ROXANESOPHIA: In my case the love-bombing ceased when they realized they couldn't manipulate me or take advantage of me. It also didn't help that I asked questions that a thinking person would ask. Too bad I didn't exit early on. What regrets! I could have saved myself wasted years.
Reasons "love bombing" ceases
by roxanesophia 17 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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roxanesophia
IsaacJ22, your story is awful! Apart from the getting out of it part. I'm glad I came here, and i'm glad i have the brain to see through all the false love. MAYBE, these people i'm accusing of backstabbing me in every breath are genuinely good people, but after reading your experience, thats not a risk i want to take. Mostly they use cult talk at the moment like "You're one of us." But then say I'm not because I'm not baptized. Oh please, they surely think I'm an idiot. Well , i know they do, because I'm a reader, writer, researcher, and my knowledge extends past what the Watchtower teaches, and they think they are superior as far as education goes when the 'God' they serve strives to keep them stupid. SO SAD! I figure that because i do have have the knowledge i have and have no plans to give up researching everything I read, I'd probably be disfellowshipped before my hair dried.
And i have felt like you did... Are they the right religion? If so why do i feel so unhappy? It was almost turning me off God. Like i mentioned in my first post, when i thought it was in my heart to do 'Jehovah's will' and i was preparing to meet with the elders, I prayed, and all this 'apostate' stuff that makes all the sense in the world comes to me. My teacher clapped her hands with glee as if the devil was doing his job. OH SPARE ME. And when i wasn't progressing fast enough, she says i must own something satanic or be watching something, reading something, involved in SOMETHING that the devil is using to hold me back. And this genuinely freaked me out for a few nights...
And ASTOUNDING, that even though you can be in their hall, progressing, and being treated like gum on the back of an elders shoe, the second you abandon them, they're concerned and loving. Which, when i was in a worse state, totally would have fallen for. WOW... thats really bizarre. I shudder to think what i almost got myself into.
as far as association goes, i think i'm being kept away at this stage from spiritually strong people, AND on the flipside the spiritually weak ones. It's like I'm bad association to the former group, and too good for the latter and they might stumble me with their behavior. I can tell because in the hall, someone will join me and the person i'm talking to depending on who it is. I can get stuck talking to 80 yr old women for an hour with no escape person in sight, but as soon as i'm with a guy, suddenly people are flocking around.Also, I've been around my teacher and her friends (other elders kids) when they're discussing someone in a bad way and then stopped when they noticed me. I know they know i'm not going to tell on them because i'm the outsider (and god does it feel that way!) so i think it's more about them not wanting to expose me to their nasty side yet. Im pretty sure they've had txt message conversations instead right in front of me. I'm an observer, albeit a overanalytic slightly paranoid one, but i'm right at least some of the time! she gave me her phone once to call someone for her and it took everything in me not to look at her messages.
Oh and my favourite moment was when i came to a meeting, sat down with an elders daughter i genuinely get along with (i think) and a MS dashed from the book counter up to the elder at the front and they were talking and looking at me. Took everything in me that time not to give them the finger. For curiosity's sake: how far up an elder's ass is an MS?I have heard so loud speculating which included pounding of fists on table to make a point. Old timers loved to do this.
That would have made it less cult-ish and a lot more interesting. What kept me going to the meetings was "at least they discuss the bible and have other insightful discussions." No they don't. They read whats written... then read it again. And they take bible verses out of context that only decreases my bible knowledge, not expand it. That's when i realized that staying in it wouldn't benefit me in the slightest. I'm better off in the catholic church they condemn so often because at least whole chapters get read. Speaking of that, JW logic had such an impact on me, i was thinking my grandmother who is the most christian woman, better than 98% of the JWs I've met, was damned without question because not only did she go to the catholic church every week without fail, she gave them money - which you actually saw them use to help in the community. I love how JW's get pissed off when people judge them and they'll say "If they only came to a meeting, they'd see they are wrong about us." when they judge every other religion and wouldn't step foot in their churches to see that THEY'RE wrong.
Anyway, here's an update: Last visit to the hall i told a woman i don't need a religion to serve Jesus Christ. Her loving response was "But you wouldn't get very far."And I asked an elder what would happen if someone took a blood transfusion as a baptized witness.
