What Qualities Do You Look For In A Man?!?!?! (page 7)

slipnslidemaster

What qualities do you look for in a man?

Me.

Slipnslidemaster: "Just because I look sexy on the cover of Rolling Stone doesn't mean I'm naughty."
- Britney Spears

safe4kids

Geez, I can't believe no one's mentioned breathing yet...that's like my first consideration!!!

Other than that, I'm very attracted to men with a dry and/or goofy sense of humor (matches mine); intelligent but not arrogant; sensitive and compassionate; kind; gentle; dark haired (preferably loooooooonnnnngggg hair, and facial hair goes over very well too!); someone who is natural and is comfortable with me being the same. A guy who is thoughtful enough to surprise me with a flower he picked, a card for no reason, a phone call when I'm least expecting it...someone comfortable enough with his feelings that he doesn't forget to express them...frequently! Did I mention long dark hair??

K, that's just the start of my dream guy; I could go on and on. I guess what I'd like to find is a soul mate but I'm not sure such a thing exists but hey! I'd love to be proven wrong!

Dana

OUTLAW

Hey Ana,what a beautiful post,you are a romantic.....OUTLAW

Valis

What Some of these things really mean:

Intelligent= You know better than to stare at other women in my presence.

Sense of humour=You let me drive.

Loved or loves his parents=its OK if they are still JWs.

Loves children=Will pay child support on time.

Has interests of his own, no matter what they are=Has VIP membership to local strip club.

Cares and/or likes animals...a must if he's going to put up with me!=Doggie style is in.

Takes care of physical appearance=Shaves at least once a wekk.

Has an interest in others/caring=Thinks her friends are cute.

Senses my mood changes=Knows when your not getting a piece.

Shares tears and happiness with me=Will watch girlie movies.

Share good chemistry with me...I think this is important=Isn't stingy with the dope.

Enjoys being pampered=Is into baby fetish.

Loves affection...lots of it=Enjoys a good shag in public places.

Gives affection=Oral Sex

Likes spending time with me, but also likes his own company on occassion=Will talk to you while the game is on.

Is exciting in bed and has a sex drive that equals my own=Swingers are cool.

Loves to make love on impulse=has Playboy in the bathroom.

Looks are not important to me, but I like men with beautiful eyes and beautiful hands; masculine hands that have touched the earth=No prison tattoos or eye patches.

I like a man that loves to be touched=Hand jobs are in the realm of possibility.

The type of man that will be dead tired from work and yet will get up and cook me bacon, eggs and tomato....and think I didn't notice=Will settle for egg mcmuffin if necessary.

He'll smile at me sensually and I'll pretend I didn't notice=He might be handy when the batteries are dead.

He'll put out water for birds, and I'll pretend I didn't notice=Duck hunters wanted.

He'll make coffee with loads of cream when it should have been my turn; I'll pretend I didn't notice=Will share hangover remedy.

He'll chase me through vineyards when I'm crying, and I'll pretend I didn't notice=Too much wine is a bad thing.

He'll light sensual candles, put on soft music, and I'll pretend it is ordinary=Especially when he still gets none.

He'll love me in the night, and I'll ask him if I dreamed=Its OK for one of us to be asleep.

He'll tell me he loves me, but I allow it to pass as if I didn't notice=Say it or else!

He'll bring me a red rose.....he saw I noticed.....and I pretended I didn't notice him noticing my tears=How dare you forget our aniversary!

He'll ask me to marry him on a day I look ghastly; a day I am covered in water, hair all touseled, and crying about something I don't remember. I will feel like the happiest woman on earth=He wears glasses, but they're misplaced at the moment.

I will get on a plane, fly away, if only for a while, he will follow the plane in his car with his hand raised in farewell as it flies higher and higher; my hand pressed against the window, tears blinding my view......and we will both know we noticed="I'm going to mom's until you stop acting like an ass."

