unpacked, these yunguns are smoking, doing drugs, and fornicating with anything that moves. If they're using a girl as the example, she inevitably ends up pregnant and if it's a guy, he inevitably gets a girl pregnant and/or gets AIDS and their lives are ruined. Why? "...Because they went against the faithful and discreet slave." 
They then hold up some poor sap who began to pio-sneer right out of high school and how glorious his life is. Of course, they wouldn't dare interview someone who's gone to university, who now has a successful job anymore than they would interview those who heeded the advice from the May 22, 1969 Awake! magazine that "....If you are a young person, you also need to face the fact that you will never grow old in this present system of things" and who will end up dying without a pot to piss in, or a window to fire it out of.
What I always found so annoying was the way it was always presented. The drones being interviewed sounded ridiculous and over-rehearsed as did the questions being asked. They couldn't make it realistic at all and the entire thing was about as believable as an episode from Saturday Night Live.......at least that was entertaining.
Mary,
JW kids lie their asses off, they are usually doing all those things BEFORE they go to Uni.
JK
