Hello, Hi and Heys! I'm new

by PinkPajamasx 41 Replies latest jw friends

  • PinkPajamasx
    PinkPajamasx

    Hello everyone, I am not nor ever been a JW.

    I'm a 40 year old mother of 2 and I am married to a wonderful man who serves as a Naval Chief in the United States Navy. We have been married 15 years and life is beautiful. I knew a little about Jehovah's Witnesses until recently. My in-laws are JWs and my hubby grew up one as well. My husband left for Afghanistan January 1st, 2010 and my in-laws have always been there for me but some things started to change. I honestly had a mental breakdown while my husband was deployed and went to see a Catholic Priest for some guidance. He started talking to me and asked if religion is in my life and I told him no because I do not believe all the Catholic Church wants me to believe. He asked if other religion or people putting their religious beliefs on me could be causing such heavy hearted feelings. I thought about it and YES, my in-laws were constantly leaving those Watchtower and Awake magazines around my house. They were also telling me to trust in Jehovah even if I don't call God that. They started telling me my horror stories are inviting evil spirits and I should stop watching them. They try to tell my children how to pray and leaving them text messages about doing Jehovah's will. What the heck is that? So all in all the priest told me to stand my ground and tell them to back off and I am responsible for my children's religious beliefs. This priest has a Masters in religion so I trust his advice.

    For years I put up with b/s from in-laws. In 1993 my babygirl passed away from SIDS and a good friend of my family placed a beautiful solid gold rosary blessed by the Pope around my sweet Allana's hand. I caught my father in-law asking my husband while holding the coss, "what is this crap" and dropping it down on my baby's lifeless body. I told my father right away and my pops was watching from then on. My husband would torment me that my daughter wasn't with God and that she was in Haydes. I hated him so much back then.

    My husband kinda had the same feelings towards JWs after so many years. On his recent deployment he spent numerous hours looking up what we now call a cult. I was doing the same and both of us didn't tell each other. What I found made me sick to my stomach. I shook my mental breakdown off and knew I was stronger then these people who follow a man made religion.

    Ok, hubby is home now and we get to talking about it. Of course me loving the internet have found more dirt on that orginazation than he. I finally confronted my mother in-law. She said JW is only true religion yadda yadda yadda! For years, I had sat through them putting down Catholics and it was finally my turn. I asked her is Catholics are so bad then why do we build hospitals to treat all denominations? Why do we have charities to feed, clothe and house the poor? Why do we have schools to teach EVERYONE? Her response, "Jehovah Witnesses have a school in Long Beach, CA" I was like WTF! So I asked her, "me being Catholic, can I attend or my children attend that school" BOOOOOOM! Just silence!

    I have so much more to say and I know i have taken up too much time and space, hehe.

    BTW, I have been on this site for awhile as a scared lurker. I can't help but to have compassion for you all and have cried about some of your stories. I do love the wit and humor and I share with my husband.

    Thanks for listening,

    Pink

  • snowbird
    snowbird

    Welcone, Pink.

    The WT religion can really mess with a person's disposition.

    I'm so sorry to hear about your little girl, but I'm glad you and your husband are finally on the same page.

    Blessings to you and yours.

    Syl

  • ABibleStudent
    ABibleStudent

    Welcome PinkPalamasx, I am sorry to hear about your problems with your in-laws and your loss of your daughter. I hope and pray that you and your husband have a long and happy marriage together. I am curious what your husband thoughts are about his parents beliefs and whether he was baptized a JW? I look forward to more posts from you.

    Peace be with you and everyone, who you know,

    ABibleStudent

  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5

    Welcome to the board Pink.

  • PinkPajamasx
    PinkPajamasx

    Thanks Snowbird

    It's been a long battle but so happy to have a husband that respects me as an equal. For years I was told I am lesser then and would never be his equal. Thank God he now is finally coming to light about this. I once asked him a question about John 1:1 and he said I don't know the bible. I yelled at him and told him neither does he because the NWT book is distorted to fit the WT doctrine. He said I was right on that.