Sincerely,

District Overbeer

Mindchild

...lookin' at th' all th' qualificashuns thet some of yo' ladies have, no wonner some of us blokes is jest scratchin' our haids an' lookin' fo' thet URL thet has mail o'der babes.

Sheesh, thin's used t'be simple in th' past. All us guys had t'do back then was jest offer a hungry woomin a bite o' two outta our drumstick an' pull her into our cave by th' hair. Then yo' babes had t'go git civilized on us an' ruin a fine thin'! Fry mah hide! Now, we hafta share bank accounts, give up th' Po'che fo' a Volvo stashun wagon, haf a college degree an' a fine payin' job wif a 401K. An' t'add insult t'injury, yo' guys be hankerin' us t'be romannic too?

An' even thet sex thang, acco'din' t' th' code o' th' heells!..fine dadburn it used t'be a simple matter of havin' th' urge an' lookin' aroun' fo' th' nearess female o' th' opposite sex an' wham, bang, hey yo' got mah furs dirty. Now, us pore guys gotta does loooonnnngggggg fo'eplay, knows creative an' kinky ways t'have sex, prackice religiously Tantric Sex, an' allus make sho'nuff she cums! Whare is th' jestoice in thet ah ax yo' feller cavemen an' on overbeers?

Th' final insult was dat th' dadburn Bo'g less down an' all da ho'ny babes got out an' got street smart. Now they knows we kin't shove em aroun' an' bost them an' all thet. Dawgone it is a tough life out thar. ah's gittin' serious blisters on mah han's guys an' these babes is not he'pin' thin's one bit! Fry mah hide! ah say we brin' back th' fine old days agin an' let th' men be th' kin's.

Oh, whut was thet? Yessuh, dear ah will be right thar. No, ah warn't writin' fantasies agin on th' computer. It was a serious post. Really. Oh, ah's so'ry Mammy ah promise not t'do it agin. Do we pow'ful hafta git out th' whips an' chains agin? ah pow'ful larned mah lesson! Fry mah hide!

Skip'a

expatbrit

I've reached the somewhat bitter conclusion that what women really want is another woman with harder muscles and a dick.

Expatbrit

David Gladden

Damn... mens' requirments tend to be much more simple:

The woman must be breathing, hot, and with a functional vagina.

dirty larry

Yer Ladonna, I was just readin your post before. Cant make any bloody sense out of it at all.
I was lookin to see if we might have had anything in common.
About the only thing I could spot was that you like a bloke with dirty hands.
Mine're pretty dirty sometimes after Ive finished cleaning out the cow shed.Course. They havent touched the "earth" as such, but they ve touched stuff thats been eaten whats grown OUT of the earth. So we almost got a point of agreement there.

But thats about it lovey.Shame really.
Sorry to let you down.

I mean, whats this: "Loves to make love on impulse"?
Why the bloody hell would I want to have a screw on the bonnet of the car? Theres a bed inside the house.

"Put water out for birds"?
The only thing we do with bloody birds here is shoot the mongrel bastards. They eat all the crops.
Youve gotta face up to the hard realities of life on the land sugar plum.

"Make coffee when it should have been my turn"?
Stone the Bloody crows! Yer jokin arent ya!?!
You makes the bloody coffeee when I snap me fingers...ALL the time!
Jeessusss.

your runnin thru a vineyard cryin,and you want him to chase you
so you can pretend you dont want him to chase you then he can pretend he doesnt see you??
Jeez Ladonna, I confess, youre a sexy lookin bird but youre too bloody convoluted for me!
Aussie man hunger...good luck mate. Shes all yours.

peaceloveharmony

LMAO @ you guys!

i want a man that makes me melt with desire and will love all of me (including all my quirks and craziness)

Valis

i want a man that makes me melt with desire and will love all of me (including all my quirks and craziness)=likes hot wax and lick from head to toe (including my belly button pictures, lint and all)

Sincerely,

District Overbeer

What Qualities Do You Look For In A Man?!?!?!

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