I know how you are feeling faundy . . . believe me I do. I too suffer from depression/anxiety although in recent times I have been able to divest myself of dependence on meds . . . it has taken many years however.
I take a lot of stock from Christs warning to "be on your guard against men" . . . and apart from his own words, much of what we come to read or believe is just that . . . the words of men. In time I felt a personal connection with Christ . . . not so much as a person, but as a reflection of all that is good about humanity. It is a connection that finds a good deal of agreement with the "inner person" and so does not need the intermediary involvement of men or man-made institutions. It's hard to explain, but I feel it harmonises with the energy that animates us and inhabits all of the physical world. It's almost a trust that develops . . . which dispels all fear and uncertainty. It allows me to live and accommodate the "unknown" knowing that I cannot be accountable for that which I cannot know for sure, and therefore is not fully trustworthy. This has come to mean for me "faith" . . . not in the declarations or assertions of men, but in the goodness of the source of my reason for being.
In this way Christ becomes "the way and the truth and the life" to me. If I may suggest . . . read his words as much as you can . . . in it's pure narrative form . . . and get a feel for the nature of his teaching rather than looking for knowledge or instruction . . . pray to him also . . . and give some time to the process . . . periods of doubt and uncertainty will come and go . . . but for me . . . in time I found harmony . . . and it is dependent on nothing and nobody, and so cannot be taken away.