Me: "That's instant disfellowshipping, right? Hardest time of their life being sick and all, and then shunned on top of it."
Him: "Well.... uhh, no... no... well, let's say they'd definitely get a talking to."
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sizemik
Me: "That's instant disfellowshipping, right? Hardest time of their life being sick and all, and then shunned on top of it."
Him: "Well.... uhh, no... no... well, let's say they'd definitely get a talking to."What would actually happen by way of a "talking to" is that a Judicial Committee would be assigned to investigate. If the individual was able to demonstrate "repentance" . . . (lot's of tears and apologies and a promise to do more in service etc) . . . they might get away with a "private reproof" which would be accompanied by restrictions and loss of service "privileges". Depending on the JC's conclusions (one being how many know of it) they may receive "public reproof' which involves them being publicly named from the platform but without the transgression being identified. This too would have penalties attached. Additionally it would be accompanied by some degree of shunning from some, and a high volume of speculative gossip. If true repentance is not established, then disfellowshipping and shunning in full force would occur. This too would involve a public announcement.
Sorry if this come across as long-winded . . . but it highlights the high degree of control that is exercised.
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Witness My Fury
Taking blood = automatic disassociation (DA), unless there's grounds for mercy based on mental health issues. By taking a step that = automatic DA like this as a baptised adult JW (JW minors may have legal rulings forcing blood on them against their will so it's not voluntary) they are treated the same as a disfellowshipped JW.
I hope you can help the other study you mentioned out as well... You should have a bible study of your own you two lol
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Paralipomenon
Personally I don't think most do it intentionally.
When someone new shows up at the hall, they are encouraged to go over, meet the person and welcome them. They are also told that their goal is to bring new members into the fold.
But it's impossible to hold a smile all day, eventually after you are seen at more and more meetings you are no longer viewed as a "new person" and people that wouldn't normally be your friend stop trying. I really don't think it's malicious. You can't force yourself to become close friends with every person you meet.
The witnesses are very cliquish. Like most close-knit societies. If you get into one of the top cliques, you will likely continue to be invited over and greeted by people there. If not, it will be very lonely as you keep going wondering, why you seemed to lose these new friends, wondering if it's because you are not a good enough witness.
The average spiral is:
Attend more meetings
Get baptized
Pioneer
Give talks...
Really people keep trying harder and harder to be the best witness they can be to get that feeling back of being wanted, but unless you break into one of the cliques, you won't do it.
It sounds like you've tapped your critical thinking even though you use the occassional "witness speak". Just decide if their teachings hold up to fact or if you need their own literature to validate the teachings.
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roxanesophia
Thanks for the explanations sizemik and Witness My Fury (great name, by the way), surely that procedure is written in the bible, SOMEWHERE...
Really people keep trying harder and harder to be the best witness they can be to get that feeling back of being wanted, but unless you break into one of the cliques, you won't do it.
I'm so angry that my study conductor has neglected to tell me this stuff. Sounds like highschool again, but much worse, because it's grown men and women and a relationship with God is at stake (not that i believe that crap anymore. God isn't there anymore than he's in the church of Satan). So much for the love they have amongst themselves. Just sounds like continual judgment, then locked into that awful environment and forbidden to seek outside association with people you'd actually truly get along with and have something in common with other than field service.
You should have a bible study of your own you two lol
That's an awesome idea. Oh... but we wouldn't get very far!
Also, i'm in the habit of saying "Jehovah God" which she hates because she doesn't believe it's a real name.
So we're starting with an apostate luncheon. I txt , figuring he'd jump at the chance to associate with fellow demons, but he's too busy helping witnesses spread false gospel. -
rebel8
watchtower pre-studies in people's houses
I know this is off topic, but I have to ask about this.....my understanding is study groups were officially prohibited in recent literature. People can study only with their families...other groups just open the door to apostacy.
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roxanesophia
Hmmm.... I guess they're not obeying the rules then. It's a group of young people at someone's house, much like the old done-away with book study. Some of the people there live together, but then they invite others. NO ELDERS though