~Moving forward..searching for a good therapist~

by freeflyingfaerie 27 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Broken Promises

  If you feel the need for a therapist, then you need a therapist. What works for some doesn't work for all, but you will know what you need.

  If the first one doesn't feel right, then don't be afraid to seek out a different one. The first psychologist I saw was not helpful at all - she was nice, dont get me wrong, but didn't have the experience or insight to realise I had issues and concerns different to others.

  The one I'm seeing now is good. I think she's done some research in order to understand where I'm coming from, and I think she finds the whole thing of learning of what it really is like to be a JW a learning experience. And although she'll never be able to completely understand, it helps to have someone who is at least interested in where you've been and where you're going.

  This board is helpful, but nothing replaces seeing a professional who is qualified to help.
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  StephanieH

  From personal experiance going to therapy saved my life. I actaully started seeing a therapist under court order as a child when my parents divorces and my mother was pushed out of the congregation. I went off and on for sevral years, then over the past couple years I made myself go and really open up and talk. It was through talking to my therapist and case manager who works with the therapist that I found my way out. In a way they have been holding my hand through the rough waters.

  Therapy doesn't work for everyone just as anything else we are all different. But I know it has helped me and will continue to help me. Unfortunatly in my area I have been unable to find a therapist who has worked with people who have been in a cult, but as I have talked with my therapist I've been able to pretty well work out what I really already knew. Sometimes it just takes someone who is there to listen and help as they can for us to be able to work out all of the little knots tied inside our minds. You sound like you have done wonderful so far, and brave to seek a therapist.

  And if you ever need/want you can PM me or I'm sure anyone else here to talk to. Hang tough it's a fight but strength can be found even from our weakest points.
• 

  jay88

  Good Stuff, Moshe

  jay,
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  Quandry

  I got myself this far, but I want to keep purging out the ache, the pain...until it doesn't hurt quite so bad. There are times when I feel so recovered, so clear and so strong.

  You are doing great! You've come a long way, and have shown much strength. Many of us feel the same way you do-some times we feel the pain-whether families that shun, no education, no friends, etc.. Therapists are professionals who have been trained to help. I hope you are able to find one that has some idea of what JWs are all about, or are familiar with shunning and its repercussions.
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  freeflyingfaerie

  Thank you Broken Promises, StephanieH, Quandry~

  Went to therapy this morning, giving it a try.

  What's funny is that just yesterday i called my dad, saying hello, and asked to speak w my little sister, and it went very well.(it's been off and on w them, sometimes warm and even a quick "we love you" and "we talk about you all the time" and other times a coldness like they snapped right back into ultra-faithful JW mode and won't allow me to speak w my sister and get all preachy until I want the ground to swallow me up) ...funny it went so well on the phone, and I felt great going into my first session of therapy.
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  StephanieH

  It has been like that with my father since I left he has his moods where he's almost human and even sometimes fatherly. I still go to therapy and am also going to college to become a therapist because it has been the biggest help for me.

  You have guts! You know what you're doing therapy can only help and if it's not for you then something else will be. Glad you got to talk to you sister Stay stronge, I know that in my dad's moments of rare normal fatherly behavior that is the real him... Every once in a while even they 'slip up' and show their normal human side. I try to remember they still love me they are just blinded by the cult mind. I shunned many people, even my own mother for a while, now I'm on the other end. Although it hurts like nothing else I know I am a better person now because now I am the real me. Take those moments when they come but always stay on guard don't let them put the blinders back up, I have seen it happen many times.
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  freeflyingfaerie

  Stephanie H~

  You know what you're doing therapy can only help and if it's not for you then something else will be

  Yes, I'm looking to express, vent more..so maybe the sessions will be good, or maybe I just wont feel it..there are many ways to heal, and grow and I dont think therapy sessions are the ultimate, or i would've gone already.

  I try to remember they still love me they are just blinded by the cult mind.

  So true! And as much as I want them in my life (on my terms, not the religion's) I have been creating a new life for myself and my little ones, and we go on~ It's a great sadness, but hell no will I ever go back just to be with them. The shunning nonsense has backfired in this case.
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  freeflyingfaerie

  Stephanie H~

  You really are a sweety. That might have sounded aloof what I said about therapy and also my family..in actuality, I try not to care so much, because it gets to be really heavy..still learning to let go, still learning balance in all of this. I hope the best for you in your college, you'll be wonderful, especially having experienced the pain yourself.

  The religion really hits you where it hurts. They know people's needs to have closeness with the ones we love and they sure use that as a weapon to prey on our emotions. And knowing this gives me all the more reason to be happy to not be a part of it. The religion will never have the satisfaction of using my family and friends to get me to come back, as much as it pains me to miss them all.

  This is a most hurtful aspect of cultish mind-workings.

  Thanks again for the supportive comments, i really do appreciate it
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  talesin

  Therapy is a great venting mechanism, if nothing else. I had many problems (JWS was the least of it hehe), and several 'teachers' who helped me to recover over the past 20 years.

  Hope your first session was an 'interview'; remember, it's all about YOU, and you need to feel comfortable with the person you are seeing.

  It's a brave step, especially one for an ex-JW, and a very good move!

  tal
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  freeflyingfaerie

  Hi talesin~

  I asked him about having any experience w the religion. He said he has seen several people who were JW. He knew some of the lingo, realises I was brainwashed and sheltered..it went pretty well

  And everyone~

  I have to retract here and clarify...this is not my very first therapy session ever. Sorry if I was misleading. This is the first time I'm considering therapy to get it all out, not like before when I was in a crisis. There were about 3 sessions I went to with my ex-husband when we tried to reconcile. It was a nitemare, the therapist helped me confirm my decision to leave him once and for all. She was a life saver. She was there to help me see clearly during that crisis. But since then, after detoxing my life from that, the drama wasn't there, so I didnt consider therapy again, I hadn't really wanted to really give it a try.. until recently.

  And its in such a different context. It is the calm after the storm in a way. I'm not looking for a way out of a crisis, or anwers to life's most perplexing questions, no urgency...just a good sounding board..and to help to keep processing all that has happened these past several years especially. Sorry if I am confusing. The therapist we saw was during an extremely intense time, so it seemed like life-or-death and it was a sort-of emergency. Then when I left, I had a few phone sessions with her. This may seem strange, but it was almost like once she had helped me out of that crisis initially, that's all I wanted, and didn't see myself wanting her or another therapist to walk me through life. I didn't want to have to be helped. I did'n't want to hear structure so much. I wanted to figure things out myself.

  Couple that with getting back on my feet, which was very energy consuming,and was occupying me. Also I was finding other outlets, other ways to heal that felt right. In the back of my mind i thought of therapy, but didn't want any 'conventional' type of influence in my life like therapy(even though it did help me through the super-rough waters). I wanted to do things on my own, and it felt powerful. And I still feel that way, but looking back, I see the value of a therapist. So that brings me to now, its trying a therapist in a whole new way

  If you made it through that, hope your head is not spinning