    I hear him walking off calling his mom to question everything I show and tell him. Not questioning me but her. He yelled at her that he never knew the story of Lot and his daughters. It always turns into a shouting match over the phone and the last words she said about me is that I am putting a bad influence on him. He told her that he's seen it with his own eyes and I am there to verify it. She won't speak to me with that anger but calls me to conversate. She's very hesitant like she wants to say more.

    I am happy to say the last conversation my mother in-law was asking my husband to find a church for her. I think it's a start and all the info we have shown her is putting a doubt about the JWs in her head...

  • RagingBull
    RagingBull

    Welcome.

    You're lucky you were not a JW ever. It is a cult...we all know it, but the GB won't allow people to FREELY express themselves. How about that. Such AGAPE. LOL

  • snowbird
    snowbird
    I am happy to say the last conversation my mother in-law was asking my husband to find a church for her. I think it's a start and all the info we have shown her is putting a doubt about the JWs in her head...

    Well, good for her and him.

    Christianity shouldn't be about rules and regulations and all that drama.

    Just love for God and neighbor.

    May y'all find a safe and peaceful path.

    Syl

  • FirstLastName
    FirstLastName

    I am happy to hear that your husband came home safe from his tour. I understand the stress that can cause on a family - my brother is back from Afghanistan last month.

    I am very sorry to hear of your loss. No doubt they thought they were being helpful, when in fact, doing the opposite. My parents and other brother are still "in" and I have always found their view on the world slanted and slightly elitist.

    Welcome to the board - you are in good company.

  • PinkPajamasx
    PinkPajamasx

    ABibleStudent-he was never baptized. His parents didn't talk to him for 2 months after the initial confrontation on their religion. He knows that pain of being isolated because he grew up in "the truth" and knows never to question their doctrine.

    Thank you Mrs Jones I read a lot of your replies to posts. They make me smile.

  • skeeter1
    skeeter1

    Welcome!

    I am a born-in, raised in ex-JW. I am about your age, and with kids. Some of my older relatives are still JWs or are friendly towards JW doctrine. They are always there to criticize my parenting in that it doesn't follow Jehovah's rules. I allow my kids to join clubs, sports, dance, etc. That is not allowed. I allow my kids to have birthday parties and to go to thier friends' birthday parties. That is not allowed either in JW land. I allow my kids to celebrate holidays and watch scary movies. Also, not allowed. I gear my kids to attend college. You guessed it, frowned upon. I used to get all sorts of flack from my relatives. I put a stop to it.

    First, I told my relativest to speak with my husband if they ddin't like how we raised our kids. You see, the husband is the spiritual head of this household. Since he agrees with how we raise our kids (i.e. he is anti-JW), there is nothing they can do. They never approached him, btw.

    Second, I told my relatives that I see nothing wrong with my parenting style. I have very happy kids who are well liked in school and are doing just fine and dandy. I point to the misguided JW kids that "go wild" and the 67% that leave the cult (PEW study).

    Third, I told my relativest that I researched the Watch Tower for several months and read many accounts. I told them that I thought it was a cult because it fit the definitions used by psychologists. I told them to put me on their "do not all list."

    Finally, I told my relatives and my children that I have instructed my children that if anyone talks with them about God, Jehovah, Christ, the Bible, Heaven, Hell, Religion, etc.... my children are trained to stop the person and say, "I can only talk about religion with you if my parents are both present."

    .....

    The problem with having relatives who are in a cult, is that their only mission is to recruit you and your family into the cult. They are robots. And, if your in-laws are older...they may be trying to get right with Jehovah since they are about to die. So, you have to make a careful decision as to how much you try to deprogram them, if at all. For some, it's just too hard to realize their life was a lie or that they dedicated their life to a cult. There is a reason they became cult memberes, and it will destroy some people if they face that reason.

    Skeeter

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