Undercover: I am sorry for your loss as well, but am glad that we both found the strength to continue on. The "spiritual paradise" the WTS constantly prates about is no better than the "worker's paradise" the old Soviet Union used to brag about. Indeed, the effect both have had on their respective rank and file has been identical in my view.
Talesin: I appreciate your kind words. Sharing ourselves with others, both the good and bad, is very therapeutic.
LHG: When Tom refused to go to the elders right before his death, I did not then understand why he had such animosity toward them. Years later, when I was haled to a judicial committee with my own problems, I finally discerned the reason. I was condemned in no uncertain terms and then told that while the elders personally wanted to be "merciful" they had "no choice" but to disfellowship me. I think Tom heard much the same. He was never df'd, but his treatment doubtless made him feel unwanted, unaccepted, and unloved.
Quendi